Apparently, only I’Itoi is allowed to shit in his toilet. And I am to stop spelling his name wrong. This is what He told me…Or, perhaps, what Merck told me via heroic doses of Lorazapam. I spend a lot of time down at the lake, 1039 feet below my office. My Odham employees just shake their heads. Another white boy who made the mistake of listening to a God with a 400 year grudge, going all to pieces.
But why not? Listening to white folks hasn’t exactly been good for me. They snarl and they babble and they say nothing at all, while my blood pressure makes my eyes bulge out. They put small bombs in Target bathrooms, which is totally not terrorism, but – as stated by two different news outlets – a “criticism”.
This is the church, this is the steeple, get out of line and we’ll kill all of You People.
They argue over whether it’s better to elect an outright Nazi to the office of the presidency, if that’s what it takes to show how upset they are that democracy means the winner is selected by the MOST votes, not THEIR vote. Their sense of exceptionalism has been offended, and they can’t even blame a brown person (but they will anyway).
Gods have never understood why people get SO upset when they are given what they ask for. This is to them both puzzling and offensive, and is exactly why they hardly ever answer the phone anymore.
I’Itoi, however, is a “big brother” god, not an “all father” god. He understands that we’re going through a phase, and that we’ll get over it in another hundred thousand years or so. Even if he is selfish about his bathroom. But then again, so was MY brother when we were teenagers. Even after what we did to his people, he doesn’t want to destroy us. He just wants to fuck us up real bad.
Interstellar travel research is smiled upon. Get in your rocket ships and go away, whitey. Then one day, WE will come looking for YOU. Father Kino? Who the fuck was HE?
I am all about this. I am all about a god that brays his laughter in your face when you’re dumb enough to believe him. I am NOT claiming to be a shaman or anything like that; I am unqualified for many reasons, the least of which being that I know almost nothing about Odham culture or religion. Nor would I want to be one if I could. But if he’s going to hand out bad advice and prophecies of doom, who the fuck am I to “close my ears”? I remember how Moses wound up.
Besides, this is more of a Book of Job thing. I walk upon the Earth and about it. I am The Good Reverend Roger, and if you see me coming, bubba, you better run.
Or Kill Me.
