The World Unseeing Ebook!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Once upon a time I was a member of the Science Fiction club at UMass. We had the moderate honor of being the second largest library of science fiction books in the northeast (damn you, MIT). We were also a bunch of lazy college students and behaved as such. So, one day we realized that there was a mailbox for the club at the Student Union, and nobody had checked it for months. The officers went up there and grabbed a package that had been waiting no shit for at least 3 months. It said "chicken and cheese enchiladas" on the side. "Keep frozen."

The suspicious package was brought down to the campus center basement and a large trash can prepared to dump the contents into as soon as the seals were broken. Someone cut the tape and inside...

Was a pile of books.

The letter inside went something to the effect of "This is my book. I'm really terrible at promoting myself, but I am really good at giving things away. Please take these copies of my book and hand them out to people, and maybe someone will like it!"

I still have a copy of chicken and cheese enchiladas on my bookshelf.





Your creative marketing campaign pales in comparison.

That's still one of my favorite stories.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Once upon a time I was a member of the Science Fiction club at UMass. We had the moderate honor of being the second largest library of science fiction books in the northeast (damn you, MIT). We were also a bunch of lazy college students and behaved as such. So, one day we realized that there was a mailbox for the club at the Student Union, and nobody had checked it for months. The officers went up there and grabbed a package that had been waiting no shit for at least 3 months. It said "chicken and cheese enchiladas" on the side. "Keep frozen."

The suspicious package was brought down to the campus center basement and a large trash can prepared to dump the contents into as soon as the seals were broken. Someone cut the tape and inside...

Was a pile of books.

The letter inside went something to the effect of "This is my book. I'm really terrible at promoting myself, but I am really good at giving things away. Please take these copies of my book and hand them out to people, and maybe someone will like it!"

I still have a copy of chicken and cheese enchiladas on my bookshelf.





Your creative marketing campaign pales in comparison.

That's still one of my favorite stories.

I was worried I might have brought it up here before. Oh well, still relevant.

[tammywilding]

Wow!
I've read the posts made in reply to my innocent post.
All the posts seem to be from people with anonymous names, pseudonyms.
And they are all so negative!

Truly Greyface appears to rule in the hearts of the membership.

Well, as an unemployed person, I cannot afford to just give away my books.

They only cost £1.99, or $3 anyone who cannot afford that, really shouldn't bother reading my books!

They clearly need the money for more important things!

Thank you again
I would have said for your patience and forebearing with a new author, but there is nothing to thank you for.

Good luck with your lives.

i hope you find some measure of happiness, for your jaded souls, or minds for the atheistic amongst you!

[Faust]

Tammy, My name is Michael.

Let me make it clear that no one has asked you to give away your book for free.

All we asked was you interact with the community a bit before pushing your book, we appreciate you for posting it, but when you are promoting something that's for sale no one here is going to buy it unless you at least make an effort to introduce yourself.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I really thought that walking blindly into an established community on the internet, ignoring the local etiquette, hollering about my book, and wandering off would result in sales instead of abuse!

fify

[Cain]

Well I'm sure insulting the userbase will convince them to buy your ebook.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"HEY STRANGERS BUY MY BOOK"

"uhhh... who are you? Maybe you could introduce yourself and let us know why we would be interested?"

"FUCK YOU, YOU ARE MISERABLE MEAN NO FUN MEANIE-PANTS"

Brilliant marketing approach!

[Cain]

Did you take marketing advice from Ben Mack?

[Pæs]

Hi tammy,

You seem to have failed to notice that everyone is actually being supremely reasonably and calmly, gently explaining your faux pas to you.

I feel as though you may be the kind of person to miss details like this.

For this reason, having read your bio, I would like to respectfully suggest that when your friend, after you had 'spouted and waxed far too lyrical online', suggested "you should write a book," what they were in fact trying to communicate to you was "please, Tammy, it's 2am I don't want to read your Hagrid/Tyrion slashfic, especially not as rendered by Facebook's messaging service. Go and write these ideas somewhere I don't have to engage with them."

[tammywilding]

So straight, so square, so greyface, so non discordian, so out of here.

Can't find out how to delete my account, would one of you squares do it for me?

[Doktor Howl]

So straight, so square, so greyface, so non discordian, so out of here.

Can't find out how to delete my account, would one of you squares do it for me?

1.  You guessed it.  We're the FAKE Discordians.  The real ones are 3 doors down on the left.  How clever of you to see through our ruse.

2.  We don't delete accounts.  Sorry.

[Doktor Howl]

This will teach me to be nice to new folks.

Which was a bad idea.  I need to go back to the tried-and-true methodology of shitting on them from a great height.

It's better than smiling at cheap hucksters.

[LMNO]

[Faust]

So straight, so square, so greyface, so non discordian, so out of here.

Can't find out how to delete my account, would one of you squares do it for me?

so long.

[Junkenstein]

So where and how can I get a copy of chicken and cheese enchiladas?