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Open Bar: We're going to build a bar, and make the drinks pay for it!

Started by Cain, March 04, 2016, 04:52:44 PM

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Cain

It's my preferred discipline tool.  Alongside a stern look of disaproval, [disgusted noise] and the foot long steel torch I carry everywhere.

The Wizard Joseph

So I haven't gotten at all caught up on this thread or the rest of the Forum just yet. Probably will by tomorrow, Monday @ latest. It's been a long painful series of personal experiences and no small number of joys since I got home. I lost a very good friend to their own folly. They were speaking of me in a very unacceptable fashion to somebody who was a complete stranger to me and just a source of income to them, other drama in plenty with sleep scarce.

I want to do this following story and a prelude as audio performances when I open a thread, but here's what I have so far for a thing.

I will focus on my actual personal story as I said, but this was lighter and reflects part of how I see PD these days but have left unexpressed previous to writing this.

Love you guys.

FERNANDO POO NEVER CORRECT THE DON WHEN HE SPEAKS TO ME. HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS! I recall seeing you defend me or something earlier. With respect please do not with Don Coyote. Thanks!

And now a bit of tall tale :)

As had ever been his custom Don Coyote was a gentleman first even as he had dragged his withered, wizened body and old nag of clear noble breeding and even in advanced age fine bearing and health that any who dared share close quarters with the Don came to swiftly presume that he did not himself haven, slowly uphill one measured step at a time. Indeed his sickness was of mind and body most terrible. I had my guesses as to the foul creature that had so stricken his flesh, but manners and wisdom enough to not pry at a gentleman unoffered. His mind I shall make no guesses of, but pain and madness linger in a manner that requires no guessing to those that know it's touch well. And so when I say that I watched in awe as he laboured to climb that great hill in the gloom to the high ground of a reasonably gradual but tall hill inland from our ragged, impromptu shoreline encampment, leading his horse seemingly to simply spare it's sturdy but mildly arthritic joints know that my admiration for his sheer grace and grit was secondary to my eye upon a dangerous quantity of unguessable but likely benign intent.

You never can tell with a madman, less so one of true heart and lifelong discipline. I have never seen the Don so much as place an angry hand upon the tellingly smooth pommel or polished but mildly battered  scabbard of his cavalier's sword no matter how angered or confused his illnesses made him, though to slyly support his bad hip while standing at attention tis common and I think none but I have noticed. Surely I need no answer from any but the scarred lips beneath the tarnish-blackened, strangely pitted, but masterfully wrought, silver fox mask that was his proud helm's visor. Those lips, and eyes were all any but our poor ship's doctor had ever seen, may she still be safe! I had no doubt that the blade in that scabbard was as well treated as his horse, as a beloved companion. He had my esteem and we had on occasion shared with each other in good song idle time aboard our ill fated, mutually-beloved ship. I'd go join him if he was up there too long, but in the strange perpetual darkness of this place I didn't see much point in finding a vantage when the fire was still burning down here by the shore. A lot of it was scrap from the wreckage, smaller pieces now dry enough, other big ones nearby for heat to use as found cured enough. Smoke seemed quite undesirable. The air in this place was already thick enough and the smell could carry far in the damn wind.

I had long turned to the fire and other survivors and left him to his climb. He'd said he sought a better vantage of this strange land of unending and unnatural gloom that the good ship PD, what remained intact, had finally been run aground upon after weeks of storm and tragedy had finally cracked her spine. Few enough of us now stood before the small and damp fire since lit by those able, myself among them. Several were military men of former or current status, in my bitterness I gave myself to the macabre laughter of a particularly horrible joke from the mad-eyed old "Good Reverend". I ventured to further the joke in my careless need for anything to laugh at but myself and ignore the unknown status of several crew members. I let myself go and found no need to stop my full-body laughter until my ear picked up a shrill wail on the wind very different from any sound I had ever heard from a human before. I reached for my stick, just a very solid piece of broken oar handle really, but straight, true, tall as I and pointed, if bluntly.

To all my senses it was not a human I expected to see until I fixed in and saw the faint light gleaming from the Don's helm... and something else, his blade was drawn and high above him flashing in a circle of challenge, he atop his mount!! My first thought was that he was beset before I FELT his eyes on me and his wails coalesced into unsettling resonant words in shrill voice carried by this foul place's devil-hot winds.

And thus cried Don Coyote,

GIANT!!     KNAVE!!!

I HEAR YOUR FOUL GIANT'S LAUGHTER!!!
DO YOU NOT SEE MY STEEL WIZARD?!

THIS BLADE IS THE DOOM OF ALL GIANTS!!
I HAVE LONG SMELLED THEIR FOUL BLOOD IN YOU!
I HAVE HEARD THEIR CRAVEN SOUL IN YOUR WICKED *cough, cough (protracted)*
YOUR WICKED LAUGHTER!!!!! (sudden deep voiced RAGE)

I KNOW NOW WHY YOU ARE SO WELL FED!! SO WICKED AS TO JOKE AT THE BLOOD OF HEROES!! FOUL GIANT'S BASTARD! THERE WILL BE ONLY COWARD'S BLOOD UPON THE FIELD THIS DAY! NOW STAND ASIDE FROM THOSE GOOD PEOPLE AND FACE YOUR DOOM FOOL!!

Clearly he was stark, raving mad as they say. I was ashamed but only for giving in to my nature for mere comfort and reaping such danger for all only. The Don had seen and heard me too well. I could do nothing else but stand aside from the company, eyes now never to leave the old man on the hill above me again until this was resolved.

