Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

[The Wizard Joseph]

Started messing around with a photo editing app. I'm finding it pretty frustrating, but making progress.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

As long as they hid the skillet well enough your odds are over 30 %.


For 3rd degree burns.

Naw, but what DID happen is that I got a whole-leg cramp in my left leg that seems to have damaged muscle around my left knee and ankle.

You know that water chemistry problem I've been working on?  where it basically rains distilled water and there's no alkalinity?  well, I've been drinking that water this whole time and I seem to have washed out my electrolytes.  Took some mag and potassium, and the cramp evaporated.  But not the insanely sore muscles.  So now I'm stumping around like Igor.

Wait, are you saying you've been drinking homeopathic gatorade and it wasn't helping?

[The Wizard Joseph]

Eee.. sorry to hear about the leg Roger!

[The Wizard Joseph]

There's something kinda neat about looking up Greek mythology and getting ready to write my own, openly fictional, heresies on a Sunday morning.

Did you know that young Spartan boys were required to ritually sacrifice a little puppy to "Enyalius", war-god offshoot of Enyo and Ares? Enyalius was also a title for Ares, but I guess he gave it to his kid. English translation is something like "warlike". Ares' own name is more properly close to "are" meaning bane or ruin ( I think also maybe spoil under certain English definitions), perhaps as such Ares means "ruinous one" or "wrecker".

Thinking I might get a kick out of actually learning ancient Greek, both for my fictitious proclivities and to be... certified to interpret certain gospel passages.
Hmmm...

[Cain]

Worth noting that, according to Homer, Enyo and Eris are the same.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Worth noting that, according to Homer, Enyo and Eris are the same.

Yup. I'm really inclined to just call Homer a fucking liar in my fictions. The character Dustrael particularly has a love for calling bullshit on "The Greats", even when he knows better FOR A FACT. Some "angels" can't lie, but he's sure not an angel anymore, and never that sort to begin with. Later in the fiction I've not decided whether or not such might prove to be largely true. Daimonion physiology as I imagine it has room for both, and Nyx a dark sense of humor indeed.

Aw fuck... I've gotta get this out, but not sure where or how yet. I've probably waited too long to share some of this stuff with you guys, but I don't necessarily want it public access.

Here's the character write ups for my main protagonist and his primary supporting character I've only shared with a couple interested Discordian friends on FB and those I storytell to.

_____
From the file:
Some of my dramatis personae

Dustrael

During the times of Noah it is said that there was an indiscretion committed by the entire chior of angels that had been made and sent to Earth to be the Watchers of Humanity after the war in Heaven, the Grigori. Dustrael was once one of them, but is no longer an angel in any meaningful sense. When the Grigori conspired, and acted as one, to explicitly disobey their instructions and begin to mate with humans and otherwise interfere with the course of events on Earth Dustrael broke his covenant to his "brothers", sworn before his commander Azazel, and informed Heaven of the plot.

Heaven was still quite a mess in the aftermath of the war, and so it took  some time for action to ultimately be taken. The System was never designed to operate understaffed, and Lucifer hadn't just taken a statistically even third of Heaven with him. He had been cherry picking for talented and influential supporters for quite some time before making his ill-fated "move". Worse, Lucifer had sabotaged the Commandment structure both by no longer being a critical functionary of it and by the various damages, such as his smashing up of the Medatron 5000 comms device-being, done before he and his forces were ultimately routed. By the time Dustrael's warning was finally heeded and acted upon the fallen Grigori's truly horrific corruptions of both the body and spirit of humanity had spread worldwide. Deluge was ultimately deemed the solution.

Dustrael doesn't talk about those days much. In fact since the flood he hasn't intelligibly spoken AT ALL... until quite recently. When his entire chior was at last rounded up and put to judgement Dustrael was made to stand before them and testify. After he was made to witness his brothers being bound until the end of time to the abyss Dustrael's OWN suprise trial, called for by God Himself through the broken remnants of the Medatron5000, began for making his traitorous oath before Azazel AND for breaking it.

"Watchers watch. Watchers don't talk." was the only clearly heard emanation from the badly damaged M5K device before the very hand of God Itself manifested and "pimp-slapped" him in the mouth. This cast him to Earth where Dustrael has since remained as an immortal, but an angel no more, and unable to speak, write, or otherwise express intelligible language, only senseless gibberish and emotion.

Then one day he met a very strange mortal who was clearly from "out of town" that could understand him. Boy did Dustrael have some tales to tell this "Wizard." The Wizard in turn had his own stories. Impossible tales from worlds beyond counting that this strange alien's culture had explored, destroyed, and rebuilt for ages beyond counting.

