DECLASSIFIED drink recipes by TWJ

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

As sunny days give way to autumn chill and rain, it's time to shelve the shandies and move to something a little more wintery; that old Pacific Northwest classic, milk beer, aka bilk.

This recipe works best with a Porter or a Stout but any rich smooth low-hop ale will work.

3/4 beer
1/4 milk or half-and-half
Pinch of ground cardamom

That sounds delicious.

I must disagree. It might prove to in fact be delightful, but my brain is simply not willing to put the equation milk+beer=yum in with the "true" stuff.

That's not to say I won't try it, but skeptical wizard is skeptical.

It's surprisingly refreshing, and kind of oddly comforting at the same time. You wouldn't think it but its true. You have to use a fairly strong beer or the milk sort of washes out the flavor, though.

I can just see the face of the liquor store attendant when I ask for a recommendation on a low-hop ale that has a flavor strong enough to blend with milk and not be overpowered.

 

I did this with some leftover Genesee cream ale, 2% milk, two dashes of ground cardamon, and a dash of ground cinnamon. After each ingredient was added I had my wife taste it.

She has no idea if she likes it or hates it. She kept making this wonderfully angry perplexed face.

We made it with a chocolate porter the other day. I thought it was delicious, Alty thought it was horrifying.

[Freeky]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

[The Wizard Joseph]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Ice
Double shot of bourbon
Orange juice
Top with unsweetened cranberry

Fuck yes.

[Freeky]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

[The Wizard Joseph]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

Wassail? I've only ever heard of it in context of a vampire RPG by White Wolf. It's a permanent state of frenzied bloodlust that a truly debased vampire character can fall into. Not so sure you mean that, but you is clearly of da gamer folk so not sure you don't either.

Ever had a honeycrisp apple?

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

Wassail? I've only ever heard of it in context of a vampire RPG by White Wolf. It's a permanent state of frenzied bloodlust that a truly debased vampire character can fall into. Not so sure you mean that, but you is clearly of da gamer folk so not sure you don't either.

Ever had a honeycrisp apple?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassail

[The Wizard Joseph]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

Wassail? I've only ever heard of it in context of a vampire RPG by White Wolf. It's a permanent state of frenzied bloodlust that a truly debased vampire character can fall into. Not so sure you mean that, but you is clearly of da gamer folk so not sure you don't either.

Ever had a honeycrisp apple?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassail

Thanks!

I never considered toast as a drink ingredient. The practice of wassailing as described seems about right. The gaming concept just got some extra creepy points as the reference is to a revel of drinking and that's kinda what happens when their version of a vampire irrevocably snaps.

Might look into this some more. The orchards around the Mississippi are plentiful. Why, the "Apple Capital Of Minnesota" is right across the river.

[Freeky]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

Wassail? I've only ever heard of it in context of a vampire RPG by White Wolf. It's a permanent state of frenzied bloodlust that a truly debased vampire character can fall into. Not so sure you mean that, but you is clearly of da gamer folk so not sure you don't either.

Ever had a honeycrisp apple?

...Yes?

[The Wizard Joseph]

1/2 big bottle blood orange Italian soda
1 shot of apple pie moonshine


Yum.

They say never mix apples and oranges, but it is the tasty.

That's what wassail is.  Fuckin Delicialous apple cider with oranges in.

Wassail? I've only ever heard of it in context of a vampire RPG by White Wolf. It's a permanent state of frenzied bloodlust that a truly debased vampire character can fall into. Not so sure you mean that, but you is clearly of da gamer folk so not sure you don't either.

Ever had a honeycrisp apple?

...Yes?

Not really sure where I was going with this, but I think it was me leading into my "apple pie" recipe and wishing I had access to honeycrisp cider for it.

Can't remember the exact recipe though... I think it went like this.


2 1gal jugs of apple cider
1 liter of Everclear
5 large cinnamon sticks
1 lb of fine buckwheat(dark) honey
1 large funnel
3 feet heavy cotton string
1 coffee filter
1 3+ gal sauce pot & snug lid
1 ladle

Pour cider into pot and set to med heat.
Wrap cinnamon in coffee filter, break if necessary but don't crush, and tie off with string leaving a length to pull with.
Add honey to warming cider and stir until mostly dissolved.
Add cinnamon packet leaving string out over the side, packet should be about mid way up side of pan, put lid on pot securing string outside.
Once pot is emitting visible steam set heat to low and leave for a couple hours.
Pull up cinnamon packet by string and press gently against side of pot with ladel, if you feel the cinnamon easily crush withdraw packet, if not put back and repeat every 30 mins until it does give.
Give a stir and remove entirely from heat.
Keep covered and allow to cool to nearly room temp, stirring with ladle occasionally.
  DO NOT PROCEED WITH CIDER THAT IS STILL STEAMING! ALCOHOL WILL EVAPORATE AND REDUCE POTENCY AT BEST OR COULD EXPLODE!!!!
Add Everclear and stir thoroughly.
Ladle contents back into original bottles or mason jars, seal, and allow to cool in refrigerator overnight. Get as cold as possible without actually freezing. Makes a nice shooter, but be ye warned! It's nearly without burn and is quite potent.

This became a basis for the much more mild Golden Apple Potion after a few hard lessons learned. Hope folks enjoy!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

While experimenting with gin for the perfect holiday drink, Alty came up with something amazing.

The Sweet Pickletini:

3 parts gin
2 parts vermouth
Generous splash sweet gherkin juice
Shake vigorously with ice
Strain into martini glass
Garnish with gherkin

If desired, add a dash of fish sauce. This might sound weird, but balanced against the spicy undertones of the sweet pickle seasoning, which usually contains mustard seed, turmeric, and garlic, the salty umami of the fish sauce brings out a sort of cold Asian-salad refreshing flavor.

[Freeky]

1 lb of fine buckwheat(dark) honey

I have only ever seen orange blossom, clover, wild flower and mesquite honeys, which are all light colored.  That's probably a regional thing.

DO NOT PROCEED WITH CIDER THAT IS STILL STEAMING! ALCOHOL WILL EVAPORATE AND REDUCE POTENCY AT BEST OR COULD EXPLODE!!!!

I sense a story behind this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Alty's done it again -

The Spicy Thai Ginger Noodletini:

2 slices of jalapeno, gently muddled
A generous pour of ginger syrup
Juice from 1/4 lime
Vodka

Shake with ice, strain

Garnish with peanut, noodle, cilantro

[Cainad (dec.)]

Alty's done it again -

The Spicy Thai Ginger Noodletini:

2 slices of jalapeno, gently muddled
A generous pour of ginger syrup
Juice from 1/4 lime
Vodka

Shake with ice, strain

Garnish with peanut, noodle, cilantro

 

[Brother Mythos]

General Ripper:

2 parts Pure-Grain Alcohol (190 proof high-test)
1 part Distilled Water, or Rain Water (HEALTH WARNING: Do not substitute Fluoridated Water!)
Shaken, not stirred.


As USAF Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper once asked, “Have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol?”

And further asked, “Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation, fluoridation of water?”