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The bible

Started by Ben, December 29, 2004, 08:33:37 PM

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The bible is

The ultimate massfuck
8 (66.7%)
A common cold
2 (16.7%)
Toilet paper
2 (16.7%)

Total Members Voted: 9

Voting closed: December 29, 2004, 08:33:37 PM

Bob the Mediocre

Quote from: Hotsuma
Quote from: Sinner Bob the MediocreI'd like a Cthulhu cartoon, too. Thanks.

Warning: the following comic strip not only contains content which some parent may not find suitable for children, but also contains bad sprite editing, and lazy photoshopping.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Balestar/GHTM9/GHTMP-1.jpg

Worse than some bad poety (I would say all, but there's some real crap out there)
"we are building a religion
we are making a brand
we're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
take a bite of this apple
mister corporate events
take a walk through the jungle
of cardboard shanties and tents
some people drink pepsi
some people drink coke
the wacky morning dj says democracy's a joke
he says now do you believe in the one big song
he is now accepting callers who would like to sing along"


I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING IDIOT!

agent compassion

QuoteAgent C - I hope you told all those curly hair facists your Jesus/Eris theory Wink

Not yet. But today at Goodwill I saw a sweatshirt that had a cartoon of Bethlehem and the manger, and the star and the wisemen and all that, and the caption "IT'S A GIRL!"

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Speaking of Eris, does she get any mention in that "Troy" movie that Brad Pitt's ass was in?

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon


Zurtok Khan

She ought to, she started the whole damn thing.

Well, I geuss it was really Zues's fault for not inviting her.  But I'm sure she would've done something just as fun if she had been invited.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

agent compassion

Well, I read some reviews and apparently one of the reasons people liked it was that it DIDN'T include the Gods and Goddesses. Eris gets left out again, I guess that explains why that steaming piece of shit never got an Oscar.  :lol:

It's interesting to me how Eris is blamed solely for the Trojan War, when in fact, the biggest contributions were actually committed by the other Gods and the HUMANS involved. Paris didn't have to dump Oenone and bone Helen even though she was on the verge of marrying someone else. He didn't have to take Aphrodite's bribe at all. Aphrodite could have told Paris "Sorry, no, she's taken" when he asked for Helen.

The three Goddesses didn't have to be so fucking insecure about their looks that they fought over an *apple.* (I mean, c'mon, if you're a God, you've already got superpower, material wealth, and legions of fearful worshippers to bring you candy and wipe your ass. What more do you need?)

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon


Mangrove

I think Eris hit Oliver Stone's movie instead. It was too gay for the conservatives and not gay enough for the gays-rights lobby.

Oscar Nazi: Oliver Stone!! No Oscar for you!! For 2 years!!
<Stone shuffles out of the academy, crestfallen>
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

agent compassion

Fuck, I didn't even know Stone had a movie out this year. What was it?

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon


Zurtok Khan

Props to agent compassion
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Mangrove

Alexander The Great. Starring Colin Farrel, the moody drunken Irishman playing a peroxide Macedonian king as he minces & conquers his way into Asia.

 I've not seen it, but we had weeks of reportage of how it bombed in America followed by it opening here in the UK and being slated from the moment tickets went on sale.

 There was even talks of some Greek nationalist lobby suing Stone for his portrayal of Alexander as bisexual.

  Two thumbs down etc
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: EpitaphI haven't read much of the bible because I'm lazy and because it's diabolical, so I've decided to pick the brains of fellow black sheep to distinguish the highlights of it, which might be useful arsenal in conversing with Christians.  What are some of the best and/or worst verses from the bible?


Revelation 11:18 "...And the Lord shall destroy the destroyers of the Earth."

Contrast this with:

"There is no need for conservation, because the second coming is at hand."
- James Watt, Secretary of the Interior to Ronald Reagan.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Zurtok Khan

QuoteThere was even talks of some Greek nationalist lobby suing Stone for his portrayal of Alexander as bisexual.

But Alexander was bisexual...

I mean his head servant (I geuss in this case that has a double meaning) was his lover.

Most of the greeks were married to women, but had their real relationship with men.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Horab Fibslager

so what kind of intact first ahnd journalistic accoutn is that from? lemme guess the complete records of alexander the great's butler/lover's jouranl which has never existed?


yeah maybe he was gay? who gives a flying fuck?
Hell is other people.

LMNO

Quote from: Saint Zurtok Ah.D.
Most of the greeks were married to women, but had their real relationship with men.

[E-Prime Alert]
Please change "most" to "many" prior to presenting solid evidence that more that 50% of all Greek men sucked cock.
[/E-prime Alert]

Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: Saint Zurtok Ah.D.
Most of the greeks were married to women, but had their real relationship with men.

[E-Prime Alert]
Please change "most" to "many" prior to presenting solid evidence that more that 50% of all Greek men sucked cock.
[/E-prime Alert]

Actually, even though they had sexual contact with other men, I am not sure if they considered it homosexuality.  No penetration occurred, one man would put his penis between the thighs of another man or something like that.  I tried to find a reference, but I couldn't, sorry and I have forgotten where I read that originally.  To be penetrated was shameful.