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General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, November 22, 2016, 04:26:22 PM

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tyrannosaurus vex

#960
Can we take a moment to appreciate that amid all this clamor for his impeachment (okay, less than half the country technically supports impeachment, but to even have the word uttered out in the open has to tell you something), Donald Tiberius Trump has floated the idea of just... impeaching himself? I feel like we are not stopping long enough to bask in the awe of this moment. Maybe the endless clatter of shoes dropping has got us all wandering around in a daze, as shocked and deafened as Gene Simmons at an actual rock concert, but the headline "President Tormented by Scandal, Threats of Impeachment Deigns to Just Pardon Himself and Move On" should not be "just another Thursday." Not even in this universe where it turns out the dark energy pulling everything apart is actually a vast reservoir of naturally-occurring post-modernism.

The hilarious part is that even the experts -- real ones, not the kind who print a PhD from Kinko's and get a seven-figure job at Fox News to pinch interns' asses, broadcast a hurricane of hate to everyone in the country, and ruin anyone who tries to stop them -- even the experts are scratching their heads. The best they can offer is "It'll be interesting to see what the courts make of that, if he tries it." That's right. The law itself does not specifically prohibit such a thing. Why? Well, because back when they wrote the Constitution and for about 200 years after that, there was no need to. Obviously, an impeached president (or one facing imminent impeachment) could not just pardon himself and walk away unscathed. At no point did anyone think "what if there is someone so vile, he'd try to pardon himself?" Just like they didn't think "What if there were so many idiots in the country, that he might get away with it?"

That sound you hear is the sound of the great United States of America slipping below the "goes without saying" threshold. It's also the sound of a very tenacious evil literally slipping between the seams of this thing called "society" that we have built for ourselves. Well, that we live in, anyway. Like a thief into a tent. Trump has managed -- whether out of sheer stupidity and dumb luck, or by maniacal plotting, it doesn't really matter which -- to illuminate a glaring gap in the threads of our civilization.  He may not even have to break any laws. HA!
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Bruno

Idiot delivered another campaign speech, this time to the National Scout Jamboree. He, of course, took the opportunity to brag about himself, shit on Obama and Clinton, repeatedly complain about "fake media", and "fake news", and talk about "killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that's really hurting us".

He even got in a quick jab about "loyalty".
How could he resist? It's in their motto, ferchrissakes!

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ge_HEeIuI


Transcript:

http://time.com/4872118/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech-transcript/


QuoteI'm waving to people back there so small I can't even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible.
By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero?
(APPLAUSE)
The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke" -- you know what is -- "President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today." That's some -- that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news.



Formerly something else...

tyrannosaurus vex

Quote from: Emo Howard on July 25, 2017, 03:20:07 PM
Idiot delivered another campaign speech, this time to the National Scout Jamboree. He, of course, took the opportunity to brag about himself, shit on Obama and Clinton, repeatedly complain about "fake media", and "fake news", and talk about "killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that's really hurting us".

He even got in a quick jab about "loyalty".
How could he resist? It's in their motto, ferchrissakes!

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ge_HEeIuI


Transcript:

http://time.com/4872118/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech-transcript/


QuoteI'm waving to people back there so small I can't even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible.
By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero?
(APPLAUSE)
The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke" -- you know what is -- "President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today." That's some -- that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news.
Yeah, and he got the Boy Scouts to boo Obama, because that's how fragile his ego is. He can't manage simple graciousness, like, at all.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Bruno

Quote from: tyrannosaurus vex on July 25, 2017, 03:25:06 PM
Quote from: Emo Howard on July 25, 2017, 03:20:07 PM
Idiot delivered another campaign speech, this time to the National Scout Jamboree. He, of course, took the opportunity to brag about himself, shit on Obama and Clinton, repeatedly complain about "fake media", and "fake news", and talk about "killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that's really hurting us".

He even got in a quick jab about "loyalty".
How could he resist? It's in their motto, ferchrissakes!

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ge_HEeIuI


Transcript:

http://time.com/4872118/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech-transcript/


QuoteI'm waving to people back there so small I can't even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible.
By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero?
(APPLAUSE)
The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke" -- you know what is -- "President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today." That's some -- that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news.
Yeah, and he got the Boy Scouts to boo Obama, because that's how fragile his ego is. He can't manage simple graciousness, like, at all.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

The crowd's eagerness to go along with it is probably the most disturbing part. Keep in mind these are the people who decided to stay after the changes in LGBT policy. I don't know how much it affected them nationwide, but according to a friend in my hometown who has kids in scouts, when the new policy was announced half the troop dropped out.

I'd like to find a video taken either of the crowd, or from inside the crowd to get a better gauge of reactions. Clearly, many felt Idiot's remarks were worth cheering, but I can see how those who felt differently might consider actively booing a guest speaker to be unscoutly, or something.
Formerly something else...

Bruno

Here's a few seconds of the crowd as he walks out. Looks like most of the people who aren't flailing their arms in excitement are the ones holding cameras. We may have to wait until those people get home from the party to see that footage. Uploading a 40 minute speech eats up a lot of data, and the wi-fi there is probably shit to non-existant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FudpTJaBeU
Formerly something else...

Bruno

Formerly something else...

