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UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.

Started by Doktor Howl, May 18, 2015, 03:41:30 AM

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LMNO

Getting back on track for a second, I had a thought about this massive field of GOP candidates.

It started with being puzzled how the GOP, long behaving as a monolith of unified belief* and action, would fracture like this, and so enormously.  So, just to be fun, I thought of a way this could be beneficial in 2016.  So check it: You have 2-3 "mainstream" candidates, 10 or so "wingnuts", and maybe five "batshit crazies".  They're all preaching variations on a conservative message, often contradictory.  This means they can play to a niche market, and draw to them whatever conservatives are passionate to their cause.  Then, in a controled consolidation, the batshits drop out and endorse one or more of the wingnuts, who are then cultured and bolstered.  The wingnuts, in turn, drop out and endorse either another wingnut or a mainstream, bringing their supporters with them.  In short order, you've gathered a fractured and rather tenuous base together under one candidate.

It's so crazy it's not out of the realm of possibility.





















*Or at least lip service.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 03, 2015, 01:06:18 PM
Getting back on track for a second, I had a thought about this massive field of GOP candidates.

It started with being puzzled how the GOP, long behaving as a monolith of unified belief* and action, would fracture like this, and so enormously.  So, just to be fun, I thought of a way this could be beneficial in 2016.  So check it: You have 2-3 "mainstream" candidates, 10 or so "wingnuts", and maybe five "batshit crazies".  They're all preaching variations on a conservative message, often contradictory.  This means they can play to a niche market, and draw to them whatever conservatives are passionate to their cause.  Then, in a controled consolidation, the batshits drop out and endorse one or more of the wingnuts, who are then cultured and bolstered.  The wingnuts, in turn, drop out and endorse either another wingnut or a mainstream, bringing their supporters with them.  In short order, you've gathered a fractured and rather tenuous base together under one candidate.

It's so crazy it's not out of the realm of possibility.





















*Or at least lip service.

That ain't what's gonna happen, though.

70% of the GOP who will bother to vote in the general election will vote for the GOP candidate, on account of Anything But Hillary.

30% will throw a wobbler and write Rand Paul in. 

Bank on it.
Molon Lube

Q. G. Pennyworth

Trump's in the race.


It's a good thing tonight is drinking night. All these brain cells have been contaminated and need to die.

Rev Thwack

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 16, 2015, 04:40:47 PM
Trump's in the race.


It's a good thing tonight is drinking night. All these brain cells have been contaminated and need to die.
Hey, it's fun watching a toupee think it can grow up to be the president.
My balls itch...

President Television

My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Faust

Quote
A LARGE stack of money has announced that it will make a run for the White House in 2016.

The pile of cash, estimated to be around 1.2 billion US dollars, said yesterday at a special press conference in Washington DC that it would seek the presidency next year.

"I'm running for the oval office," the money told a packed conference room. "I will begin my campaign immediately and start touring the United States as early as next week".

Reports claim the centre of the large pile of money's campaign pitch will be its "simple approach" to the election process: 'scaling back on everything but the financial element behind a regular presidential campaign'.

"Why waste time with people and merchandise that are basically just fronts for the real fuel behind a US presidential bid – money,"  said a spokesperson for the legal tender. "Scaling back to the bare essentials is the way forward. Money talks so why not let it run for office?"

It is believed the $1.2bn will also stress its attempt to become the first ever stack of cash to sit in the Oval Office.

"We expect its value to drop to seven hundred million by election time, but it will be enough to sustain a four year term as president".

Meanwhile, former Secretary of State and first lady Hillary Clinton also announced her presidential bid yesterday evening, raising fears that Monika Lewinsky may be one step closer to annihilation by drone strike.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/04/13/large-pile-of-cash-announces-us-presidency-bid/
Sleepless nights at the chateau

hooplala

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 16, 2015, 04:40:47 PM
Trump's in the race.


It's a good thing tonight is drinking night. All these brain cells have been contaminated and need to die.

People keep talking like this is a real thing, but throwing your hat in the ring is not the same as getting the election.  I can't imagine a world where the GOP actually put him forward as their candidate. Am I being naive?
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Hoopla on June 17, 2015, 12:55:31 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 16, 2015, 04:40:47 PM
Trump's in the race.


It's a good thing tonight is drinking night. All these brain cells have been contaminated and need to die.

People keep talking like this is a real thing, but throwing your hat in the ring is not the same as getting the election.  I can't imagine a world where the GOP actually put him forward as their candidate. Am I being naive?

It means he's going to participate in the primaries. He's going to get interviewed, show up at debates, and probably pay for political ads. I don't want to bleach my brain because he might be our next president, but because we're going to have to listen to his bullshit for months.

Rev Thwack

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 17, 2015, 01:03:01 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on June 17, 2015, 12:55:31 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 16, 2015, 04:40:47 PM
Trump's in the race.


It's a good thing tonight is drinking night. All these brain cells have been contaminated and need to die.

People keep talking like this is a real thing, but throwing your hat in the ring is not the same as getting the election.  I can't imagine a world where the GOP actually put him forward as their candidate. Am I being naive?

It means he's going to participate in the primaries. He's going to get interviewed, show up at debates, and probably pay for political ads. I don't want to bleach my brain because he might be our next president, but because we're going to have to listen to his bullshit for months.
Don't start the drinking now... Save it as a drinking game. Take a drink whenever he brings up a failed casino as an example of how great a business man he is.
My balls itch...

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Trump is nothing but a running stream of hilarity, from unauthorized use of Neil Young's music to his apparent plans to "stop subsidizing China" by repaying our debt.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cain

Quote from: Faust on June 17, 2015, 10:24:32 AM
Quote
A LARGE stack of money has announced that it will make a run for the White House in 2016.

The pile of cash, estimated to be around 1.2 billion US dollars, said yesterday at a special press conference in Washington DC that it would seek the presidency next year.

"I'm running for the oval office," the money told a packed conference room. "I will begin my campaign immediately and start touring the United States as early as next week".

Reports claim the centre of the large pile of money's campaign pitch will be its "simple approach" to the election process: 'scaling back on everything but the financial element behind a regular presidential campaign'.

"Why waste time with people and merchandise that are basically just fronts for the real fuel behind a US presidential bid – money,"  said a spokesperson for the legal tender. "Scaling back to the bare essentials is the way forward. Money talks so why not let it run for office?"

It is believed the $1.2bn will also stress its attempt to become the first ever stack of cash to sit in the Oval Office.

"We expect its value to drop to seven hundred million by election time, but it will be enough to sustain a four year term as president".

Meanwhile, former Secretary of State and first lady Hillary Clinton also announced her presidential bid yesterday evening, raising fears that Monika Lewinsky may be one step closer to annihilation by drone strike.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/04/13/large-pile-of-cash-announces-us-presidency-bid/

Obviously racist against Bitcoin.

Rev Thwack

Bitcoin? Oh please. Bitcoin is obviously just pesos that are lying and claiming to be transmonetary.
My balls itch...

Cain

See, all of you nationally backed currencies are racist.

Doktor Howl

It seems that the clapping crowd around Trump when he announced were all extras being paid $50 a head.

:lulz:
Molon Lube

Cain

Cheapskates.  I'd only applaud Trump for $150 and a date with a Miss America washout.