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Don't forget, this Wednesday is Mainstream Day.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM
As you all know, October 28th has been celebrated by Discordians since 2015 as a day to take a break from all this shit.  You can relax and be normal for 24 hours.  As your Holy Man™, it is my duty to assist you in this, so here are your assignments.

LMNO - You will go - alone - to a sports bar after work and watch a game of something.  Football, maybe.  You will chat with the bartender about the trivialities of your life, ignoring the hatred in his eyes as yet another small part of him dies.

Queen Gogira - You will spend all day talking about your projects, but not actually work on any of them.  Discuss with your significant other the advantages of owning a minivan.

Nigel - You will be white all day long.  And not Orkadian, either, that shit is weird.  Your ancestors for the day all came from the English Midlands.  If you must slice brains, wince all the time and discuss with others how you'd really rather be at Starbucks, drinking a nice Pumpkin Spice Latte.  With skim milk.

Paesor - You will stand right side up and make fun of British people, Australians, and of course Americans.

Senora Paesor - Yoga pants.  No superhero tee shirts.  Ugh boots.  Pick a side in the abortion debate and fly right off the handle.

Cain - You will spend the day accepting the fact that Western civilization isn't in any way responsible for how those horrible people in Middle Eastern nations live or how they behave.  They're just naturally terrorists, and always have been.  Consider being a Tory.

ECH - You will spend all day talking shit, but if anyone gets upset, get all passive-aggressive and remark that you were "just saying".  When they leave, explain to everyone how you were this close to kicking their asses.

The Wizard Joseph - You will not shave on Wednesday, and explain to everyone that you're growing a beard to demonstrate your independence.  You will drink deliberately shitty beer and claim that it's just as good as the expensive stuff that poseurs drink.

Muenster - You will listen to Metallica.  All of it.  Argue with those around you as to the merits of old Metallica vs new Metallica.  Also insist that anyone who listens to pre-1990 Aerosmith is a complete philistine.

Cainad -  You will wear a ball cap, jeans, and talk endlessly about economics, blissfully ignoring the fact that you are not an economist.  If anyone talks about politics, you're thinking you're an "independent", but you find you simply must vote republican this time around because Sanders is too radical and Hillary personally killed those diplomats in Benghazi.

TheWake - You just keep doing your thing, man.

Richter - You will spend the afternoon and evening on the couch, playing video games until your eyes bleed.  Nothing will be sharpened, and you will respond with grunts to anything anyone in the house has to say. 

Waffle - I'm at a loss, here.  I don't know if Norway has a mainstream.  Act German or something. 

If I've forgotten any active members, pipe up and I'll hand you something suitably beige.



" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Meunster

#1
October 25, 2015, 04:29:44 PM
QuoteMuenster - You will listen to Metallica.  All of it.  Argue with those around you as to the merits of old Metallica vs new Metallica.  Also insist that anyone who listens to pre-1990 Aerosmith is a complete philistine.

b-but I don't want to be 13 again.
Poe's law ;)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
October 25, 2015, 05:59:58 PM
 :horrormirth:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

thewake

#3
October 25, 2015, 07:31:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM

TheWake - You just keep doing your thing, man.

Good, I'm thankful none of this bullshit gets in the way of my masturbation habits.
"It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull."
--H. L. Mencken

Cain

#4
October 25, 2015, 09:05:58 PM
I've decided I can better represent the current paradigm by punching a Free Tibet supporter in the face then getting a Chinese takeaway on Wednesday.

East Coast Hustle

#5
October 26, 2015, 12:02:18 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM
ECH - You will spend all day talking shit, but if anyone gets upset, get all passive-aggressive and remark that you were "just saying".  When they leave, explain to everyone how you were this close to kicking their asses.


Naturally, I'm going to need an Ed Hardy shirt and a Tapout hat worn backwards to pull this off convincingly.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
October 26, 2015, 12:22:52 AM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on October 26, 2015, 12:02:18 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM
ECH - You will spend all day talking shit, but if anyone gets upset, get all passive-aggressive and remark that you were "just saying".  When they leave, explain to everyone how you were this close to kicking their asses.


Naturally, I'm going to need an Ed Hardy shirt and a Tapout hat worn backwards to pull this off convincingly.

I would expect nothing less.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

#7
October 26, 2015, 05:09:08 AM
 :argh!: I suppose I am to ea4 the cheetos and drink of mountainmdew as well.

I may explode, or sharpen a game console
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

EK WAFFLR

#8
October 26, 2015, 11:32:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM
Waffle - I'm at a loss, here.  I don't know if Norway has a mainstream.  Act German or something. 

ZIS IS UNANNEHMBAR
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
October 26, 2015, 02:50:15 PM
Quote from: Richter on October 26, 2015, 05:09:08 AM
:argh!: I suppose I am to ea4 the cheetos and drink of mountainmdew as well.

I may explode, or sharpen a game console

NO sharpening.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
October 26, 2015, 02:53:29 PM
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on October 26, 2015, 11:32:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 25, 2015, 08:15:32 AM
Waffle - I'm at a loss, here.  I don't know if Norway has a mainstream.  Act German or something. 

ZIS IS UNANNEHMBAR

Wenn Sie in meinem Ort parken will ich euch in den Kopf stechen.   :)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

#11
October 26, 2015, 02:57:35 PM
Great, now I have to buy a ball cap. And I think all my jeans have giant tears in the ass...

Do I have to ditch the mutton chops too? :cry:

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
October 26, 2015, 03:19:39 PM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on October 26, 2015, 02:57:35 PM
Great, now I have to buy a ball cap. And I think all my jeans have giant tears in the ass...

Do I have to ditch the mutton chops too? :cry:

Naw.  No changes are required that can't be changed back on Thursday.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

trippinprincezz13

#13
October 26, 2015, 04:12:00 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: I love it
There's no sun shine coming through her ass, if you are sure of your penis.

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you, may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution.

If there is no order in your sexual life it may be difficult to stay with a whole skin.

LMNO

#14
October 26, 2015, 04:34:40 PM
SO. DAMN.NORMAL.


And it'll probably be the World Series.  Like, whatever.
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