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Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

Started by Eater of Clowns, August 11, 2016, 12:11:01 AM

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Trivial

Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Had a doctor appointment last Monday. Dealing with some skin conditions, mental futzing, and a strong family history issue emerged that I wanted to see if there was any kind of early detection available for. The doc said there's no way to know for sure, but there some signs that might be able to out on a blood test. Took the blood test.

A week later I got the results. My iron levels are normal, but evidently I have dangerously high levels of Cramulus.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 12, 2016, 10:08:38 PM
HOW is the internet capable of being so boring today? I swear, I was able to find more interesting things on the internet when there was less STUFF on it.

It's comforting that you're having the same experience. I was worried it was just my diminished capacity for enjoyment.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on December 13, 2016, 05:46:04 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 12, 2016, 10:08:38 PM
HOW is the internet capable of being so boring today? I swear, I was able to find more interesting things on the internet when there was less STUFF on it.

It's comforting that you're having the same experience. I was worried it was just my diminished capacity for enjoyment.

I also had some concerns that it might just be the effects of grief and growing older, but it turns out that my internet connection was just badly infested with Cramulus.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Trivial

Some METARs are missing.  I was told a fire, but I'm suspecting cramulus.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

minuspace

Originally, I thought that maybe I could attain to understanding "the eye in the triangle". Then, Cramulus.

Trivial

I should probably tell the national weather service we need the Cramulus codes. 
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Cainad (dec.)

HELp
Northeastern
SW<39.734><-75.781>
NE<47.257><-66.487>
Cabal overRUN

ramulus
Accessed hirley0 pr0tocol 18
C
        Default to MAIN: failed


Communication: "FUCK YUO I AM ORANGES"

          default to MAIN: failed

ramulus count:
48 translations
13 rotations
9 inversions
2 unknow n
C

abstraction cascade: 82.42cram71%
         collapsed, we tried to get them out in time but

          default to MAIN: FAILED

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Salty

I had this assignment in my Health and Stress Management class this term where I had to write letters to people that have made me angry or sad or some other strong negative emotion. I wrote some pretty intense letters to some key people and decided to go ahead and send them. I printed them out to mail them properly, nothing like real paper for a poison pen letter.

When they came out of the printer, every single word was Cramulus.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I had to give a thesis presentation to an audience of peers in order to move forward with my research project. I spent three days carefully preparing slides that would convey the most compelling story possible for selling the value of my proposal to the advancement of biological science, including painstaking diagrams of enzymatic action on thyroid hormones in the hypothalamus-pituitary-gonadal axis.

I was nervous as hell when it came time to present, but I got up there and loaded my presentation, introduced myself and my lab, and hit "Play from beginning".

Every image on every slide had somehow been replaced with
:cramstipated:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO

The day everything became Cramulus, I was standing underneath a streetlight, wishing I had a cigarette.
I can't recall anything unusual about it.
If there was something in the air, if the skies had clouded over, I wasn't aware; I was too bored to care.
No thunder roared.
No lightning cracked.
No missiles rained from the sky.
This was no sneak attack.
There was just suddenly this awful

lack.

Things had changed, that's for sure.
The day everything became Cramulus, you couldn't put your finger on what had gone wrong.
The alleys were still dirty; the garbage still smelled; there was no panic in the streets; just a lot of grief – in people's faces, in their eyes – a mixture of horror and total surprise.
This was no apocalypse. No one heard a voice from the sky.
There were no miracles at the 7-Eleven.
No one screamed, no one even asked why.
It was just like everything had somehow, quietly died. 
I can't recall much of what happened next.
I was on my way to visit this woman I knew.
All we had in common was good sex, and now I couldn't even remember her address.
A group of us, just strangers, got together and we formed a committee to discuss the problem.
We talked about things like assured mutual destruction and emotional responsibility.
I couldn't remember my name, so I called myself Bob.

It's weird being a Bob, but I'll get used to it. I have to.




(with apologies to Nomeansno)

Cramulus

*tight closeup of Cramulus' face*

Take, Eat... This is my body.

*camera rapidly zooms out, revealing 100 squirrels crawling all over naked Cramulus*

Drink, this is my blood

*Camera focuses on the Stanley Cup, filled with mountain dew*

This is the blood of the covenant, which is poured out in remembrance of the 1980s

Do this in memory of Cramulus





*The squirrels turn into rose petals, which are carried by the wind, into a fire*

*A fireman with chicken wings stuck in his beard grabs a fire hose and blasts the fire, which just spreads for some reason, igniting a nearby elementary school. A guy yells "daaamn"*


"Amen."

LMNO

Move over, Payne... there's a new messiah in town!

What's his name?

CRAM!

I can't hear you!

CRAM!

What's he gonna do?

HE'S GONNA CRAM YOUR GRAN!

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.