Earth just got interesting again.

The Wizard

An extremely young and singularly talented member of an incredibly ancient, and now irredeemably decadent, culture of intergalactic explorers that have among their many abilities the power to "port" from their own continuum to myriad worlds located in many galaxies scattered throughout the universe. The Wizard attempted successfully, if accidentally, to open one of a small set of known, though forbidden and historically inaccessible, portals that his culture refers to as the "Broken Keys". He is forced to cross the newly opened, dangerously unstable portal before he can figure out how he opened it when his "experiment" is found out and he is faced with no other option but a surely memorable and horrible death for his brash transgression against his kind's inflexible codex of survival axioms known as The Ways.

He barely survives the crossing and is totally stunned to discover that the world he has arrived on, our world, is in many ways like no others EVER experienced by his people. Firstly, there is almost no "Manium Field" here. The Manium Field is a subtle but dynamic ambient energy that his kind sense and manipulate to produce various "magical" effects, including "porting". Coming here was a one way trip as far as he can tell, but that's not the biggest problem he faces by far.

To The Wizard's initial horror the people here have seemingly tamed a form of power explicitly deemed forbidden by The Ways. This energy is known to his kind as The Dragon. We call it electricity. The reason for this prohibition is tied into their culture's extraordinary manner of record keeping. "Wizards" are made, not born, and truly the most important part of that making is the artificial soul that each recieves from the great Matrices of Being that bears and perfectly preserves the total life experiences of each previous recipient and will record their own experiences to be reviewed upon their death. The Draconic Energies are able to render these specialized souls permanently unreadable. Whole swathes of their history have tragically been lost to this mysterious anathema force,leading to the ages-long decline of their culture, and it's EVERYWHERE here.

To survive The Wizard will have to gather allies as well as learn to adapt to both an environment and ideas that his culture literally CANNOT accept. He knows that his fellow Wizards will likely wait for his soul to return to the Matrices of Being in order to examine his experiences here, but also that they just might figure out how he opened the unopenable "broken key" portal that stranded him. If they do, both they and the people here will never be the same. The Wizard cannot know when or if this might occur however. All worlds have a differing temporal constant against their own Continuum Constant chronology.  A day on this bizarre "Earth" could be for his kind a few seconds... or a few millennia, and he has no way to know what.

One of the most important of The Ways is the axiom "All is change, nothing is impossible." To this stranded, talented neophyte nothing has ever been more true, or more truly terrible.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My wife and I are travelling to Italy for two weeks, leaving tonight!

So excited.

Have all the fun, drink all the wine, and enjoy all those beautiful Italian people!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That sounds great! It's incredible how far you've got with all this in what seems like a relatively short time.


I've spent the past week driving over 1800 miles to various places that make bumblefuck, Nowhere, look like the height of modern civilisation. Roads frequently not quite as wide as a single car, traffic direction around fucked wagons and all kinds of other nonsense means my head is utterly wrecked and I'm pretty damn happy to start Saturday night right fucking now.

What the hell are you doing out in the boonies?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Tonight, Alty and I are experiencing the unfettered Joy of Statistics. Come, join us on our fantastic journey!

https://www.gapminder.org/videos/the-joy-of-stats/

[The Wizard Joseph]

Tonight, Alty and I are experiencing the unfettered Joy of Statistics. Come, join us on our fantastic journey!

https://www.gapminder.org/videos/the-joy-of-stats/

I'm down. Will plug in somewhere this evening and watch. After that I'm going to do a brief fictional write-up of you along the lines of how you've sometimes manifested in the largely un-written dream-snippets and stories this place has often heavily influenced. I'm trying trying to express them a little piece at a time here.

It seems that seeing you post to "The Magicians", content yet unread, gave me a fright not unlike seeing TOO MUCH fire apparently burning as you approach a favorite village. It wasn't like it was IRL you personally had posted, of course, but your... sorta avatar in my dreamscapes perhaps. And mayhap a card with "rules" on it similar to one I was similarly inspired to write up of Roger a while back.

But first, LEARNING!

ETA: I really wish more of my teachers had had cool accents and such enthusiasm of spirit. I dig him already!

[Cainad (dec.)]

As long as they hid the skillet well enough your odds are over 30 %.


For 3rd degree burns.

Naw, but what DID happen is that I got a whole-leg cramp in my left leg that seems to have damaged muscle around my left knee and ankle.

You know that water chemistry problem I've been working on?  where it basically rains distilled water and there's no alkalinity?  well, I've been drinking that water this whole time and I seem to have washed out my electrolytes.  Took some mag and potassium, and the cramp evaporated.  But not the insanely sore muscles.  So now I'm stumping around like Igor.

