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'Thank the goddess I'm not a father' day

Started by The Fixer, August 10, 2015, 06:14:21 AM

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The Fixer

Note: I don't know if this is the correct board, though, I don't really, but if the mods care, they can move to the right place, if this please them.

Hi, my dear discordians friends from all around the globe. I'm Anderson Victorious Molotov Dias, the lunatic. But you can call me Dias (pronounced as Di-ass). I'm a delegate from Brazilian Illuminati Cabal S.H.I.M.O. (Sociedade Hermética Iniciática da Mão Onanástica).
I'm a writer and also the guy of the calender, I mean, not the guy who poses for the calendar (It would be funny, though), but the guy who translate the Whollydays from english to portuguese. My name is Dias, if I didn't took care of the calendar, what would I be? - Dias is the portuguese word for days.

Yesterday was 2 of Bureacracy, and in Brazil was what the catholics call "Father's Day". And since I was drinking, grateful that I'm no child's father, Our Lady gave me the idea, that we should celebrate that we're no parents! We should drink in name of Eris, for we are not fathers, and we should drink in name of our comrades, that failed in this mission and are fathers. Every "Father's Day", we should apologize to our fathers, for being born. Womens can drink in honor for their friends, that became fathers, and they should apologize with their fathers too. People can tell Dad Jokes, if they want. As we brazilians celebrates in the second sunday of august, the north americans should celebrate on the third sunday of June, just like people from spain shoul celebrate on the 5th of discord, and people from Seychelles on the Confusion 21st. It would be a mutable Whollyday, though.

In Counterpart, women could celebrate the "Thank the goddess I'm not a mother" day. It would be almost the same thing, everybody should apologize with our mother, for being born, and women should drink, because they're not mothers, or drink in honor of they comrades. Men should apologize with their mothers, and drink for their friend who are mothers. Plus, we all should apologize with Eris, for we are all born from Her will, I think. And drink a lot too, well, everybody should drink in every fucking day, and use tons and tons of drugs too. Brazillians celebrate Mother's day on the 2 sunday of may, just like Nort americans. People on Spain would celebrate on the first sunday of may, I don't know about people from Seychelles, though.

That's a proposition for discordians all around the world, we from SHIMO will celebrate it anyway, though, 'cause we like to drink. The problem I see, with the 'Thank the Goddess I'm not a father' day, in Brazil, is that is too close from the Multiversal Undergarment Day. I will basically close my eyes, and hope to people not to apologize with their father in their undergarments, it would be something-I-can-describe.

Be thankful that you're not some kid parent! (Or how we say in portuguese: "Tire a batata do cu e jogue pela janela, quem sabe assim nasce uma árvore de cachorro-quente".

Safety and Peace, brothers and sisters.
Timoteo Pinto, Tae Ateh, Monty Cantsin, Karen Karnak, Karen Eliot, Luther Blisset, são todos sintomas da mesma cura, são sinais vitais enviados pela DEUSA, Éris.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Doktor Howl

Quote from: Molotov Dias on August 10, 2015, 06:14:21 AM
Our Lady gave me the idea, that we should celebrate that we're no parents!

But I am a parent.
Molon Lube

Freeky


Freeky

But at least the hot dog joke was different than normal.

The Fixer

@Edward, como tu sabia que eu espirrei?
@Mesozoic and Dok Howl: If the child is a little discordian, you can teach then to ask for apologie, and you can drink a lot, because you're a parent, if you think that's irresponsible, you can walk with your child and thank the goddess that you're mother/father of a child, that will spread caos in some point of their life. The idea of this thread, is exactly discuss this whollyday, I don't know if that was clear, I think it wasn't after all. :P

@Choppas: What hot-dog joke? Huhuhuh.

Sorry if didn't started so well, lol. Wasn't my intention. The Lady showed me something, and maybe I was looking only for my context, and not the others context. The basic idea is to drink a lot and be happy, even if you don't drink a lot, or don't even drink, I think. I sayed people should drink 'cause some of us failed in the mission of not being a father, but I didn't consider the name of Sri Syadasti, well fuck.
Anyway, what could we do to do not and do celebrate the Father's day?

Safety and Peace, sis and bros.
Timoteo Pinto, Tae Ateh, Monty Cantsin, Karen Karnak, Karen Eliot, Luther Blisset, são todos sintomas da mesma cura, são sinais vitais enviados pela DEUSA, Éris.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

How about all the other holidays for things we aren't? 
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Fixer

Like Parents? Oh Goddess, wait, no. Shit. Aaaaaahmmmmm. I mean. Yeah, yeah, that would be great too.
Like All Souls' Day, we celebrate that we are alive, and then drink a lot for the guys who are dead? That would be on 14 of Aftermath (at least here on Brsland).

Safety and Peace.
Timoteo Pinto, Tae Ateh, Monty Cantsin, Karen Karnak, Karen Eliot, Luther Blisset, são todos sintomas da mesma cura, são sinais vitais enviados pela DEUSA, Éris.