News:

MysticWicks endorsement: "At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I'm convinced that discordians not only don't, but will actively mock anyone who does."

Main Menu

Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar

Started by Faust, December 26, 2016, 10:27:24 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Junkenstein

Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Oh no.

This will end poorly for someone. Probably multiple people.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on April 07, 2017, 02:50:19 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Is this lizard people slang for new flesh covering?

Could I suggest one slightly less...Cornish?

So, no rubber boots and scarves on the head, then?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 07, 2017, 03:16:41 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Oh no.

This will end poorly for someone. Probably multiple people.

My boss is adorable.  Everything will be fine.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Dress for the job you want. *Looks at own avatar in horrific shame*

In other news found a beer cheaper than Old Milwaukee on sale! $10 30 Pk of Hamm's


... gonna get Hammered.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 07, 2017, 05:16:30 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Dress for the job you want. *Looks at own avatar in horrific shame*

In other news found a beer cheaper than Old Milwaukee on sale! $10 30 Pk of Hamm's


... gonna get Hammered.

They still make that horrible shit?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 05:44:11 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 07, 2017, 05:16:30 AM
Quote from: Captain Pike on April 07, 2017, 02:14:08 AM
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Dress for the job you want. *Looks at own avatar in horrific shame*

In other news found a beer cheaper than Old Milwaukee on sale! $10 30 Pk of Hamm's


... gonna get Hammered.

They still make that horrible shit?

Yup. It's not as bad as some things, but almost impossible to drink enough to get really drunk on due to the frothy tase of hops and shame. In fairness I wasn't drinking it alone, and have about 19 left, but it's like I'd need to really COMMIT to the deed to down enough to get properly hammered. I did get a pleasant evening's conversation but that had more to do with the company than the beverage choice.

Maybe this weekend I'll really put some away. It's almost like the beer equivalent of self shaming, but not even having the decency to be truly unpleasant to imbibe in the way that say Steel Reserve or even Old English would be. It's painfully plain. We'll see how the hangover treats me, but I'm not expecting anything worth writing home about.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Bruno

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 07, 2017, 09:05:00 AM


Yup. It's not as bad as some things, but almost impossible to drink enough to get really drunk on due to the frothy tase of hops and shame. In fairness I wasn't drinking it alone, and have about 19 left, but it's like I'd need to really COMMIT to the deed to down enough to get properly hammered. I did get a pleasant evening's conversation but that had more to do with the company than the beverage choice.

Maybe this weekend I'll really put some away. It's almost like the beer equivalent of self shaming, but not even having the decency to be truly unpleasant to imbibe in the way that say Steel Reserve or even Old English would be. It's painfully plain. We'll see how the hangover treats me, but I'm not expecting anything worth writing home about.


Have you tried the Steel Reserve "Alloy Series" drinks, yet? 16 oz @ 8%.  Beer store by my house has them for $.99.

I like the purple one. Goes well with Spaghetti-Os and Beanie weenies from the Dollar General next door.
Formerly something else...

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Emo Howard on April 07, 2017, 12:28:16 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 07, 2017, 09:05:00 AM


Yup. It's not as bad as some things, but almost impossible to drink enough to get really drunk on due to the frothy tase of hops and shame. In fairness I wasn't drinking it alone, and have about 19 left, but it's like I'd need to really COMMIT to the deed to down enough to get properly hammered. I did get a pleasant evening's conversation but that had more to do with the company than the beverage choice.

Maybe this weekend I'll really put some away. It's almost like the beer equivalent of self shaming, but not even having the decency to be truly unpleasant to imbibe in the way that say Steel Reserve or even Old English would be. It's painfully plain. We'll see how the hangover treats me, but I'm not expecting anything worth writing home about.


Have you tried the Steel Reserve "Alloy Series" drinks, yet? 16 oz @ 8%.  Beer store by my house has them for $.99.

I like the purple one. Goes well with Spaghetti-Os and Beanie weenies from the Dollar General next door.
I've never seen it in Wisconsin. You can get a 4loko for about two bucks, and a 24 od redd's wicked ale for 2.50 per at 8%.

Even my hangover is disappointing. But at .33 cents per can on sale I don't have much complaint coming.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Cain

I remember when ECH was reviewing shitty 4loko flavours.  Dark times, man, dark times.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Cain on April 07, 2017, 04:50:57 PM
I remember when ECH was reviewing shitty 4loko flavours.  Dark times, man, dark times.

I spotted a "gold" 4loko flavor in the walk-in beer cooler at the grocery store. I was tempted, but upon seeing the 30pk for $10 I knew where the Hand of Fate was leading me... to a bland mediocrity. Cheap!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Addendum: About two ounces of pineapple lemonade with a Hamm's poured unceremoniously into it to remove the excess carbonation tastes exactly like a Leinenkugel's "Summer Shandy"... which is something. Not sure if a good something.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

Had a chat with the new boss.  It's jeans, polo shirts, and jeans.  So the same as before, with a collar.   :lulz:

My new boss is adorable.  She's just like Jim...including calling me at 8PM on a Friday night from the office to go over a few things.  This bodes well, actually.  I'm hourly (at least for 90 days), and I can seriously use the cash, as my reserves are pretty damn low, as all I've done for the last 4 months is piece-work consulting.

She is also like Jim in that she worries an awful lot, but seems to be able to pull cash from the corporate overlords in sufficient amounts.  And ALSO like Jim in that I am the dude writing the budget.  This is in fact starting to look like the glory days at SASOL, with less exploding equipment, but far harsher penalties for failure (ie, water, sewers, etc not working for a massive research facility.  300 acres of exploding toilets seems to be the worst possible outcome, but I've been wrong before.)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

Excellent news there. I eagerly await the first catastrophic fuckup.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on April 08, 2017, 03:29:19 AM
Addendum: About two ounces of pineapple lemonade with a Hamm's poured unceremoniously into it to remove the excess carbonation tastes exactly like a Leinenkugel's "Summer Shandy"... which is something. Not sure if a good something.

I used to drink Hamms and orange juice, AKA "Hamosas". Pretty damn decent. Then I discovered Rainier grapefruit shandy, and here we are today.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Yesterday I got to open up the abdomen of our cadaver, and clean the fat off a kidney. It was pretty damn cool! I particularly enjoyed the scalpel work, as there is some undefinable pleasure in making a careful, clean incision that cuts only the layer you want to cut. It's like... flying, but with a knife.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."