Author Topic: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar  (Read 232379 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1125 on: May 10, 2017, 12:54:50 am »
Not dead. Waiting on some more feedback from the test reader before Holy Nonsense is released.

Narrowly averted having to punch someone square in the dick today. Do not send me infuriating 2am texts.

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Trivial

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1126 on: May 10, 2017, 01:42:36 am »
Have to give the MST3K guys credit, they managed to go a whole movie without commenting on Jayne Mansfield's bust.

Because when I noticed it, I couldn't not say something.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1127 on: May 10, 2017, 03:39:38 am »
Have to give the MST3K guys credit, they managed to go a whole movie without commenting on Jayne Mansfield's bust.

Because when I noticed it, I couldn't not say something.

Jane Mansfield's bust was a national treasure.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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POFP

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1128 on: May 10, 2017, 11:04:52 pm »
Turns out the account they're moving me to is not only far less advanced than the one I'm currently on, but also has the same call volume in a week that I get in an hour on my current account. Also, I've just found out that the people who are on this new account conspired to get a fellow colleague of mine fired because they were annoyed by him.

He was very annoying and strange, but he was far smarter than any of them, and a much harder worker and was known to improve every system he was in. He didn't make employee of the month for nothing. He certainly didn't deserve what they did to him and his reputation.

The new team has 1, maybe 2 redeemable individuals on it. But most of them are old, bigoted, pieces of shit who get away with whatever they want because they've worked here for 10 years.

I was already promised leading responsibilities that the current tenure holder has. I believe he plans on retiring soon. Once he's gone, it'll be easy to take over the responsibilities of the rest of the team, and fill out the easiest smear report ever. Half of them will be cut from the team, and I will be taking a desirable pay raise.

But while I'm still in "training," it's all smiles   :evil:
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Trivial

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1129 on: May 10, 2017, 11:09:35 pm »
Turns out the account they're moving me to is not only far less advanced than the one I'm currently on, but also has the same call volume in a week that I get in an hour on my current account. Also, I've just found out that the people who are on this new account conspired to get a fellow colleague of mine fired because they were annoyed by him.

He was very annoying and strange, but he was far smarter than any of them, and a much harder worker and was known to improve every system he was in. He didn't make employee of the month for nothing. He certainly didn't deserve what they did to him and his reputation.

The new team has 1, maybe 2 redeemable individuals on it. But most of them are old, bigoted, pieces of shit who get away with whatever they want because they've worked here for 10 years.

I was already promised leading responsibilities that the current tenure holder has. I believe he plans on retiring soon. Once he's gone, it'll be easy to take over the responsibilities of the rest of the team, and fill out the easiest smear report ever. Half of them will be cut from the team, and I will be taking a desirable pay raise.

But while I'm still in "training," it's all smiles   :evil:

Can they be replaced by a script?
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1130 on: May 11, 2017, 01:57:09 am »
Turns out the account they're moving me to is not only far less advanced than the one I'm currently on, but also has the same call volume in a week that I get in an hour on my current account. Also, I've just found out that the people who are on this new account conspired to get a fellow colleague of mine fired because they were annoyed by him.

He was very annoying and strange, but he was far smarter than any of them, and a much harder worker and was known to improve every system he was in. He didn't make employee of the month for nothing. He certainly didn't deserve what they did to him and his reputation.

The new team has 1, maybe 2 redeemable individuals on it. But most of them are old, bigoted, pieces of shit who get away with whatever they want because they've worked here for 10 years.

I was already promised leading responsibilities that the current tenure holder has. I believe he plans on retiring soon. Once he's gone, it'll be easy to take over the responsibilities of the rest of the team, and fill out the easiest smear report ever. Half of them will be cut from the team, and I will be taking a desirable pay raise.

But while I'm still in "training," it's all smiles   :evil:

Can they be replaced by a script?

Or by less hostile human beings.

We have one (1) guy left who believes that snarling is the first option, and that skullduggery is more important than geekery.

He won't be around much longer, I gather.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

POFP

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1131 on: May 11, 2017, 05:55:29 pm »
Turns out the account they're moving me to is not only far less advanced than the one I'm currently on, but also has the same call volume in a week that I get in an hour on my current account. Also, I've just found out that the people who are on this new account conspired to get a fellow colleague of mine fired because they were annoyed by him.

He was very annoying and strange, but he was far smarter than any of them, and a much harder worker and was known to improve every system he was in. He didn't make employee of the month for nothing. He certainly didn't deserve what they did to him and his reputation.

The new team has 1, maybe 2 redeemable individuals on it. But most of them are old, bigoted, pieces of shit who get away with whatever they want because they've worked here for 10 years.

I was already promised leading responsibilities that the current tenure holder has. I believe he plans on retiring soon. Once he's gone, it'll be easy to take over the responsibilities of the rest of the team, and fill out the easiest smear report ever. Half of them will be cut from the team, and I will be taking a desirable pay raise.

