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Shameless Slander, #10: Waffles

Started by Doktor Howl, May 12, 2015, 04:03:50 PM

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Doktor Howl

May 12, 2015, 04:03:50 PM Last Edit: May 12, 2015, 04:25:58 PM by Doktor Howl
The lady don't mind.  No, no, the lady don't mind.  Here he comes again, Northern Europe's response to Ron Jeremy.  Mostly naked, far too much hair, and doing a bouncy dance that would be disturbing when done by regular people.  But again, the lady don't mind.  He's dancing for HER, and everyone else is "collateral damage".  The government of his tiny nation not only permits this, but encourages it, because it scares the hell out of the German government when he slams next to the border, with a non-regulation faux hawk, a kilt, and a pair of Cornish stomping boots.

The lady don't mind.  No, no, the lady don't mind.  He's misbehaving musically again, and won't that show the Swiss a thing or two?  Or was that the Swedes?  Anyway, there'll be no more lip from Abba and Nilsson.  She kinda likes that style.  There is stomping by the fire pit, the one man who doesn't give a fuck about "authenticity" because he DEFINES authenticity, and when you do THAT, everyone asks why you aren't doing what the Americans are doing.  Or the Japanese.

The lady don't mind.  No, no, the lady don't mind.  He's crammed his bulk and his hair into HALF a mini-cooper (leaving room for her), so that he looks like a high-speed and very angry can of haggis.  He gearshifts with his dick.  He has no choice.  He goes roaring down the tiny lanes they call roads, while she sits on the passenger side, putting La Roux CDs in, and singing along.  Eventually, they get to the restaurant and enjoy a nice dinner of frozen butter.  He declines two duels as under his station, and accepts 3 more, scheduling them into his tablet.

And she kinda likes that style.
Molon Lube

LMNO

#1
May 12, 2015, 04:41:39 PM
FUCK YEAH.

Reginald Ret

#2
May 12, 2015, 06:06:43 PM
NICE!
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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EK WAFFLR

#3
May 12, 2015, 08:13:55 PM
This is truth right here.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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EK WAFFLR

#4
May 13, 2015, 09:58:17 AM
By the way.

I forced through a regulation on faux hawks. They're now mandatory for all men, women and otherkin in all of Europe.
Also, the new Anthem for the EU is now Safety Dance by Men At Work.
Man, did I have to chop some heads to get that one through.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Doktor Howl

#5
May 21, 2015, 04:20:43 AM
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on May 13, 2015, 09:58:17 AM
By the way.

I forced through a regulation on faux hawks. They're now mandatory for all men, women and otherkin in all of Europe.
Also, the new Anthem for the EU is now Safety Dance by Men At Work.
Man, did I have to chop some heads to get that one through.

I'd guess so, since Safety Dance was declared a crime against humanity in 1989.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

#6
May 21, 2015, 04:21:02 AM
But dance crimes are the best kind of crimes.
Molon Lube

EK WAFFLR

#7
May 21, 2015, 11:01:16 AM
I plan on making it obligatory for criminals to dance while criming.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]
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