To my horror as soon as I cleared the group and stood alone my somewhat fragile and greatly esteemed sometime shipmate blew some sort of horn and his brave horse immediately tilted in charge down the hill towards me at a speed born of madness, superb training,  and the slope of the hill.

I did the only reasonable thing as I stood there sizing up my chances against a full light cavalry charge on foot with a stick, and shat myself.

*to be continued*
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Junkenstein

Quote from: Cain on July 01, 2016, 02:45:29 AM
It's my preferred discipline tool.  Alongside a stern look of disaproval, [disgusted noise] and the foot long steel torch I carry everywhere.

Drop the first two,increase the size of the third and remove the "torch" aspect.

It's much more fun.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Cain

If only.  I might hurt more than someone's feelings.

A student put in a complaint about me yesterday, for putting a note under his door.  The dishes had been dirty, in the sink for 5 days.  The manager said if it wasn't done by the morning then he'd be fining everyone using that kitchen.  I was doing you a favour, you snot-nosed brat.

Suu

Big ass Maglite? Husband has one for work. He calls it his pimp cane. I don't ask questions.

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Junkenstein

There's a lesson there.

On a slightly different note, is anyone in touch with Nigel/ally on facebook or something? Not seen anything new for ages about them so I hope they're doing OK.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Junkenstein on July 01, 2016, 06:20:33 PM
There's a lesson there.

On a slightly different note, is anyone in touch with Nigel/ally on facebook or something? Not seen anything new for ages about them so I hope they're doing OK.

I saw her post in one of Cordelia's threads a couple of days ago.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Trivial

Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 11:06:49 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 09:58:46 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 08:30:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 06:41:03 PM
It's fun.  You can sit in an office for 12 and 1/2 hours a day, and look at paperwork filled in by people who think formatting, punctuation and spelling are optional extras.

Almost thought you worked where I did. Replace "paperwork" with "Emails and Request tickets" and you've got my job to a T.

We also have to deal with 150+ foreign students, complaining about pretty much everything under the sun.

Try 1000+ foreign, 1st generation Call Center associates, mostly from India.

Contrary to the stereotype, the level 1 associates in India are not all computer technical geniuses. Most of them don't know how to login to the computer for the first few months. Not that that's their fault or anything. They are a developing country. ANYWAYS, language barriers are FUN.

(Also, I think our call quality monitoring department decided to fuck with us by making it mandatory to pronounce and use the caller's name in every call to make it more personal.)

Have you done the needful?
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Junkenstein on July 01, 2016, 06:20:33 PM
There's a lesson there.

On a slightly different note, is anyone in touch with Nigel/ally on facebook or something? Not seen anything new for ages about them so I hope they're doing OK.

They both seem to be keeping it together.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 01, 2016, 10:28:24 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on July 01, 2016, 06:20:33 PM
There's a lesson there.

On a slightly different note, is anyone in touch with Nigel/ally on facebook or something? Not seen anything new for ages about them so I hope they're doing OK.

They both seem to be keeping it together.

Agree. You should see the size of the fork pile!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Freeky


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Junkenstein on July 01, 2016, 07:06:04 PM
Well that's good. How's your ballache going?

Same.  I don't expect shenanigans for at least two weeks, plus I have been sneaky.  I'll post details later.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

POFP

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on July 01, 2016, 09:45:22 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 11:06:49 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 09:58:46 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 08:30:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 06:41:03 PM
It's fun.  You can sit in an office for 12 and 1/2 hours a day, and look at paperwork filled in by people who think formatting, punctuation and spelling are optional extras.

Almost thought you worked where I did. Replace "paperwork" with "Emails and Request tickets" and you've got my job to a T.

We also have to deal with 150+ foreign students, complaining about pretty much everything under the sun.

Try 1000+ foreign, 1st generation Call Center associates, mostly from India.

Contrary to the stereotype, the level 1 associates in India are not all computer technical geniuses. Most of them don't know how to login to the computer for the first few months. Not that that's their fault or anything. They are a developing country. ANYWAYS, language barriers are FUN.

(Also, I think our call quality monitoring department decided to fuck with us by making it mandatory to pronounce and use the caller's name in every call to make it more personal.)

Have you done the needful?

Oh my Fucking god  :lulz:  :lulz:

I did not expect that.
This Certified Popeā„¢ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Trivial

Quote from: Fernando Poo on July 02, 2016, 03:08:39 AM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on July 01, 2016, 09:45:22 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 11:06:49 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 09:58:46 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on June 30, 2016, 08:30:32 PM
Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2016, 06:41:03 PM
It's fun.  You can sit in an office for 12 and 1/2 hours a day, and look at paperwork filled in by people who think formatting, punctuation and spelling are optional extras.

Almost thought you worked where I did. Replace "paperwork" with "Emails and Request tickets" and you've got my job to a T.

We also have to deal with 150+ foreign students, complaining about pretty much everything under the sun.

Try 1000+ foreign, 1st generation Call Center associates, mostly from India.

Contrary to the stereotype, the level 1 associates in India are not all computer technical geniuses. Most of them don't know how to login to the computer for the first few months. Not that that's their fault or anything. They are a developing country. ANYWAYS, language barriers are FUN.

(Also, I think our call quality monitoring department decided to fuck with us by making it mandatory to pronounce and use the caller's name in every call to make it more personal.)

Have you done the needful?

Oh my Fucking god  :lulz:  :lulz:

I did not expect that.

Do you require a small help?
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.