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Never Fall In Love With a Discordian

Started by Q. G. Pennyworth, March 30, 2016, 05:43:21 PM

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Q. G. Pennyworth

March 30, 2016, 05:43:21 PM
Never fall in love with a Discordian. Seriously, I cannot stress this enough. They don't do things by halves, or even by wholes: everything is 169% ALL THE TIME. You want to get a Discordian flowers? She hijacked a truck full of roses and abandoned it in your driveway. You want to give him a card? He's already spraypainted a love poem on a national monument. It's in iambic pentameter and somehow he managed to fit the word "fuckstick" in there and it works.

Going on a date with a Discordian is about equally likely to end in sex or felonies, with a significant chance of the sex being a felony depending on local custom. Discordians are serious about having a good time, and you are not prepared. You will learn to hate the word "adventure."

Never give a Discordian your heart. They're tinkerers, you see, and they have to learn how things work by tearing them apart. You will never get your heart broken quite the same as a Discordian vivisection. The world is full of Horrible Truths and the Discordian will want you to LOOK AT THEM together, and think this is a romantic activity. Discordians are always
     getting fucked in the ass by Nigel,
         but that's not so bad.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#1
March 30, 2016, 05:45:31 PM

Vanadium Gryllz

#2
March 30, 2016, 07:14:50 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 30, 2016, 05:43:21 PM

The world is full of Horrible Truths and the Discordian will want you to LOOK AT THEM together, and think this is a romantic activity.

You can't trust just anyone with the Horrible Truths.

"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Wizard Joseph

#3
March 30, 2016, 08:04:21 PM
 :eek:  :fap:
I love this. The pic version is just icing on the cake! It occurred to me that this may be accidentally taken for satire and so increase folks' curiosity about Discordia.. suckers!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
March 30, 2016, 09:12:41 PM
I love this.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#5
March 30, 2016, 09:27:46 PM
Frame and cupid are all kopyleft, I even paid for the font!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
March 31, 2016, 03:40:27 AM
Aw! It's so romantic!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

East Coast Hustle

#7
March 31, 2016, 04:41:47 PM
This is great!
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"
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