PI with Malice Aforethought: LMNO

[The Good Reverend Roger]

They changed the plaque on the statue of liberty, I believe that has been explained.  To those of you who haven't seen it, it now simply states Yeah, right, whatever, come on it.  But SHUT UP.  We don't want to hear it.

Almost nobody agreed with the founding of the DHS, you see, but damn near EVERYONE agreed on the founding of the Federal Bureau of Silence.  And the man picked to run it was tailor-made for the job.  SHUT UP AND DRINK.  SHUT UP AND DANCE.  SHAKE THAT, BUT SHUT IT.  THIS IS A PARTY, NOT A DEBATE CLUB.

LMNO knows what we all want.  A chance to think.  A moment to catch our breath.  But we can't do that if we're TALKING, so shush.  Save your complaints and your songs and your ranting and raving and gossip and screams for help for another time, okay?  Or go up to Canada, where there's nobody to hear you.

Or else.

Because you WON'T hear jackboots on the stairs, oh my, no.  LMNO's men wear slippers, and they have their truncheons leather-jacketed.  A horrible beating and a cattlecar is in your immediate future, but there's no need to wake the neighbors, yes?

This is how it's got to be.  This is what we made necessary with our bleating and our partisanship and our FAIL.  This is what we demanded, this is what the new century is all about.  Shush.  Just shut up.  There'll be no babbling in the camps, because your fucking mouth is sewn shut.  Because you HAD to tell us WHAT.  You HAD to bitch and carry on.  You just COULDN'T restrain yourself and that song came right out of you.

LMNO is here to shove it back in.

And there isn't a man, woman, or child in America who will say shit about it.  Because we LIKE the quiet.  We learned.  Also, if they DO say anything, why, there's always an extra steel bunk in the camp, isn't there.

The only bad part of this is that LMNO and his thugs ("Team Vodka") dance while they beat you.  There's no music, but they dance.  It's not a nice dance.  No.  But it's still a dance, and that means artistic expression is NOT being suppressed, it's just being regulated.  Made a little less threatening.

And he GRINS.  It's friendly, it makes government look accessible.  You'll love it. 

We all do.

[LMNO]

Hehehehe...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

AUGH! 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Team Vodka is not as nice as I imagined them.

[LMNO]

That's because you're not serious about having a good time.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

They changed the plaque on the statue of liberty, I believe that has been explained.  To those of you who haven't seen it, it now simply states Yeah, right, whatever, come on it.  But SHUT UP.  We don't want to hear it.

Almost nobody agreed with the founding of the DHS, you see, but damn near EVERYONE agreed on the founding of the Federal Bureau of Silence.  And the man picked to run it was tailor-made for the job.  SHUT UP AND DRINK.  SHUT UP AND DANCE.  SHAKE THAT, BUT SHUT IT.  THIS IS A PARTY, NOT A DEBATE CLUB.

LMNO knows what we all want.  A chance to think.  A moment to catch our breath.  But we can't do that if we're TALKING, so shush.  Save your complaints and your songs and your ranting and raving and gossip and screams for help for another time, okay?  Or go up to Canada, where there's nobody to hear you.

Or else.

Because you WON'T hear jackboots on the stairs, oh my, no.  LMNO's men wear slippers, and they have their truncheons leather-jacketed.  A horrible beating and a cattlecar is in your immediate future, but there's no need to wake the neighbors, yes?

This is how it's got to be.  This is what we made necessary with our bleating and our partisanship and our FAIL.  This is what we demanded, this is what the new century is all about.  Shush.  Just shut up.  There'll be no babbling in the camps, because your fucking mouth is sewn shut.  Because you HAD to tell us WHAT.  You HAD to bitch and carry on.  You just COULDN'T restrain yourself and that song came right out of you.

LMNO is here to shove it back in.

And there isn't a man, woman, or child in America who will say shit about it.  Because we LIKE the quiet.  We learned.  Also, if they DO say anything, why, there's always an extra steel bunk in the camp, isn't there.

The only bad part of this is that LMNO and his thugs ("Team Vodka") dance while they beat you.  There's no music, but they dance.  It's not a nice dance.  No.  But it's still a dance, and that means artistic expression is NOT being suppressed, it's just being regulated.  Made a little less threatening.

And he GRINS.  It's friendly, it makes government look accessible.  You'll love it. 

We all do.

   

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Team Vodka is not as nice as I imagined them.

They smile at you, as if to say "it's going to be okay."

But they won't say it.  Because shush.  It's time to dance.

[LMNO]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

No I don't.

I'm kinda dumb.  And I get bored easy. 

Ask Nigel how I drive a jeep.  Ask her.  She's experienced it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

No I don't.

I'm kinda dumb.  And I get bored easy. 

Ask Nigel how I drive a jeep.  Ask her.  She's experienced it.

It's been 2 years to the day since I said this, and Nigel still hasn't answered.

That's FEAR.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

No I don't.

I'm kinda dumb.  And I get bored easy. 

Ask Nigel how I drive a jeep.  Ask her.  She's experienced it.

It's been 2 years to the day since I said this, and Nigel still hasn't answered.

That's FEAR.

Also, all I can remember is laughing nonstop and drinking bourbon while my then-boyfriend white-knuckled the grab handle.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

No I don't.

I'm kinda dumb.  And I get bored easy. 

Ask Nigel how I drive a jeep.  Ask her.  She's experienced it.

It's been 2 years to the day since I said this, and Nigel still hasn't answered.

That's FEAR.

Also, all I can remember is laughing nonstop and drinking bourbon while my then-boyfriend white-knuckled the grab handle.

He wasn't committed to Sparkle Motion.  I could sense it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Unless Tashie gives you side-eye.



Then you fucking RUN.

No I don't.

I'm kinda dumb.  And I get bored easy. 

Ask Nigel how I drive a jeep.  Ask her.  She's experienced it.

It's been 2 years to the day since I said this, and Nigel still hasn't answered.

That's FEAR.

Also, all I can remember is laughing nonstop and drinking bourbon while my then-boyfriend white-knuckled the grab handle.

He wasn't committed to Sparkle Motion.  I could sense it.

I think it's hard to be committed to Sparkle Motion when you're already dead. I mean, Donnie Darko taught us that lesson.