Empire!?
Damnit, I thought I was joining a cult.
We multitask well. This both the Horrible Empire of Tucson AND the world's laziest death cult. We just can't be arsed to spike the Koolaid.
Lies! YOU CANT LIE TO ME, I'VE BEEN DRINKING IT FOR AWHILE NOW AND I'VE DISCOVERED ITS NOT EVEN KOOLAID!!!
It's kind of spicy, and goes down hard as hell. KOOLAID DOESN'T FEEL LIKE DAGGERS IN THE BELLY
maybe I drank from the wrong bowl. I don't feel so good.
Bowl?
Dude, that was the anti-freeze I dumped out of my radiator.
Well I tried to contact the poison control hotline but when I got to the part about drinking from the wrong bowl at the cult meeting of Discordians the uncharitable person on the line laughed at me and hung up.
To which I can only infer that this means I am either quite safe or incurably fucked. Likely both.
Also, the poison control rep clearly is not interested in joining our cult. I don't see why not, we even supposedly have KOOL-AID somewhere.
Unfortunately however, said koolaid has apparently not been spiked, so it's far less appealing anyway. Personally I find I prefer this nice bowl of anti-freeze I got here. *GULP*GULP*GULP*