I have a few suggestions I came up with a while ago for a similar thread on another forum:
"Warm feelings will not protect you from dying of hypothermia"
"Keep your eyes open and you will see true horrors"
"You have a reputation for being brusque and overly blunt"
"Someone close to you is waiting for you to die"
"Life is too short to stay married"
"Your efforts will go unrewarded"
"An unpleasant surprise is waiting for you"
"Consume less. You're fat enough now"
"A very attractive person has an insult for you"
"There is no greater pleasure than necrophilia"
"Your will find the answers you seek, but learn that you have asked the wrong questions"
"You will flee to many exotic places in your lifetime"
"A bird in the hand will shit on you"
"Follow your bliss and poverty will follow"
"Money cannot buy happiness, buy it can buy Ecstacy"
""You have failed"
"Evil will always win because good is dumb"
"Freedom and love are temporary illusions created by an intellect trying to justify an existence without meaning or purpose"
"Man has no preeminence above the beasts, for everything is meaningless"
"You will be denied an award due to suspicions of doping"
"Adversity is the parent of injury"
"Necessity is the mother of starvation"
"Serious trouble will befall you"
"You will bring ruin to those that you love"
"Your thoughtlessness is a detriment to others"
"You will be plagued by nightmares"
"They're coming to get you"
"Illuminati run the country. Wear a hat made out of foil"
"You will get diabetes from eating too many cookies"
"Your lover has been unfaithful"
"Criminals will find your posessions pleasing"
"There are some things man was not meant to know"
"Hot times await you in the next world"
"Nothing is certain except death and taxes"
"The police are catching up to you"
"You will find misery in a new career"
"You will be revealed as a fraud"
"Your house is being robbed"
"You will be haunted by the past"
"You excel at failure"
"Beelzebub has a devil set aside for you"
"You will find true love in a cemetary"
"Death stalks us all"
"Repent, for the end is near"
"You will develop an embarassing medical problem"
"A secret admirer is stalking you"
"Now is the time to take a long walk off a short pier"
"Rest has a detrimental effect on your career"
"Attenuate your desires"
"You will be taken advantage of for your patience and understanding"
"An exciting disease in in your future"
"You will be given the chance to take part in an exciting crime"
"Death waits for no one"
"An acquaintance will frame you for murder"
"Poverty is in your future"
"A surgeon will misread your chart"
"Nobody can do the impossible"
"Superior technology will triumph over the human spirit"
"You are never helpful with your help or advice"
"You will endure razot-sharp edged criticism today"
"A family member will yell at you"
"Laugh at the grief that poisons your heart"
"Tomorrow will be worse"
"Your spouse will find happiness with a new love"
"The cure for grief is suicide"
"A live dog is better than a dead lion"
"With an abundance of wisdom comes an abundance of grief"
"He who increases his wisdom increases too his sorrow"
"A devious lie could save your life"
"Look what you have done. There will be no forgiveness"
"All of your sorrows will vanish after death"
"Your success will inspire feelings of sour-grapes"
"The thing you dread will be worse than you imagined"
"You are forever cursed"
"You have made a terrible mistake"
"Hormone therapy is no substitute for a womb"
"You will die alone and unremembered"
"You will be disfigured but nobody will notice"
"People are laughing behind your back"
"Your failure will be celebrated"
"Your value system is dying"
"You will free yourself of ignorance only to latch on to folly"
"No amount of success can stave off senescence and death"
"Trophies and awards are no comfort on your deathbed"
"Someone dangerously incompetant will be given authority over you"
"If you run as fast as you can you may have a chance of not falling behind"
"You will suffer a humiliating injury"
"You will die an untimely death"
"Do not stop seeking until you find, and when you find you will be disturbed"
"Don't bother looking for fault, it is all around you"
"There is inequity in the places of justice"
"That which is crooked cannot be made straight"
"You will have a reaction to MSG"
"There is not a man on earth who does good and sins not"
"Your co-workers take pleasure in your gullibility"
"You will be mistaken for a criminal"
"Decrepitude is in your future"
"You are a person who can be safely ignored"
"A wrongful conviction os in store for you"
"There is nothing you can do to correct your mistakes"
"'Fortune-Telling is the beginning of Ignorance' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"'When the Tao is forgotten, there is righteousness. When righteousness is forgotten, there is morality. When morality is forgotten, there are law and ritual; these have only the superficial appearance of goodness' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"'The highest virtue is inaction' -Tao Te Ching 38"
"It takes a bad memory to have good memories"
"Don't cry, it's a waste of good suffering"
"Your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell"
"There is a secret song at the center of the world and it's sound is like razors through flesh"
"Your car is being stolen"
"Your lover will laugh at your small penis"
"The worst is still to come"
"Death is only the beginning"
"Flies are naturally attracted to you"
"A shiv is your passport into the hearts of others"
"Fleeing adversity is the source of your strength"
"Land is always on the mind of a falling lemming"
"You cannot love life until you get your daily fix"
"You will become narcissisistic if you believe in yourself"
"You will have to pay your lover"
"Keep an eye out for muggers"
"Now is the time to try heroin"
"A new voyage will fill your life with untold misery"
"Death awaits you very soon"
"Your natural incompetance dooms you to failure"
"Now is the time to abandon your convictions"
"Stop worrying and agonizing. Give up."
"Your darkest dream is coming true"
"Life does not get better by chance, only worse"
"Do not worry, you will have great peace in the grave"
"A detractor is hiding his or her contempt for you"
"You will be rewarded for being a kiss-ass this week"
"A close friend will betray you"
"You will soon debunk a miracle"
"War conquers all"
"The early worm gets the bird"
"Hope brings about disappointment"
"Trying is the first step towards failure"
"You will acquire a fortune"
"Today is not your lucky day"
"You will go on a long journey for 6-10 years when the cops catch on to you"
"Machiavelli Say: 'It is better to be feared than loved'"
"Machiavelli say: 'There are two methods of fighting, the one by law, the other by force; as the first is often insufficient, one must have recourse to the second'"
"Machiavelli say: 'A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise'"
"A nightmare you have will come true"
"Your best friend will marry your lover"
"If you feel you are right, you're even stupider than you look"
"Everyone agrees. You are the worst."
"Your golden opportunity passed by recently"
"You will always be surrounded by sycophants"
"Stop dreaming. Start giving up."
"Sinister forces control your destiny"
"Fortune favors the rich"
"A journety of 25000 miles will take you nowhere"
"Happiness comes from a good lie"
"You will be unsuccessful in love"
"A lifetime of heartache is in store for you"
"Nothing ever happens for a reason"
"God is dead"
"When you have become old and wise you will also be withered and crippled"
"Failure is an opportunity for admonition"
"Neitzsche say: 'What is good? All that heighten feeling of power'"
"Neitzsche say: 'There are no facts, only interpretations'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Whoever not have two-thirds of day for himself, is a slave, whatever he may be: a statesman, a businessman, an official, or a scholar'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Convictions more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Visit to an asylum show you how little belief worth'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Merit itself is offensive.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Unpleasant, dangerous, qualities can be found in every nation and every individual.'"
"Neitzsche say: 'Whoever fight monsters risk becoming a monster'"
