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Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

Started by Eater of Clowns, August 11, 2016, 12:11:01 AM

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Vanadium Gryllz

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 18, 2016, 08:40:10 PM
:lulz:

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN my electricians are totally stumped on a problem.  Thing is, one of them is inexperienced and the other is really more of an HVAC guy.  So I wander over, identify the problem in about 15 minutes, and we fix it in about an hour.

They apparently think I'm some kind of genius, but it's really just a case of having seen most of this type of shit a million times and knowing how to step back and actually look at the problem.  By which I mean, don't marry yourself to a theory.

Anyway, I AM MAINTENANCE MONKEY, HEAR ME ROAR.

Start scrawling ventilation diagrams in the tunnels when nobody is looking.
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

Trivial

Quote from: SuuCal on August 18, 2016, 01:43:58 AM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 01:19:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 17, 2016, 04:51:17 AM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 17, 2016, 04:38:31 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 17, 2016, 04:03:52 AM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 17, 2016, 03:48:52 AM
You know, I thought my Dad was acquiring his conservative weirdness from Fox News or his nutty friend, until I went to church with him recently.  My parents are very Catholic and their new priest was saying that even though the Assumption wasn't considered a holy day of obligation that he thought the bishops were wrong and that you should go because black masses are happening in Oklahoma.  If you couldn't go you should say the Hail Mary a lot because Satanists are causing the murder rate to rise with the black masses.  Satanist are literally calling Satan up to tell people to murder each other, but Hail Marys will stop that.   :horrormirth:

Then continued on with his interpretation of the father against son gospel that played so well into his world view.    Someone you care about could be calling up Satan right now!

Church has always seemed weird to me but that was a tad much.



Your dad's priest is a Manichean heretic?

I had to look that up and, yeah he is!  All while spouting how heresy is bad.

I have memorized a ridiculous amount of theology in which I have no belief whatsoever.   :lol:

I found out the previous pope made him a monsignor.  Geh.

Burke is from our area, I hateses him.

Gnostic heresies are fucking BIZARRE. It's weird hearing of one popping up in the west. Especially someone representing the Chalcedonian rite. Seriously a non believe in the Annunciation, and they gave him a priesthood?  :lulz:


Ah, didn't dig too deeply into that heresy, yeah he's still into Mary-related Catholic dogma, but he's really into dualism, and prayer as magic spell type thinking.      It's a lot different than what I grew up with.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Cain

Report him to the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith.

They probably won't burn him alive, sadly, but he is definitely engaged in heresy.

POFP

This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Trivial

Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

Kinda wonder if we work for the same company.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Trivial

Boss got a data logger unit, wasn't logging data.  Opened it and found a mostly empty box with a raspberry pi inside.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

POFP

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:21:50 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

Kinda wonder if we work for the same company.

Atos? NSC Global?

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:24:09 PM
Boss got a data logger unit, wasn't logging data.  Opened it and found a mostly empty box with a raspberry pi inside.

I just pictured a 90s cell phone looking contraption being opened up, and it's literally empty with a Ras-pi banging around in the case, not attached or connected to anything.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Trivial

Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 11:38:22 PM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:21:50 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

Kinda wonder if we work for the same company.

Atos? NSC Global?

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:24:09 PM
Boss got a data logger unit, wasn't logging data.  Opened it and found a mostly empty box with a raspberry pi inside.

I just pictured a 90s cell phone looking contraption being opened up, and it's literally empty with a Ras-pi banging around in the case, not attached or connected to anything.

Nope, not Atos or NSC.

It looked like  beige box with some ports on the side, and a 90's cell antenna.  The pi was in a bracket to hold it in place.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:24:09 PM
Boss got a data logger unit, wasn't logging data.  Opened it and found a mostly empty box with a raspberry pi inside.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: That's AMAZING. Also I feel like it's kind of a metaphor for everything about doing science.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

I find office stories strangely, pleasurably satisfying, for some reason.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Nast

A wildfire started in my town as well today, not bad enough to worry about evacuating but maybe should start to think about what to put in a go-bag. Living that SoCal life!

In other news I found a job! It's not as many hours as I'd like, but I make good tips so that's nice. It's also crazy and bilingual.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Faust

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 19, 2016, 02:13:33 AM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 11:38:22 PM
Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:21:50 PM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

Kinda wonder if we work for the same company.

Atos? NSC Global?

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 18, 2016, 11:24:09 PM
Boss got a data logger unit, wasn't logging data.  Opened it and found a mostly empty box with a raspberry pi inside.

I just pictured a 90s cell phone looking contraption being opened up, and it's literally empty with a Ras-pi banging around in the case, not attached or connected to anything.

