Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hi guys.

Hey, Dethwaffle!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

John Glenn died.

Thanks, 2016.   

[Junkenstein]

John Glenn died.

Thanks, 2016.   

It's more impressive to look at who's still alive. There must be a few pod people you've not told me about.

Hey waffle, how's your weather? Roger may have you beat.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I wish my calendar would quit trying to video call me.

Maybe it wants to date?

It should have noticed that I shared it with Alty, which might tip-off a sentient calendar that I'm taken.

It didn't care. The Gregorian Calendar is a notorious douchebag.

I should have known better than to give it access to my email account.

[Bu🤠ns]

So I'd like to get my boy who is all Metal with a heart of gold a distortion pedal.  i also need to get him an amp but i think my range on an amp plus a pedal will need to stay under $100.

I was looking at the Boss MT2 Metal Zone and the Boss DS-1. The Boss MT2 Metal Zone is pretty much full on Metal. The Boss DS-1 seems to have that good all around distortion.  It also seems very suitable for classic rock.

I can't decide which. I know for me i'd go with the DS-1 but he would probably say he'd want the Metal Zone. The thing is, as a budding musician, which would provide more versatility?  That kind of thing I'm lost on...also because i don't really know pedals for shit.  I had an old skinny yellow mxr...i forget the model but it never seemed to match the distortion sound i wanted. .. anyway ...advice? 

[East Coast Hustle]

Metal Zone is a pretty decent pedal. And you can always turn the effects knobs down if you want less juice, can't turn it up if you get him the weaker distortion pedal. The great thing about Boss stuff is that it's virtually indestructible. I've known several musicians who would take their pedal effects and swap all of them into the shells of old Boss pedals. Good stuff.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

I thought I was being clever by taking the train instead of the bus this morning. Four and a half hours later, I'm at work. I could have driven from Portland to Seattle in the time that it took me to cross town. Thanks a lot, Obama!

Addendum: As a result, I missed training for a new case this morning. I was told to sit with someone and get caught up. I asked the dude who's name I recognized from email threads, but he had someone else who came in late this morning sitting with him. Then I asked the cute young one on the team. She said cool, but then asked me "wait...why did you choose me? jw..." I had to scramble to come up with a reason that was not "ummm...because the halo effect." I'm hoping that exonerates me 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I thought I was being clever by taking the train instead of the bus this morning. Four and a half hours later, I'm at work. I could have driven from Portland to Seattle in the time that it took me to cross town. Thanks a lot, Obama!

I got up early to take Ophelia to school and go to my lab meeting, but to my great joy everything is cancelled.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

I thought I was being clever by taking the train instead of the bus this morning. Four and a half hours later, I'm at work. I could have driven from Portland to Seattle in the time that it took me to cross town. Thanks a lot, Obama!

I got up early to take Ophelia to school and go to my lab meeting, but to my great joy everything is cancelled.

Such a relief. I'm actually regretting not packing it in the minute the train stalled out. Or before then, when I was waiting 45 minutes for it to come in the first place. Or just after then, when the driver of the only bus line that was still going over the hills fell on the ice and had to be replaced. Or...when I was at the front door of my building and realizing I still had to make it BACK in a few hours.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I thought I was being clever by taking the train instead of the bus this morning. Four and a half hours later, I'm at work. I could have driven from Portland to Seattle in the time that it took me to cross town. Thanks a lot, Obama!

I got up early to take Ophelia to school and go to my lab meeting, but to my great joy everything is cancelled.

Such a relief. I'm actually regretting not packing it in the minute the train stalled out. Or before then, when I was waiting 45 minutes for it to come in the first place. Or just after then, when the driver of the only bus line that was still going over the hills fell on the ice and had to be replaced. Or...when I was at the front door of my building and realizing I still had to make it BACK in a few hours.

This is one of the many reasons it just makes more sense to cancel everything for a couple of days. The expense of preparing the entire city for a snowfall that will be gone in 48 hours is silly when we can just wait.

[East Coast Hustle]

HAHAHA THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING!

Now my stepdad is in the hospital. Mom's a wreck trying to go to work, visit him twice a day, and keep up the house and take care of the dogs. And I'm still broke from the death trip to Maine and can't fly down to help out.

[East Coast Hustle]

I'm not a religious man, but I'm developing a new appreciation for Job.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

HAHAHA THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING!

Now my stepdad is in the hospital. Mom's a wreck trying to go to work, visit him twice a day, and keep up the house and take care of the dogs. And I'm still broke from the death trip to Maine and can't fly down to help out.

Shit, man. Where are they? That juggling act is no joke.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

I'm awake right now because the ice that made my commutes today (another two and a half hours on the return trip, btw) led to a power outage at the GF's apartments, which led to candles for light, which led to....I hope everyone in the next building over is okay.

My GF is hilariously bad in a crisis situation. I'm all dragging my groggy ass out of bed, slowly lacing my boots, the kids are moving quickly but more-or-less calmly, while she literally runs around in circles screaming, "911! 911! Where are the dogs? Oh my God, Jeremy! There's a fire. 911!"

Damn quick response from the fire department and Portland rain kept the fire from jumping, but the whole top floor of the next building is done. Hope everyone's okay.

[East Coast Hustle]

HAHAHA THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING!

Now my stepdad is in the hospital. Mom's a wreck trying to go to work, visit him twice a day, and keep up the house and take care of the dogs. And I'm still broke from the death trip to Maine and can't fly down to help out.

Shit, man. Where are they? That juggling act is no joke.

Virgin Islands. Otherwise I'd hitchhike.