Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar

[Cain]

Happy genetic testing birthday Nigel.

So, I finally saw Logan.  If more comic book movies were like that, I might actually watch them.

[LMNO]

Ok, what am I missing here? Saw Deadpool, thought it was trying waaaay too hard at being fan-service, which got in the way of the comedy, and the action/violence was tepid at best, and without a knowing wink to the obvious sociopathy. Saw Logan, got absolutely no pathos, saw a distinct lack of chemistry between the actors, and the emotional beats and drama were anemic.

Is it just that the bar has been set really low, or is it that a comic's arc been reset with the Netflix model of spending 10 hours to tell a story? Because Jessica Jones and Luke Cage have been great.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks for the birthday wishes, guys!

I really enjoyed Deadpool, but also I am a stranger to the whole comics world and had no expectations.

[Junkenstein]

Ok, what am I missing here? Saw Deadpool, thought it was trying waaaay too hard at being fan-service, which got in the way of the comedy, and the action/violence was tepid at best, and without a knowing wink to the obvious sociopathy. Saw Logan, got absolutely no pathos, saw a distinct lack of chemistry between the actors, and the emotional beats and drama were anemic.

Is it just that the bar has been set really low, or is it that a comic's arc been reset with the Netflix model of spending 10 hours to tell a story? Because Jessica Jones and Luke Cage have been great.

After 5 marvel films a year there's really nothing new that they bring to the table. If you've seen a few you can pretty much predict the beat of the film without even watching them. Opening whizz-bang, intro to secondary villain, origin story, whizz-bang with secondary villain, training montage/nod to character development, intro to main villain, scuffle with secondary villain that main villain gets involved with, end/or additional whizz-bang with main villain.

It's not just you, it's just the bar is this low and predictable. Just add appropriate catchphrases and Cgi.

[Junkenstein]

And happy birthday Nigel, crush your enemies and hear the lamentations of their women etc. Or however you people celebrate.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And happy birthday Nigel, crush your enemies and hear the lamentations of their women etc. Or however you people celebrate.

DONE AND DONE.

[East Coast Hustle]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

What do you mean by all the good stuff? How would moving to the desert help? I'm sorry to hear you're possibly in(more of) a predicament.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

[MMIX]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

Job rang. He says he's missing you 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Ok, what am I missing here? Saw Deadpool, thought it was trying waaaay too hard at being fan-service, which got in the way of the comedy, and the action/violence was tepid at best, and without a knowing wink to the obvious sociopathy. Saw Logan, got absolutely no pathos, saw a distinct lack of chemistry between the actors, and the emotional beats and drama were anemic.

Is it just that the bar has been set really low, or is it that a comic's arc been reset with the Netflix model of spending 10 hours to tell a story? Because Jessica Jones and Luke Cage have been great.

Superhero movies suck as a genre.  All of them.

The Keaton Batman made me dumber, and it's been downhill since then.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

Job rang. He says he's missing you 

AND I ALONE HATH SURVIVED TO TELL THEE...Mostly because I hogged up all the Benedryl.

[East Coast Hustle]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

What allergens? Javelina poop and meth particles? Where I live the pollen and the mold are locked in a nuclear arms race vying for ultimate supremacy and I apparently have some bullshit they're calling a "hyper-reactive airway disease" which as near as I can tell is medical speak for "this is probably caused by a combination of environmental factors but without a shitload of expensive tests that aren't covered by your insurance we'll never know exactly what those are" so I imagine that anywhere drier and even slightly less allergenic (which is, basically, anywhere else in the world that people live) would be an improvement, medically speaking.

Of course, there's a whole fuck of a lot more to a man's quality of life than just being able to stay alive. But still, I'd be lying if I said that a year of struggling to breathe hasn't at least made me consider the idea.

[Ziegejunge]

Happy belated, Nigel! Hope you enjoy your 23andMe results!!!!! That was an awesome gift!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Happy belated, Nigel! Hope you enjoy your 23andMe results!!!!! That was an awesome gift!

Thank you! I'm pretty stoked to find out from where in Africa my black ancestors hail, and also whether I am really Cherokee or actually Jewish.