Goddammit.  Another truckload of bees.

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The Infinity Burial Suit Techmology

Started by Brother Mythos, February 10, 2016, 03:38:52 AM

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Brother Mythos

Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.


One step away from Last Of Us style apocalypse
Sleepless nights at the chateau


[Insert obligatory "fun guy" joke here.]

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

That's great, EOT will love this. He's really into green burial alternatives.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Is this faster than dissolving the body in acid?
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

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Brother Mythos

Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 13, 2016, 02:23:53 AM
Is this faster than dissolving the body in acid?

I don't think Victor "The Cleaner" will be adding this to his in situ disposal supplies inventory, if that's where you're going with this.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.


I like this.  Being turned into toxic waste after I die is something I was rather dreading, even if I won't be around to worry about it at the time.  It's the embalming that does it.

Brother Mythos

There's now a more traditional alternative to the eco-friendly Mushroom Burial Suit.

"The Mushroom Coffin That'll Deliver Remains To Nature In Barely Any Time At All"

As per the article:

"A Dutch intrepid inventor is now "growing" coffins by putting mycelium, the root structure of mushrooms, together with hemp fiber in a special mold that, in a week, turns into what could basically be compared to the looks of an unpainted Egyptian sarcophagus.

And while traditional wooden coffins come from trees that can take decades to grow and years to break down in the soil, the mushroom versions biodegrade and deliver the remains to nature in barely a month and a half."

So, you too can now become compost in a more traditional way.

Here's the link:
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

It appears the natural (green) burial trend is upsetting some people in flyover country.

"Idaho Lawmaker Moves To Ban Non-Consensual Cannibalism"

As per this article:

"A Republican lawmaker in Idaho introduced a bill on Thursday meant to expand the state's cannibalism law to make it illegal to feed people to other people who don't know they're eating people.
Rep. Heather Scott, R-Blanchard, explained that she had heard about this whole human composting thing that's been legalized in several states in the last few years and became very concerned about the possibility of this leading to people being served "the flesh or blood of a human being" without their "knowledge or consent."

"I didn't want to see that in my Home Depot stores," Scott said, assuming that this would actually mean she could go to the hardware store and pick up a bag full of wood-chipped human flesh to spread around her backyard garden."

Actually, now that I've thought about it, I'm not too crazy about consensual cannibalism either.

Here's the link to the article:      Proposed Expansion of Idaho's Cannibalism Law
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

I'm not enthusiastic about this "approved" alternative burial method.

"Human composting as alternative to burial and cremation gets final approval by Delaware lawmakers"

As per this article:

"Senate sponsor Laura Sturgeon said natural organic reduction is a "sophisticated process" that uses cutting-edge technology and engineering to accelerate the process of turning a human body into soil.

"This choice may not be for everyone, but we can respect those who wish to turn their bodies into soil by allowing this sustainable death care option to be available in Delaware," Sturgeon said.

If the bill is enacted into law, state officials would have up to a year to develop specific regulations.

The organic reduction process involves putting a body into a large tank that also holds straw, wood chips or other natural materials for about 30 days. The human remains and organic materials would mix with warm air and be periodically turned until the body is reduced to a soil-like material that can then be given to the dead person's family."

Actually, this "approved" burial method creeps me out. It strikes me as being way to close to what I'd expect to happen in a Soylent Green Processing Facility. But, that's just me.

Here's the link to this article:      One Step Closer to Soylent Green?
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.