Low-Sodium V8 is my preferred way to get potassium, once I'm sick of shoving bananas into my face. The only downside is, of course, that V8 tastes like a cold salt-marsh puree.

[Junkenstein]

That sounds great! It's incredible how far you've got with all this in what seems like a relatively short time.


I've spent the past week driving over 1800 miles to various places that make bumblefuck, Nowhere, look like the height of modern civilisation. Roads frequently not quite as wide as a single car, traffic direction around fucked wagons and all kinds of other nonsense means my head is utterly wrecked and I'm pretty damn happy to start Saturday night right fucking now.

What the hell are you doing out in the boonies?

Visiting clients and shouting mainly. Now writing "fuck you" letters based around it.

[Trivial]

As long as they hid the skillet well enough your odds are over 30 %.


For 3rd degree burns.

Naw, but what DID happen is that I got a whole-leg cramp in my left leg that seems to have damaged muscle around my left knee and ankle.

You know that water chemistry problem I've been working on?  where it basically rains distilled water and there's no alkalinity?  well, I've been drinking that water this whole time and I seem to have washed out my electrolytes.  Took some mag and potassium, and the cramp evaporated.  But not the insanely sore muscles.  So now I'm stumping around like Igor.

Low-Sodium V8 is my preferred way to get potassium, once I'm sick of shoving bananas into my face. The only downside is, of course, that V8 tastes like a cold salt-marsh puree.

Potatoes have more potassium than bananas, try shoving those in your face.

[The Wizard Joseph]

The vid on statistics was pretty great! I'm reminded of a series I found on  netflix called The Code that expands on some of the particulars touched upon, and takes a more reasonable look at ancient perspective on the subject of such than I expected. It's pretty neat, and finishing it is on my list.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Here's the write-ups. This character has been percolating since the whole Jehovabubba thing took over my head for a while. It's changed to reflect the blending for "The Assault On Christmas" story setting, which I'm working on when I'm done with the last of The Secret Genesis. I'm going to do more "cards" too as I get a chance.



Name: Mama Nigel, Saint of Science
Lulz: 3
Reg: Science, Troll, Lifestyle
Tags: fabulous, horrible, magic
Txt: At the beginning of the Posting Phase flounce all other spags with the magic tag that are regged to the same thread as MN, SOS and then dispell all magic effects in play on the thread with a threshold less than 5. MN, SOS gains +3 lulz permanently for every spag flounced in this way. If this effect tips the balance of lulz enough to win the thread outright then after the effects of winning the thread resolve move MN, SOS to any other thread on the board that has not yet been resolved this round and that this spag could normally Reg to. If no such thread is in play on the board then instead flounce MN, SOS immediately after all other effects of winning the thread resolve if this card is still in play.

If any effect would remove this card from the game or return it to your hand from play instead place it on top of your Flounce Pile.

_____
From The OIC files, (pronounced O-ik by insiders, shhh! )
Office of releases code AU5-vb, Permit of Limited Disclosure-E granted


"Mama Nigel", called by some adherents of the West African tradition's American offshoots "The Orisha of Science", is in fact not an Onarian incarnation or inhabitation in strictest sense, but an anomaly nominally allied with the various animistic Onerian factions in operation under Shadow Treaty RDRR-86 Ref: *REDACTED FOR THREE LINES*

Hard information of how this being came to find corporeal form and the origin of the association with existing Onarian factions is unavailable at this time. It is known that the "alliance" is widely, if quietly, complained about due to "Mama Nigel's" demand that her adherents forswear all other Onarian-traditional supportive activities as "pointless mystical gobbledygook" and begin acquisition of a hard scientific education. That this one-sided tributary "alliance" continues, and that it's continuance is the only thing solidly known to OIC, is the only testament to the apparent power of this anomalous entity, and the only one necessary. OIC has no authority to monitor or interfere in the affairs of this being per SG Edict *REDACTED FOR TWO LINES, SEAL BLOTTED OUT*

END OF AUTHORIZED SUMMARY


I have a short vignette involving the Wizard attempting to deliver a package and being stunned to discover an INCARNA OF THE NIGEL just, like, sitting there in a lab cryo-slicing serpent brains like that's nothing unusual. Just because EVERY world has exactly one and they never, ever have been known to take up flesh, (Great One be merciful!) is no good reason to just freak out and run... he's got a contract to fulfill after all. He just wasn't expecting the Yeti....

I'll write it up properly when I place it into an actual plot arc.