Nope, not Atos or NSC.

It looked like  beige box with some ports on the side, and a 90's cell antenna.  The pi was in a bracket to hold it in place.
We use the Pi for demoing kits, and you can use it quite well with some sensor modules with modbus/fieldbus. But its not a product for redistribution, there are issues with them on scale, its an amazing piece of kit, but it's a hobbiest tool.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Cain

Heh, so speaking of learning Russian...Rosetta Stone had another deal on this week.  £99 for a complete downloadable Russian course.  I've spent way too much money this month already, what with the wedding I'm attending next week...new suit, train tickets, hotel, taxi...but fuck it, that's a deal I can't pass up.  Besides, screw spending limits, I have savings.

POFP

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 19, 2016, 03:29:52 AM
Quote from: Fernando Poo on August 18, 2016, 10:38:36 PM
This last weekend, we had an email issue involving a few hundred Virtual Desktops. We submitted a high priority ticket to a resolver group along with a pager alert. After they bullshitted in a 500 dollar conference call, they decided to close the issue because we (The Service Desk) had a half-functional workaround. So we submitted a new shiny high priority ticket with more information on the issue, along with a blunt statement about the fact that it was going to drive call volume on Monday, and that it could be a potential disaster. The team kicks it back to us to resolve and says it's not their issue, and that it was determined that it was [Insert another team's name]'s issue during the 500 dollar conference call. Why they decided to leave that fact out when they originally closed the issue, I have no clue.

Either way, we open yet another high priority ticket (Wow, this is costing them a lot of money by this point) and send it over to the team that it was supposed to be with, with even more information. They took one glance at the ticket notes and called the EXAMPLE user with the issue, and closed the ticket on the basis that it was resolved for that person.

At this point, my team is risking dropping calls over this issue, so we're all pretty frustrated. So, we re-open the ticket right away, and send it back to them WITHOUT the pager that alerts the team of the ticket (It doesn't matter, they're supposed to be monitoring their queues anyways). Of course, it sits there the rest of the day without being touched. Not until Monday, anyways.

On the weekends, we don't have extremely high call volume, so I spent the time in between phone calls researching the issue. I ended up figuring out exactly what went wrong, and sent the solution to the team with the ticket. I also sent an email to my supervisors alerting them of what was going on, as well as a pre-setup email blast ready to be sent to MY team on how to deal with the calls.

As predicted, Monday rolls around, and my team gets SLAMMED with calls. They use my email blast, and things go a little smoother.
The guy who had the ticket breach (The agreed upon resolution time-frame for the high priority issue wasn't met) on his watch must've had his ass handed to him over it, because he was going back through 30 or so tickets, personally, to make sure that each person that was affected had their issue resolved.  :lulz:

Perfect timing for my conversion to a non-contractor employee status. Just a few more incidences where I resolve an issue that's thousands of dollars above my pay-grade and I'll have enough under my belt to bargain for a higher position right out of the gate. Good thing is, I usually do this very thing once a month or so. So I'm pretty stoked.

I find office stories strangely, pleasurably satisfying, for some reason.

Me too, actually. And I didn't realize this fact until I came to this forum and started reading everyone else's.

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on August 19, 2016, 02:13:33 AM

It looked like  beige box with some ports on the side, and a 90's cell antenna.  The pi was in a bracket to hold it in place.


Oh god :lulz:

Quote from: Cain on August 19, 2016, 10:44:30 AM
Heh, so speaking of learning Russian...Rosetta Stone had another deal on this week.  £99 for a complete downloadable Russian course.  I've spent way too much money this month already, what with the wedding I'm attending next week...new suit, train tickets, hotel, taxi...but fuck it, that's a deal I can't pass up.  Besides, screw spending limits, I have savings.

This caught me off guard, and I found it really funny  :lulz:

Also, I don't know why I've never looked into Rosetta Stone. If I learned Hindi, my job security would be through the fucking roof. I'd probably get a massive raise because of my usefulness.

Also, any particular reason you're interested in Russian? I mean, other than the fact that it may become the only way we survive if Trump gets elected. Or other than the deal?  :lol:
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Cain

Well, firstly, working in boarding, Russian is useful.  I mean, I know 90% of the swear words already, but the others would be nice.  Secondly, between my first degree and some of my writing, I have enough knowledge to pass myself off as a Russia expert...aside from the language barrier.  Relevant to my second degree, Russia has a huge far-right problem, and they're mostly violent into the bargain. 

Finally, quite a few of the security jobs I see posted require Russian, or Arabic, or both, as required proficiencies for application.