Brother Mythos

Quote from: Emo Howard on July 25, 2017, 03:20:07 PM
Idiot delivered another campaign speech, this time to the National Scout Jamboree. He, of course, took the opportunity to brag about himself, shit on Obama and Clinton, repeatedly complain about "fake media", and "fake news", and talk about "killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that's really hurting us".

He even got in a quick jab about "loyalty".
How could he resist? It's in their motto, ferchrissakes!

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ge_HEeIuI


Transcript:

http://time.com/4872118/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech-transcript/


QuoteI'm waving to people back there so small I can't even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible.
By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero?
(APPLAUSE)
The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke" -- you know what is -- "President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today." That's some -- that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news.

I don't have the stomach for it, but my wife watched Trump's entire speech. She told me it reminded her of a Hitler Youth Rally.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Bruno

Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 26, 2017, 06:02:35 AM
Quote from: Emo Howard on July 25, 2017, 03:20:07 PM
Idiot delivered another campaign speech, this time to the National Scout Jamboree. He, of course, took the opportunity to brag about himself, shit on Obama and Clinton, repeatedly complain about "fake media", and "fake news", and talk about "killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that's really hurting us".

He even got in a quick jab about "loyalty".
How could he resist? It's in their motto, ferchrissakes!

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ge_HEeIuI


Transcript:

http://time.com/4872118/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech-transcript/


QuoteI'm waving to people back there so small I can't even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible.
By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight? One percent or zero?
(APPLAUSE)
The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke" -- you know what is -- "President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today." That's some -- that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news.

I don't have the stomach for it, but my wife watched Trump's entire speech. She told me it reminded her of a Hitler Youth Rally.

A lot of people are making that comparison. Maybe more of a pre=Jugendbund, than full blown Hitlerjugend.

You get a better feel of the crowd with that last link I posted of the video from some kid's phone. You can really hear the cracking of the voices of the pubescent youths screaming maniacally for their fuhrer. It wasn't all shouting, though. There were times the crowd got so quiet you could hear a testicle drop.

Also, at about 11 minutes (on both videos, the phone video is about 10 seconds ahead of the full video), he tries to say "road to American success", but instead says "road to American sex". As you can imagine, there was snickering and murmuring. You can't hear that on the full video.
Formerly something else...

Junkenstein

Mattis and tillerson taking breaks while representatives refuse to state that they are happy in their jobs.

So idiot, of course, bans any transgender folk from the military. Makes perfect sense.

As to the scouts speech, add it to the pile of evidence of senility that can and will eventually be used against him.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Cain

Hey now, it's perfectly possible some of those Boy Scouts voted for him.  America is apparently awash in fake IDs allowing people to vote, according to Trump. 

Bruno

Quote from: Cain on July 26, 2017, 03:45:28 PM
Hey now, it's perfectly possible some of those Boy Scouts voted for him.  America is apparently awash in fake IDs allowing people to vote, according to Trump.

I should get me some a them.
Formerly something else...

Cain

(((Soros))) can totally hook you up, once he's done undermining Poland and Hungary

In other news, I hear Trump gave a speech where he basically described how evil (((rapists))) cut young girls apart in graphic detail, and sounded more like a Nazi than ever before. 

Bruno

Quote from: Cain on July 26, 2017, 04:08:48 PM
(((Soros))) can totally hook you up, once he's done undermining Poland and Hungary

In other news, I hear Trump gave a speech where he basically described how evil (((rapists))) cut young girls apart in graphic detail, and sounded more like a Nazi than ever before.

Yeah. This one from last night in Ohio.

Immigrants "slicing and dicing":

http://www.newsweek.com/trump-says-immigrant-gang-members-slice-and-dice-young-beautiful-girls-642046


Full speech:

http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/07/25/trump-youngstown-rally-full-speech.cnn
Formerly something else...

Cain

Thanks, I've been on the move all day, and mostly without internet access, so I've only seen headlines and fragments.

Bu🤠ns

#974
Ryan Lizza
Anthony Scaramucci Called Me to Unload About White House Leakers, Reince Priebus, and Steve Bannon
He started by threatening to fire the entire White House communications staff. It escalated from there.


QuoteOn Wednesday night, I received a phone call from Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House communications director. He wasn't happy. Earlier in the night, I'd tweeted, citing a "senior White House official," that Scaramucci was having dinner at the White House with President Trump, the First Lady, Sean Hannity, and the former Fox News executive Bill Shine. It was an interesting group, and raised some questions. Was Trump getting strategic advice from Hannity? Was he considering hiring Shine? But Scaramucci had his own question—for me.

QuoteI asked him why it was so important for the dinner to be kept a secret. Surely, I said, it would become public at some point. "I've asked people not to leak things for a period of time and give me a honeymoon period," he said. "They won't do it." He was getting more and more worked up, and he eventually convinced himself that Priebus was my source.
"They'll all be fired by me," he said. "I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I'll fire tomorrow. I'll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he'll be asked to resign very shortly." The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn't been invited. "Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac," Scaramucci said. He channelled Priebus as he spoke: " 'Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.' " (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)

QuoteScaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. "I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock," he said, speaking of Trump's chief strategist. "I'm not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I'm here to serve the country." (Bannon declined to comment.)


srsly though...the whole thing....