But while I'm still in "training," it's all smiles   :evil:

Can they be replaced by a script?

That's the funny part. Their extra responsibilities are easily done using the basic functions included in Excel reporting. And the information gathering itself can be done with a batch script written in 10 minutes.

The only thing a script can't do is answer the 1 call a day they might receive. When I replace all of their other major responsibilities with scripts, I'll also take over all of the call volume. When they're left with nothing to do, the client will realize that all of the ticket submission is being done by one person, while they're paying our company for 7 dedicated agents. A couple conversations with the client will have them cutting my company's contracted payment to have about 3 or 4 dedicated agents (Time-off and multiple shifts still have to be covered, of course.). I'll work in a deal to have the 1 or 2 redeemables kept on, and let the rest eat a bag of shit.

Next step after that will be to train my replacement as I become the Account Coordinator.

And here I was worried I was being thrown into a hole  :lulz:

Turns out the account they're moving me to is not only far less advanced than the one I'm currently on, but also has the same call volume in a week that I get in an hour on my current account. Also, I've just found out that the people who are on this new account conspired to get a fellow colleague of mine fired because they were annoyed by him.

He was very annoying and strange, but he was far smarter than any of them, and a much harder worker and was known to improve every system he was in. He didn't make employee of the month for nothing. He certainly didn't deserve what they did to him and his reputation.

The new team has 1, maybe 2 redeemable individuals on it. But most of them are old, bigoted, pieces of shit who get away with whatever they want because they've worked here for 10 years.

I was already promised leading responsibilities that the current tenure holder has. I believe he plans on retiring soon. Once he's gone, it'll be easy to take over the responsibilities of the rest of the team, and fill out the easiest smear report ever. Half of them will be cut from the team, and I will be taking a desirable pay raise.

But while I'm still in "training," it's all smiles   :evil:

Can they be replaced by a script?

Or by less hostile human beings.

We have one (1) guy left who believes that snarling is the first option, and that skullduggery is more important than geekery.

He won't be around much longer, I gather.

Their experience with the company and account renders them immune to replacement. I wish it were that easy.

They're also organized, and meticulous. But their downfall will be their over-extended comfort and laziness.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1132 on: May 12, 2017, 01:59:19 am »
Their experience with the company and account renders them immune to replacement. I wish it were that easy.


The graveyards are full of irreplaceable people.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1133 on: May 12, 2017, 03:31:31 am »
Well, I had to get that promotion somehow.

Cain

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1134 on: May 12, 2017, 03:33:21 am »
Working on another PhD proposal.  God I hate these things.  It's like applying for a job and writing a high level paper, all rolled into one.  Oh, you only want 2500 words on my proposal, in addition to my entire life and work history.

POFP

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1135 on: May 12, 2017, 02:58:28 pm »
Their experience with the company and account renders them immune to replacement. I wish it were that easy.


The graveyards are full of irreplaceable people.

Well, there's essentially no reason for my company to think they need to be replaced. Due to lack of in-house HR, my company is very morally lazy. Even if they found out what actually happened to my former colleague, they would rather keep the conspirators than deal with having to train replacements (Apparently the training is supposed to take 2 months lol). My only option is to point out that they are costing the company too much money for what they're worth.

Well, I had to get that promotion somehow.

It's early and I'm unusually tired, so let me know if I just completely misunderstood what was going on. It took unusually long for me to even understand what Roger meant, so I'm not super confident in my comprehension skills at the moment.

I have the option of waiting a lot of extra time, and maybe, eventually getting the promotion, or I can fuck over some scumbags and get an early guaranteed promotion (Also, keep in mind that these people wouldn't be fired, they would be removed from the account and put onto another one. Another one that is likely higher volume with a greater workload. I'm not ruining anyone's career, just causing extreme inconvenience.). Are you implying that fucking over scumbags for the promotion is not the moral choice?


EDIT: Sorry, I'm retarded.

And also  :lol:
« Last Edit: May 12, 2017, 03:34:11 pm by PoFP »
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1136 on: May 12, 2017, 03:07:03 pm »
[Requia]

Cain implied that the only way to get a promotion is to kill his coworkers.

[/Requia]

POFP

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1137 on: May 12, 2017, 03:10:52 pm »
[Requia]

Cain implied that the only way to get a promotion is to kill his coworkers.

[/Requia]

Thank you for the clarification. I knew I felt unusually stupid for a reason.  :lulz:
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Cain

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1138 on: May 12, 2017, 10:37:45 pm »
If irreplaceable people are going to keep on clogging up the system, they have to be made un-irreplaceable.

I recommend sharp knives, body bags and vats of acid.

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #1139 on: May 12, 2017, 10:48:10 pm »
I'm going to need an update to my use of the word "implied".