General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[PopeTom]

"I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Maybe I have a natural ability."  - Donald Trump, visiting the CDC March 6, 2020

"I didn't know people died from the flu." - Donald Trump, Atlanta, GA press conference March 6, 2020

[chaotic neutral observer]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

[Cain]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

It actually exempted every country in Europe with a Trump resort. Also, amusingly, it doesn't apply to Americans.

So feel free to go to Switzerland and take a car down into Italy and get all the coronavirus you want, then fly back.

[Juana]

"I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Maybe I have a natural ability."  - Donald Trump, visiting the CDC March 6, 2020

"I didn't know people died from the flu." - Donald Trump, Atlanta, GA press conference March 6, 2020

Even without that comment from the 6th, it's like he doesn't understand how utterly fucking stupid that shit makes him sound.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

This  all fits nicely with the conspiracy theory I'm trying to promote to christians that Trump is the antichrist. Look at revelation 6:2 "And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer." The horseman commonly interpreted as representing Pestilence is given a crown. "Corona" means "crown" in Latin.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

You were supposed to correct the "racist" part.  That was the non-sequitur.  (It wasn't one of my better ones, but they can't all be winners).

[altered]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

You were supposed to correct the "racist" part.  That was the non-sequitur.  (It wasn't one of my better ones, but they can't all be winners).

MEXICO ISN'T PART OF NORTH AMERICA.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

That's the joke. I'm sure that if they could the people who voted for Brexit would have voted to leave the continent as well, or even the entire world. They just want to go and sulk by themselves away from all the reminders that their empire died a century ago.

EDIT:

Also, cultural differences have traditionally been seen as grounds to consider countries to be on different continents irrespective of geographical considerations. For example, there isn't even a hint of an ocean between Europe and Asia. If a landmass that is contiguous with Europe can be considered not part of Europe, than surely a landmass that ISN'T contiguous with Europe can be considered to not be a part of Europe.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

Blaa'h bla blah. B'a blah blah bl blah blaah bla blaaah bla blaah bla Blaaah blaah blah blaah bl blaah bla blaaaaaah bl blah, bl blah bla blaaah blaah. Blah blah blah bl bl bla blah bl blaaaaaaah blah blah bla bla blaaaaaah blah blaah blaaah blah b blaaaah bla.

BLAH:

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Whatever.

[Faust]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

That's the joke. I'm sure that if they could the people who voted for Brexit would have voted to leave the continent as well, or even the entire world. They just want to go and sulk by themselves away from all the reminders that their empire died a century ago.

EDIT:

Also, cultural differences have traditionally been seen as grounds to consider countries to be on different continents irrespective of geographical considerations. For example, there isn't even a hint of an ocean between Europe and Asia. If a landmass that is contiguous with Europe can be considered not part of Europe, than surely a landmass that ISN'T contiguous with Europe can be considered to not be a part of Europe.

Again, Europe does not equal the EU. Even the hardcore brexiteers said the UK still considers itself culturally european, and that it wants to shape european culture from outside the  EU

[Doktor Howl]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

[Doktor Howl]

Trump has declared a ban on travelers from Europe, to protect the U.S. from the foreign virus.

However, the ban doesn't apply to the U.K., because that would be racist.

The UK isn't part of Europe. They passed a referendum on it.

Is there any point in my explaining to you that you've confused Europe with the European Union?

That's the joke. I'm sure that if they could the people who voted for Brexit would have voted to leave the continent as well, or even the entire world. They just want to go and sulk by themselves away from all the reminders that their empire died a century ago.

EDIT:

Also, cultural differences have traditionally been seen as grounds to consider countries to be on different continents irrespective of geographical considerations. For example, there isn't even a hint of an ocean between Europe and Asia. If a landmass that is contiguous with Europe can be considered not part of Europe, than surely a landmass that ISN'T contiguous with Europe can be considered to not be a part of Europe.

*ahem*

UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

[Junkenstein]

"I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Maybe I have a natural ability."  - Donald Trump, visiting the CDC March 6, 2020

"I didn't know people died from the flu." - Donald Trump, Atlanta, GA press conference March 6, 2020

Even without that comment from the 6th, it's like he doesn't understand how utterly fucking stupid that shit makes him sound.

Worse than that, this is the shit he thinks is smart.

Even worse than that, a scary number of people think this is smart.

[Juana]

"I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Maybe I have a natural ability."  - Donald Trump, visiting the CDC March 6, 2020

"I didn't know people died from the flu." - Donald Trump, Atlanta, GA press conference March 6, 2020

Even without that comment from the 6th, it's like he doesn't understand how utterly fucking stupid that shit makes him sound.

Worse than that, this is the shit he thinks is smart.

Even worse than that, a scary number of people think this is smart.

Absolutely. He has two modes: brag and spite.