Hello. Assuming you're not a google-spider thing or a wrathful ex-member seeking your glorious revenge, there are a few things you need to know, and a few things we need to know. I'll start with what we need to know:
1. Who the hell are you, and how did you find this place? You're a cop, right? Yeah you are. Or you're wearing a wire. I can smell that shit, and you are most definitely some kind of spy for government agencies that never heard of us and wouldn't care if they did. Fess up.
2. Why on Earth would you join a religion that worships a Greek God...And not just ANY Greek God, but the one all the OTHER Greek Gods thought was a troublemaker? You're just asking for it, you know.
3. Do you know any good recipes? Because we have a section for that, and I'm trying to learn to cook.
Now, what you need to know:
1. We've read the Principia Discordia (and we don't advise it to anyone). We have all seen every Monty Python movie ever made. Quoting either one gets you The Punishment™. Or at least gets you ignored.
2. We are a bundle of bad wiring, so don't try to be the weirdest person in the room your first time out. Absurdism only works if it's funny, and word salad isn't funny.
3. Nobody here believes that "all opinions are of equal value", so be warned: If you're spouting alt-right shit or the dogma of lesser religions, you're going to get laughed at.
4. We only have 6 rules that get you banned. Learn them.
5. If you want to pimp your music or your art or anything like that, please restrict it to the subforum "Bring & Brag". If that's all you're here to do, shove off.
6. Our board's owner ("The Mgt") left in disgust recently. That should tell you what you're in for. The board is currently run by an Irish guy who doesn't give a shit about any of us. He just sits in a drafty castle in Ireland somewhere, eating corned beef and listening to The Bay City Rollers on Pandora. He doesn't care if we live or die.
7. There are two admins and one moderator that are here on a semi-regular basis...Myself, Cain, and LMNO. We don't care if you're being trolled or whatnot, we only care about the 6 bannable offenses. Again, learn them. If someone's giving you grief, use the ignore function. If one of the admins is that person, you can't ignore us, so just scroll on by.
All that being said, go ahead and introduce yourself. People will say "Hi, new guy!", because we've lost our mojo and can't bring ourselves to shit on noobs like back in the day. We apologize for this, and hope you are not too disappointed.
