Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Petty work shit is now affecting me, and perhaps I've just been exposed to too many TGRR Mind Lazors in my lifetime, but I have come to two conclusions in the past 24 hours:

1) They're all motherfuckers.
2) They're out to get me.

I was very ill from January until about this past August. During most of that time, my work performance got more shoddy than usual. I tried my level best to ensure that people knew exactly how much work they could get out of me, once I knew what the issue was. I believe that the time I spent being less useful annoyed enough people that the gears have now turned against me.

So now they have hired a fresh young recruit, probably two years younger than me, to replace me without actually replacing me. I was hired with the intention of being mostly a tech geek (GIS, specifically) with the option to do field grunt work when the schedule demanded it. This new guy is full-time GIS, and I have been "shifted" to do more field work. I can also tell that he knows he's here to replace me, and that he feels badly about it. He's not old, bitter, or treacherous enough yet to stick his thumb in my eye.

A majority of our clients are in the boroughs of NYC, and I live on the far eastern end of Long Island. For those unaware, Long Island is named such because it is very fucking long. Normally I would spend my time in the office on Long Island, which has not been a problem. A one-way trip into NYC for me is approximately 2 hours if I leave my house at about 4 AM. But I'm a good sport and willing to put in a little overtime. I get paid for drive time and reimbursed for mileage, after all, so it's not so bad as long as I can find time in the day to, yanno, sleep.

But now I've done all last week and been scheduled for all of this week to drive into Brooklyn for brain-draining oversight jobs. Instead of hiring a body from the city to do city jobs and keep me in my initial capacity, they've put me in a position where I am spending four hours a day on the road, minimum.

Considering the cost of paying me extra hours and mileage, I offered that they could buy me a cheap motel room close to the site. The response I got was a lot more, shall we say, crisp than I had anticipated. There was a lot more in that reply than just the reply. I have been scolded for my unsatisfactory performance.

It's time to put the spit-polish on that resume. Damn shame, really.

Wow, that sucks. Completely. Damn.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Started an official complaints process against the department head (raising his voice at me in the meeting was a really bad idea).

Also looking into how I can anonymously contact inspection agencies.

Also applied for yet more jobs.

Destroy them.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So far, graduate school seems to consist entirely of too many meetings to actually get any work done.

[Eater of Clowns]

A woman used the term "microbiome" flirtatiously with me recently and you guys

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

A woman used the term "microbiome" flirtatiously with me recently and you guys

I am trying to imagine a scenario in which that could be used flirtatiously, and  .

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Instead of having a lunch meeting on campus today, I am having one in Salem.

Because it is important to get as far away as possible from the site of actual research, so that you can spend the entire day IN TRANSIT between lunch and work.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Glad you like the write-up Nigel!

Have you considered just narrowing your eyes meaningfully and casually mentioning that... serious sacrifices will certainly need to be made if these "mandatory" meetings impede The Work any further?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

DAY 6 OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE:

The walls are closing in. I have befriended a lizard who lives in the front yard. He says his name is Fred. Random clattering and banging from the garage (probably the HVAC, but fuck if I'm gonna go look). I wonder out loud if people actually live like this on a regular basis. Fred says "yes". How the fuck did he get in the house? Fuck off, Fred, you're drunk. I think I have rickets.

[minuspace]

Reading is how the demons get in your eyeballs.

This is true, and it's why all books should be banned unless it's the Bible, and we really shouldn't look at that too hard, either.  Just in case.

The Bible puts THE MOST demons in your eyes tho...

That's why we must DEMONiSE it even moar!

[Trivial]

Welp, there's on air meteorologists that are telling people they're going to die.

[Junkenstein]

Well, they're not wrong.

Not exactly what you want to hear for the weather though.

[P3nT4gR4m]

So it turns out this little guy has cancer of the bunghole. Gutted. He's only 7  I have a strong urge to beat the shit out of something.

[The Wizard Joseph]

So it turns out this little guy has cancer of the bunghole. Gutted. He's only 7  I have a strong urge to beat the shit out of something.

Fuck man, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Junkenstein]

Shit man, that's awful.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Reading is how the demons get in your eyeballs.

This is true, and it's why all books should be banned unless it's the Bible, and we really shouldn't look at that too hard, either.  Just in case.

The Bible puts THE MOST demons in your eyes tho...

That's why we must DEMONiSE it even moar!

Subgenii effectively got there first. Perhaps we can just find the Bible a nice retirement community somewhere. It can re-live the glory days when memes were regarded as life&death matters and the old names REALLY meant something to the average "pleb on the street", but not have to worry about forgetting to take it's pills on time and eat a proper diet instead of just burnt steak like all the fucking time.

Of course the fans will complain if the ending is "off cannon", but everybody knows it was left on a cliffhanger so the Author wouldn't get pigeon-holed too badly if the third act twist failed to land with the audience.