DECLASSIFIED drink recipes by TWJ

[The Wizard Joseph]

Just posted this one in Discordian Society 2015 FB group. Might as well more stably mirror here. I'll add more by and by as those darn FOIA requests come due. Hope all yalls enjoy!


The Wizard Joseph's Golden Apple Potion

Elements of the Operation:
1 Ltr of sour mix
1 Lb of fine clover honey
1 bottle of The Knot 100 proof Irish whiskey
1-5  1 Oz bottles or measured shots of Fireball cinnamon whiskey
Large supply of Manzanita Sol apple soda or other, more authentic, Mexican apple soda equivalent to a 12 pack
1 empty 2 Litr bottle.

Step 1:
In large sauce pan heat sour mix and honey, stirring constantly, until honey is fully  dissolved, DO NOT boil. Allow to cool until no longer steaming by removing from heat and continuing to stir. Pour cooled mixture into 2 Liter bottle and add The Knot and then add Fireball to taste, none is fine. Fireball makes it stronger of alcoholic content and flavor, but cinnamon whiskey is not for everyone. Contents of bottle should be vigorously shaken for aeration proir to serving if you don't have a shaker for step 2

Step 2:
Add solid ice cubes and liquor mix to shaker glass, about 2 oz per serving.
Add about 3-4 oz apple soda per serving, cap and shake vigorously for about 8 seconds while holding cap down firmly.

Set down shaker on table and ease pressure off the cap, cap should pop off gently and readily or you used too much or too little soda respectively.

Pour into Collins glass over hollowed bar ice or solid cubes, NOT crushed ice.

Recipe serves appx 24-30 people. At full "5x cin strength" each is about a shot or beer and a half by alcoholic content, but the honey seems to speed alcohol uptake. Best to savor, but should not rough the stomach if you desire a bender unless you are sensitive to cinnamon.

Makes for a happy, giggly drunk and honey taste lingers on lips.

You're welcome! 

[LMNO]

We do not have the same palate for cocktails, obviously.

[The Wizard Joseph]

We do not have the same palate for cocktails, obviously.

All testers have so far approved. A few folks have asked me to make it for their parties or in one case a gaming convention. This is the first time I've made the recipe public.


I like it fine, but I personally prefer to just drink a few oz of The Knot with a tiny bit of ice or a solid cube. 3 or 4 in a couple hours usually has me good for the night. 

So what IS your flavor then LMNO?

[LMNO]

Four ounces of Rye. One ounce of Italian Rossi vermouth. Bitters. Ice.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Four ounces of Rye. One ounce of Italian Rossi vermouth. Bitters. Ice.

Have to try it sometime! Sounds like a hammer to the head, and I like a strong drink!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Grapefruit Shandy:

2/3 American lager (Rainier is the best for this)
1/3 pink grapefruit juice

Serve ice cold.

Drink all night, you basically can't get fucked up from this.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Grapefruit Shandy:

2/3 American lager (Rainier is the best for this)
1/3 pink grapefruit juice

Serve ice cold.

Drink all night, you basically can't get fucked up from this.

I've had a few bottled lemon shandy drinks, but will have to make me some of this.

[Dubya]

Grapefruit Shandy:

2/3 American lager (Rainier is the best for this)
1/3 pink grapefruit juice

Serve ice cold.

Drink all night, you basically can't get fucked up from this.

Reminds me of what a couple of friends of mine used to drink when they wanted to party in the middle of the week and still be able to get to work the next day:

3 parts lager
1 part Gatorade
Ratio adjusted based on tolerance, taste. Idea being to cure the hangover before you get it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Grapefruit Shandy:

2/3 American lager (Rainier is the best for this)
1/3 pink grapefruit juice

Serve ice cold.

Drink all night, you basically can't get fucked up from this.

Reminds me of what a couple of friends of mine used to drink when they wanted to party in the middle of the week and still be able to get to work the next day:

3 parts lager
1 part Gatorade
Ratio adjusted based on tolerance, taste. Idea being to cure the hangover before you get it.

Also good for that is the Sunny Hamosa, which is 2/3 Hamms and 1/3 Sunny Delight.

And, of course, any iteration of the michelada.

[Cainad (dec.)]

1) Eater of Clowns
2) some cash
3) package store
4) Drink the Budweiser Clamato Chelada. Drink it, you fucking worm.



Also, THE CAINAD SPECIAL:

1) Johnny Walker Black label
2) Glass

This has less to do with my palette and more to do with not bothering to maintain a properly stocked booze supply.

[Eater of Clowns]

1) Eater of Clowns
2) some cash
3) package store
4) Drink the Budweiser Clamato Chelada. Drink it, you fucking worm.



Also, THE CAINAD SPECIAL:

1) Johnny Walker Black label
2) Glass

This has less to do with my palette and more to do with not bothering to maintain a properly stocked booze supply.

Results may vary.

I maintain that drinking it while hanging out with Alty at a lake in Alaska while a bald eagle flew overhead was the most American thing that has ever happened to me.

[LMNO]

And, of course, any iteration of the michelada.

I had a great one the other day... lime juice, Worcestershire Sauce, hot sauce, splash of tequila, beer.  It was more like a cocktail. 

Though the recipe that uses tomato juice is pretty good.

[The Wizard Joseph]

1) Eater of Clowns
2) some cash
3) package store
4) Drink the Budweiser Clamato Chelada. Drink it, you fucking worm.



Also, THE CAINAD SPECIAL:

1) Johnny Walker Black label
2) Glass

This has less to do with my palette and more to do with not bothering to maintain a properly stocked booze supply.

Results may vary.

I maintain that drinking it while hanging out with Alty at a lake in Alaska while a bald eagle flew overhead was the most American thing that has ever happened to me.

 

Except that I would rather bring the kind of violence that gets you a private room for life than drink clamato ANYTHING.

[LMNO]

The Budweiser Clamato Chelada abomination was from a Discordian Meatup a few years ago.  About a dozen or so of them met in CT and stayed the weekend in a house.  Amazingly, everyone survived.


There's a thread somewhere that tells the tale.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I'm fond of the golden apple theme. This one's not really all that special and WILL probably make you puke if you try to binge on them. It's simple and a delightful desert or refreshment.

The Golden Boiler Bomb

Take 1 large glass (pint or larger, schooner preferably) of hard apple cider, I prefer Strongbow, and fill reserving the last 2 inches or so from the lip. Fill slowly pouring onto inner side of glass at a gentle angle to preserve as much carbonation in the liquid as possible. Agitate bottle of Goldschlager to aerate and distribute gold flakes. Pour Goldschlager into GLASS shotglass. Hold shotglass about 3 inches above center of the cider and drop in. The glass dropping mixes the brew and also releases carbonation that floats the gold flakes to the top of the beverage. It's pretty, refreshing, and tastes like apple pie.

The Budweiser Clamato Chelada abomination was from a Discordian Meatup a few years ago.  About a dozen or so of them met in CT and stayed the weekend in a house.  Amazingly, everyone survived.


There's a thread somewhere that tells the tale.

Wow! Freedom of speech and assembly are awesome, but I wonder how the founders would have felt had they known the ultimate consequences and been made to drink that. Glad nobody died.