Author Topic: Gift horses and the right to complain  (Read 1803 times)

Reginald Ret

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Gift horses and the right to complain
« on: March 18, 2015, 10:01:37 pm »
I ran into this old question on the The Escapist forums:
Quote
If something is given to you for FREE, do you have the right to complain or rant about it?

We could argue this question here (and I wouldn't mind if we do) but I would prefer to talk about the difference between given and offered.
For me a gift has a social cost to refuse while an offer has no social cost.

People who give you something presume to know what you want and expect you to be happy, so in that situation I see no issue with bitching about it loudly and offensively if it turns out to be a shitty gift. This way you put a reciprocal social cost on giving bad gifts.
People who offer you something may expect you to be happy with it but also consider the possibility that the gift is unwanted. Here bitching would be pointless because you choose to take the offered thing.

Real world examples are very welcome, as are imaginary ones.
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rong

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2015, 10:19:18 pm »
what about when gramma gives your kid a drumset?
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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2015, 01:03:20 am »
If someone is nice enough to give you something you should probably just say thank you.
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minuspace

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2015, 03:11:29 am »
What if the gift was counterfeit, passing itself as real?

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2015, 03:42:40 am »
"Free" implies the absence of manipulation, so say "Thank you," accept, and move on.


Your question obviously presumes more devious intent, though.

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2015, 03:43:09 am »
Someone gives you the clap and doesn't invoice you.

You still get to bitch.
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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2015, 03:49:02 am »
"Free" implies the absence of manipulation, so say "Thank you," accept, and move on.


Your question obviously presumes more devious intent, though.
There's that, and then I'm getting flashes of Derrida going about with a wooden coin in his pocket, in case he sees a beggar, or something.

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2015, 11:08:22 am »
Didn't Nigel have a thread a while back on this subject?

Reginald Ret

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2015, 01:49:52 pm »
what about when gramma gives your kid a drumset?
Depending on your sensitivity to sound this can be either a good gift or a bad gift. Either way you didn't get a choice.
If you don't want your gramma to do such things again then I advise talking to her, call me crazy.

If someone is nice enough to give you something you should probably just say thank you.
I have mountains of worn out clothing. If I were to give them all to you, would you thank me for using you as a dumping ground?

What if the gift was counterfeit, passing itself as real?
Does it seem bad but turns out to be awesome or the other way around?

"Free" implies the absence of manipulation, so say "Thank you," accept, and move on.


Your question obviously presumes more devious intent, though.
I don't think manipulation matters, in both situations I am left with something I don't want.
What do I do with the unwanted item?
Am I allowed to give feedback to the giver or am I supposed to accept any pile of crap and say thank you?

You comment made me rethink my question.
If 'Free'  implies no cost in any form (for example angering the giver by refusing) then in the OP I called it an offer, not a gift. So a free gift is by definition an offer.
That changes my question to 'Are free gifts better than gifts with an expectation of thanks?'
That is quite a bit simpler to answer, thanks for clarifying.

Someone gives you the clap and doesn't invoice you.

You still get to bitch.

Another cost that can be attached to a gift.
Here the previous point applies as well, the clap is never free of cost.

Didn't Nigel have a thread a while back on this subject?
She did, I forgot about it. :oops:
Thanks for reminding me, hers was a very interesting thread.
I will try to find it later, I gotta get back to work.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2015, 02:11:33 pm »
If someone is nice enough to give you something you should probably just say thank you.
I have mountains of worn out clothing. If I were to give them all to you, would you thank me for using you as a dumping ground?

Well I don't make a habit of upsetting mentally ill people, so... :lulz:
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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2015, 02:24:56 pm »
An ex girlfriend once gave me a pair of pet rats as a birthday present. I hadn't asked for them.

I didn't complain about the gift, but (particularly in retrospect) I don't feel that it was particularly appropriate.

Maybe there are gifts that are simply given/received and then there are gifts that involve future obligations.

Another example I just thought of that hasn't happened to me:

If you were given a free car but couldn't afford the associated running costs would this give you the right to complain?
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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2015, 08:06:47 pm »

complain only when something like this happens, im surprised none mention it

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Reginald Ret

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Re: Gift horses and the right to complain
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2015, 08:58:37 pm »
If someone is nice enough to give you something you should probably just say thank you.
I have mountains of worn out clothing. If I were to give them all to you, would you thank me for using you as a dumping ground?

Well I don't make a habit of upsetting mentally ill people, so... :lulz:
:lulz:
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"