Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar

[Trivial]

Geh that application that wanted my transcript is sending me emails about them calling and me not answering.  No missed calls on the only number provided.  No typos in number on application.  Idiots.

They make one of the largest healthcare database systems in the country, and from what I've seen of it I just wonder how many people actually work on it.  It shouldn't be that complex of a program yet somehow they made it so my current company's spiffy AI can't interface with it.

They've taken over a nearby town and I suspect most of the people are on site install techs and sales reps.

[Don Coyote]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

The shitty desert air is one of the reasons why I stayed the fuck up in the PNW.

[Trivial]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

On a scale of 1 to Australia, how much does the desert want to kill you?

[Cain]

Oh yay, the Princess is back.

The princess student couldn't possibly sleep without 2 duvets.  It's far too cold in the UK to do so, unlike her native Bulgaria.  Not only that, she will die of exposure unless the heating is fixed.  As she keeps reminding us, several times a day.  While looking down her nose at everyone because we don't drop everything we are doing to instantly solve her very dire problems.

She's here until Sunday.

She did this exact same thing last year, when she was also here for a week.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

On a scale of 1 to Australia, how much does the desert want to kill you?

Different deserts have different ratings. The Sonoran Desert wants you dead at a solid "Ciudad Juarez circa 2009". Luckily, people have appeased it by baking their brains out in the AZ afternoon sun, presenting themselves as slow-roasted human sacrifices to the the god of leather skin. It's almost better than killing us outright.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

On a scale of 1 to Australia, how much does the desert want to kill you?

Paul Walker.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh yay, the Princess is back.

The princess student couldn't possibly sleep without 2 duvets.  It's far too cold in the UK to do so, unlike her native Bulgaria.  Not only that, she will die of exposure unless the heating is fixed.  As she keeps reminding us, several times a day.  While looking down her nose at everyone because we don't drop everything we are doing to instantly solve her very dire problems.

She's here until Sunday.

She did this exact same thing last year, when she was also here for a week.

Is she smart enough to recognize irony?

[Cain]

Alas, no.  This is the truly unbearable aspect of my job, that my weaponised-grade sarcasm and irony are often unappreciated by people for whom English is a 4th language, behind their native language, Entitlement and Derp.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Alas, no.  This is the truly unbearable aspect of my job, that my weaponised-grade sarcasm and irony are often unappreciated by people for whom English is a 4th language, behind their native language, Entitlement and Derp.

See, this is where you see how far you can go before they realize you're laughing at them.

I mean, this is basic British, here.

[Cain]

There's nothing in the manual about what to do when you're one step away from printing off a translated sign in Mandarin stating "I am mocking you" and giving it to a student, because all other efforts have failed.

I mean, it's helping me cope, I suppose, so there is that.

In other news, a student ran back home and I was not informed, despite the student being in my care.  Said student was suffering a lot of stress from upcoming exams, and communicated her worries to my manager, who in his usual tactful manner, told her to come back in a week to discuss the issue, so his 4 day weekend would not be disturbed.  Naturally, this led to the student booking a flight back to China, and duly informing the school about 3 hours before she left.  This is especially remarkable because it came on the heels of our pointless "training", which dealt in part with assisting students with mental health issues.  Also remarkable because the student's departure went unnoticed because the only day staff member was on a break when she left the building.

[Junkenstein]

Alas, no.  This is the truly unbearable aspect of my job, that my weaponised-grade sarcasm and irony are often unappreciated by people for whom English is a 4th language, behind their native language, Entitlement and Derp.

See, this is where you see how far you can go before they realize you're laughing at them.

I mean, this is basic British, here.

It's a lost cause over here. I was laughing into someones face a couple of weeks back. They joined in.

"No. Stop. I'm laughing at you, not with you, and you're ruining it".

No sense of decorum here anymore. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There's nothing in the manual about what to do when you're one step away from printing off a translated sign in Mandarin stating "I am mocking you" and giving it to a student, because all other efforts have failed.

I mean, it's helping me cope, I suppose, so there is that.

In other news, a student ran back home and I was not informed, despite the student being in my care.  Said student was suffering a lot of stress from upcoming exams, and communicated her worries to my manager, who in his usual tactful manner, told her to come back in a week to discuss the issue, so his 4 day weekend would not be disturbed.  Naturally, this led to the student booking a flight back to China, and duly informing the school about 3 hours before she left.  This is especially remarkable because it came on the heels of our pointless "training", which dealt in part with assisting students with mental health issues.  Also remarkable because the student's departure went unnoticed because the only day staff member was on a break when she left the building.

Jesus fuck.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

ECH, there's always Eastern WA!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

(Mostly kidding. But also kinda not.)

[Trivial]

I like the fact that many of my friends don't have typical jobs.  Today a friend of mine posted:

Does anyone have a screen tent I can borrow? I need to fill it with bees. Seriously.