General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[Doktor Howl]

This airliner thing is the perfect "I shot Marvin in the face" moment.

[LMNO]

I'm suddenly worried about the follow up line, "I'm an atom-bomb layin' motherfucker, motherfucker!"

[Juana]

On the day U.S. forces killed Soleimani, they targeted a senior Iranian official in Yemen.

On the day U.S. forces killed Soleimani, they targeted a senior Iranian official in Yemen
President Trump addresses the nation on Jan. 8, 2020, after an Iranian ballistic missile strike on bases used by U.S. forces in Iraq. (Evan Vucci/AP)
President Trump addresses the nation on Jan. 8, 2020, after an Iranian ballistic missile strike on bases used by U.S. forces in Iraq. (Evan Vucci/AP)
By
John Hudson,
Missy Ryan and
Josh Dawsey
Jan. 10, 2020 at 10:52 a.m. PST
On the day the U.S. military killed a top Iranian commander in Baghdad, U.S. forces carried out another top secret mission against a senior Iranian military official in Yemen, according to U.S. officials.

The strike targeting Abdul Reza Shahlai, a financier and key commander in Iran's elite Quds Force who has been active in Yemen, did not result in his death, according to four U.S. officials familiar with the matter.

The unsuccessful operation may indicate that the Trump administration's killing of Maj. Gen. Qasem Soleimani last week was part of a broader operation than previously explained, raising questions about whether the mission was designed to cripple the leadership of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps or solely to prevent an imminent attack on Americans as originally stated.

HUH

[Cain]

Further undermining the idea that the assassination was the result of an imminent terrorist threat.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Further undermining the idea that the assassination was the result of an imminent terrorist threat.

Necessity,
The tyrants' plea
- John Milton

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Whatever it was, it ought to be good for another article of impeachment. At the very least.

[Doktor Howl]

Anyone want to see Boris Johnson licking Trump's ass?  Well, you're gonna:

https://apnews.com/76ef3722e781efed91a832a44d25917d

[Cain]

He's making up for the lost time, given he essentially vanished for all of the duration of the previous incident (and the press, bizarrely, decided to grill Jeremy Corbyn and not the actual PM about what should be done).

[Doktor Howl]

He's making up for the lost time, given he essentially vanished for all of the duration of the previous incident (and the press, bizarrely, decided to grill Jeremy Corbyn and not the actual PM about what should be done).

Your press is functionally insane.  This is known.  They were all dizzy after an extensive round of the biscuit game based on Meghan Markle's "exotic DNA."

[Cramulus]

Romney Says He Will Likely Defect From GOP, Vote To Allow Impeachment Witnesses

shut the fuck up, Romney--we already know you only have a spine when your name's on a ballot

[Cain]

He's making up for the lost time, given he essentially vanished for all of the duration of the previous incident (and the press, bizarrely, decided to grill Jeremy Corbyn and not the actual PM about what should be done).

Your press is functionally insane.  This is known.  They were all dizzy after an extensive round of the biscuit game based on Meghan Markle's "exotic DNA."

Don't even get me started on that. You know I'm no fan of the Royals, but that the press were effectively able to hound two members of the Royal household out of public life - all while cheered on by obstensibly "royalist" readers - shows just how batshit insane they've gone.

And of course that she was criticised for doing the exact same things that Kate Middleton did...well apparently there's no real racism in the UK anymore, so it's just one of those things. It certainly can't be because the only real difference between the two is skin colour.

[Doktor Howl]

He's making up for the lost time, given he essentially vanished for all of the duration of the previous incident (and the press, bizarrely, decided to grill Jeremy Corbyn and not the actual PM about what should be done).

Your press is functionally insane.  This is known.  They were all dizzy after an extensive round of the biscuit game based on Meghan Markle's "exotic DNA."

Don't even get me started on that. You know I'm no fan of the Royals, but that the press were effectively able to hound two members of the Royal household out of public life - all while cheered on by obstensibly "royalist" readers - shows just how batshit insane they've gone.

And of course that she was criticised for doing the exact same things that Kate Middleton did...well apparently there's no real racism in the UK anymore, so it's just one of those things. It certainly can't be because the only real difference between the two is skin colour.

Well, yeah.  I recall mentioning that she was gonna have a rough time on account of that.

[Cain]

Yeah. I honestly didn't imagine it would be quite this bad, though.

I've been reading American reporters who live in the UK try to explain it to American readers, which is interesting. It seems by and large your tabloid newspapers keep to the celebrity crap purely, and rarely involve themselves in anything political. As such, most of your newspapers tend to be more serious and highbrow, especially when compared to the shitshow that is American cable TV, where any old lunatic can, and probably will, end up hawking their shit on national TV for everyone to see.

Our tabloids are basically your Fox News. Only we have like, 10 of them, all competing to up the crazy.

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah. I honestly didn't imagine it would be quite this bad, though.

I've been reading American reporters who live in the UK try to explain it to American readers, which is interesting. It seems by and large your tabloid newspapers keep to the celebrity crap purely, and rarely involve themselves in anything political. As such, most of your newspapers tend to be more serious and highbrow, especially when compared to the shitshow that is American cable TV, where any old lunatic can, and probably will, end up hawking their shit on national TV for everyone to see.

Our tabloids are basically your Fox News. Only we have like, 10 of them, all competing to up the crazy.

Yeah, I noticed that.  Your TV is better but your printed news is craptastic.  Here, it's the other way around.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

He's making up for the lost time, given he essentially vanished for all of the duration of the previous incident (and the press, bizarrely, decided to grill Jeremy Corbyn and not the actual PM about what should be done).

Your press is functionally insane.  This is known.  They were all dizzy after an extensive round of the biscuit game based on Meghan Markle's "exotic DNA."

Don't even get me started on that. You know I'm no fan of the Royals, but that the press were effectively able to hound two members of the Royal household out of public life - all while cheered on by obstensibly "royalist" readers - shows just how batshit insane they've gone.

And of course that she was criticised for doing the exact same things that Kate Middleton did...well apparently there's no real racism in the UK anymore, so it's just one of those things. It certainly can't be because the only real difference between the two is skin colour.

Well, yeah.  I recall mentioning that she was gonna have a rough time on account of that.

Not even skin color. She's no darker than my white ass.
More like the "one drop rule".