Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

[The Wizard Joseph]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

[POFP]

After about 30 seconds of intense, psychological analysis, I've come to the conclusion that one can throw the election by spreading a screenshot of either candidate's phone in which the battery percentage is below 15%.

I don't think the American people could trust someone to run the entire country if they can't even plug in their phone at 14% charge.

I'm serious. Alt-Righters would turn on Trump overnight.

[Don Coyote]

So, I found out today that a friend(?) died in a motorcycle accident last night. She's the sister of a guy who was my best friend growing up, until he got out of the Marines and turned conservitard. She was also an Army veteran, a wheeled vehicle mechanic. We ended both stationed at Lewis, but in different units. Now, I wish I had made more of an effort to spend time with her for the time were both at Lewis, even though our ideas of a good time were different. I'm not sure how to process this, or if I need to. At some point I had unfriended her from FB, probably because I can only handle so much of a certain kind of political talk, and this had to have been years ago.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

[Vanadium Gryllz]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

What's wrong with a good old-fashioned pipe bomb?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

What's wrong with a good old-fashioned pipe bomb?

Too prosaic.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

What's wrong with a good old-fashioned pipe bomb?

Too prosaic.

This method is something best done in advance as a sort of note to one's persuer or an emergency distraction. Like you could even rig triggers that would intentionally bypass the drivetrain and put ALL the juice to a capacitor already at capacity for instant effect or let it "warm up" and make cool noises in the meantime or whatever else you may find useful.

Pipe bombs don't send a message of CARING the way a custom rigged device does. You got to put some love into it or its not worth doing.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

What's wrong with a good old-fashioned pipe bomb?

Too prosaic.

This method is something best done in advance as a sort of note to one's persuer or an emergency distraction. Like you could even rig triggers that would intentionally bypass the drivetrain and put ALL the juice to a capacitor already at capacity for instant effect or let it "warm up" and make cool noises in the meantime or whatever else you may find useful.

Pipe bombs don't send a message of CARING the way a custom rigged device does. You got to put some love into it or its not worth doing.

Who among us has never dreamed of detonating the elderly?  Who among us has never been stuck behind a person on a mobility scooter in a store?  You want to make them explode, or perhaps shove them onto an ice floe.  But you cannot; the elderly are the fastest growing demographic and our corrupt government will pass any protectionist bill that AARP asks for.  You can only lock them in the attic and wait for nature to take its course.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I don't see how Roger out there zoned on whatever he did to "fail" the coffee driving around Tucson IN A REAL VEHICLE NOT JUST AN UBERCHARGED "ASSISTANCE" CHAIR entirely unsupervised and certainly likely without several basic necessaries that a properly supervised Roger would certainly not be allowed to just leave without. .. FUCK!!

He could wind up anywhere, improperly coffee'd and both withdrawing AND relapsing! Fuck he could MEET PEOPLE in the middle of a FULL-ON FIT OF THE HOLIES ferfucksake!   

I have been wondering for years how to make those mobility scooters explode.

There's got to be a way. If you've got a battery charge strong enough to move 400+ pounds of human wreckage and supplies the battery's gotta be packing enough to blow at least somewhat. If you want a really big boom though you're probably going to have to mod it in felonious ways. You could take a high yield capacitor and connect the anode end to the positive terminal and ground it to the frame. Would take a bit of running to blow, at a guess, but if tightly bound enough could be close to a flashbang in effect and likely to pierce or crack the battery enough to....

Why do I think like this so readily? 

What's wrong with a good old-fashioned pipe bomb?

Too prosaic.

This method is something best done in advance as a sort of note to one's persuer or an emergency distraction. Like you could even rig triggers that would intentionally bypass the drivetrain and put ALL the juice to a capacitor already at capacity for instant effect or let it "warm up" and make cool noises in the meantime or whatever else you may find useful.

Pipe bombs don't send a message of CARING the way a custom rigged device does. You got to put some love into it or its not worth doing.

Who among us has never dreamed of detonating the elderly?  Who among us has never been stuck behind a person on a mobility scooter in a store?  You want to make them explode, or perhaps shove them onto an ice floe.  But you cannot; the elderly are the fastest growing demographic and our corrupt government will pass any protectionist bill that AARP asks for.  You can only lock them in the attic and wait for nature to take its course.

Tanks full of oxygen are known to make it take that course faster... I hadn't considered this in the above speculations.

That AARP issued "self preservation" conditioning is a bitch tho. I think that convincing them to blow THEMSELVES up is the way to go in the future. We just need to start sewing.. the seed now..

I GOT IT! We start with the ones supporting the televangelists first with the ALL NEW HOLY ROLLER DELUX... they'll buy anything!

[Cain]

So, after the hilarity of last week's meeting, I have been invited to another meeting this week to discuss what should have been discussed last week.

For those keeping score at home, that means every day off I've had in the past month month, bar 2, have been spent on work related bullshit (the move or meetings).

I have sent back a polite email declining, citing my previous comments, which were, I believe "I'm no longer interested in attending any meeting you put on, you lying bastards". 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

DAY 10 OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE:

I am posting naked.  While sitting in a leather office chair.  I am afraid to move, as I seem to have bonded with the furniture.  Fred is on the bookshelf giving me the hairy eyeball and singing Gregorian chants in his little lizard voice.  Everything is fine.  I am fine.  Ia ftang Cthulu.  I mean that in the best possible way.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

DAY 10 OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE:

I am posting naked.  While sitting in a leather office chair.  I am afraid to move, as I seem to have bonded with the furniture.  Fred is on the bookshelf giving me the hairy eyeball and singing Gregorian chants in his little lizard voice.  Everything is fine.  I am fine.  Ia ftang Cthulu.  I mean that in the best possible way.

There's no way this is really Roger, he would never survive 10 days alone. The chair must be posting, guys.

[The Wizard Joseph]

DAY 10 OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE:

I am posting naked.  While sitting in a leather office chair.  I am afraid to move, as I seem to have bonded with the furniture.  Fred is on the bookshelf giving me the hairy eyeball and singing Gregorian chants in his little lizard voice.  Everything is fine.  I am fine.  Ia ftang Cthulu.  I mean that in the best possible way.

There's no way this is really Roger, he would never survive 10 days alone. The chair must be posting, guys.

What if Roger and the chair are now one? What if he wasn't sticking so much as merging? I mean why invoke Cthulhu? Where's he get the that?
I don't trust this Fred, seems kinda dodgy. I think that "he" is a bad influence.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

DAY 10 OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE:

I am posting naked.  While sitting in a leather office chair.  I am afraid to move, as I seem to have bonded with the furniture.  Fred is on the bookshelf giving me the hairy eyeball and singing Gregorian chants in his little lizard voice.  Everything is fine.  I am fine.  Ia ftang Cthulu.  I mean that in the best possible way.

There's no way this is really Roger, he would never survive 10 days alone. The chair must be posting, guys.

Naw, you don't understand, there's no way he survived past day three. This is just the chair trying to get us comfortable with the idea so it can stop pretending.

What if Roger and the chair are now one? What if he wasn't sticking so much as merging? I mean why invoke Cthulhu? Where's he get the that?
I don't trust this Fred, seems kinda dodgy. I think that "he" is a bad influence.