I had a GREAT idea for a book

[Kai]

That chapter was great for a first draft. I wish I could have seen it before you edited out all the mongol references.

[Rumckle]

I think the thing with sticking to medieval Europe in the fantasy genre (though sometimes you can get away with ancient Greece/Rome), is that when you combine fantasy terms with Eastern terms (or any other non-European cliche fantasy), you risk getting having it all lumped in as fantasy, rather than historical fact from a time period and culture the reader is unfamiliar with. In which case you will seem to delve much further into fantasy than you actually are, which can alienate the reader.

Also, some of the way the characters thoughts about each other seem planet of hats-ish (or race of hats at least), though I'm assuming this is intentional (or these aren't major enough characters in the overall story to warrant in depth discussion).

[Cainad (dec.)]

HOWEVER if you include an author's introduction before the first chapter, you can explain that many of your terms are taken from <insert culture that is not Western European here>. Give a few examples and then people will feel smart and edumacated and they will give rave reviews to their nerdy friends about how cool and unique the book is.

[Cain]

I think the thing with sticking to medieval Europe in the fantasy genre (though sometimes you can get away with ancient Greece/Rome), is that when you combine fantasy terms with Eastern terms (or any other non-European cliche fantasy), you risk getting having it all lumped in as fantasy, rather than historical fact from a time period and culture the reader is unfamiliar with. In which case you will seem to delve much further into fantasy than you actually are, which can alienate the reader.

Also, some of the way the characters thoughts about each other seem planet of hats-ish (or race of hats at least), though I'm assuming this is intentional (or these aren't major enough characters in the overall story to warrant in depth discussion).

Yeah. Which is why I did end up changing it.  Fortunately, most of the plot will be taking place in a culture based on the Romans, and based on Renaissance Italy, so hopefully there won't be too much cultural dissonance.

I admit they do come across a little plant of hats-esque, especially the Yuezhi officer.  That is something I hope to minimize with further revisions and drafts.  However, as later revelations will show, the Yuezhi officer in question is actually not a standard representation of his culture, at least how it has been plotted out by me.  His belief he should be given a better position due to his father's rank, for example, is not a standard belief for that culture because, like the Mongols, they place an emphasis on merit above all.  His father actually has a Rurik master-of-arms as his second in command.  He could have learnt the necessary skills for types of warfare apart from mounted combat and seiges, but his disdain for Rurik culture and society - helped in no small part by the idealization of steppe life by many Yuezhi of his age - meant he never bothered to learn it.  Equally, he is young enough to have spent almost all his life in Rurik as well, so he should be able to speak the language fluently.

Things like this will be more evident as more writing is done, but with what you had to go on, the Planet of Hats worry was a reasonable one.

Also, I'm going to mercilessly subvert the Proud Warrior Race Guy thing I'm setting up with them.  I don't want to say too much, because I still haven't figured out the details, but lets just say any similarity to Klingons, Aiel or Fremen are merely superficial.  I'm going to put the war back into warrior, and remind people precisely how brutal warfare in the past could be.

[LMNO]

Yay!


I'm really looking forward to this.

[Requia ☣]

I'm going to put the war back into warrior, and remind people precisely how brutal warfare in the past could be.

I take it i can expect a long brutal bloodbath, torture for the fun of it, an army thats basically a glorified slaver operation and at least one attempt at genocide then?

[Cain]

That and then some.

I mean, break down the term, Proud Warrior Race Guy:

Proud

Also could mean haughty, arrogant, dismissive of others.

Warrior

Warriors are defined in contrast to soldiers.   The aestheticization of violence, "a dead enemy is a thing of beauty".

Race

Need I say any more?

Guy

A wee bit sexist, perhaps?

Given the major theme of this was to be "the classical, Romantic hero, beloved of fantasy, is a thinly veiled fascist", I would have to say the two mesh quite well.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Why not treat it *as* psychology? That's something that to my knowledge hasn't been done in fiction really. Additionally, it makes it more or less useless in most of the situations where it would be a deus ex machina, but quite absurdly useful in certain other places where you might need it (taking the place of psychological warfare and in some cases psychoanalysis).

Isn't that pretty much the majority of what the Lancre Witches do on Discworld?


"Headology"

Yeah, but they also have real magic powers. They're just afraid to use them because using them excessively tends to endanger the user and/or drive tem insane.


EDIT:
As for the OP, that was kind of the plot of Wicked, wasn't it. "Glinda the Good" is a bitch, and the "Wonderful Wizard" is a tyrannical fascist.

EDIT:
Also Grendel by John Gardner.