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Things people don't think about when they think about a "Type A" personality

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, June 12, 2017, 02:10:02 AM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

The first time someone told me I had a "Type A" personality, I was offended.

I had always associated the so-called type A personality with the sorts of people I held in the lowest regard; stockbrokers, CEOs, bankers, high-power sales. Mercenaries, in my mind, out to make a buck at the expense of the naive and the optimistic.

Over time, though, and after pursuing an education that included deep analysis of the origins of personality and temperament, I came to understand what "Type A" is shorthand for, and I realize now that the person who called me that is completely correct. I understand and acknowledge that I am one of those high-energy, ambitious, nonstop control freaks. I also understand why, and what the consequences are for those of us who fall into this unfortunate bin.

Type A people are driven, to start with. Where other people deal with anxiety by withdrawing and feeling drained or powerless, we deal with it by PUSHING AS HARD AS WE CAN against whatever makes us anxious. We are convinced that if we flinch or look away, That Thing will win, so we engage our natural propensity toward hypervigilance and NEVER LOOK AWAY. We are convinced that if we stare hard enough, we can win.

RELAX, the articles tell us, TYPE A PERSONALITIES ARE MORE PRONE TO HEART DISEASE AND HYPERTENSION AND STROKE.

Relax? Are you shitting me? That's how they get us, we know that! If we relax everything will fall apart. If we look away, we will lose and That Badness will win. OK, yeah, I know that I will die younger and more horribly than I need to, but if I can stay on top of everything, then the people I care about will be safe, and isn't that the point? Isn't that why I do all of this?

If we falter in our vigilance, SOMEONE WE LOVE WILL DIE. I have proof. I know this firsthand. I failed in my vigilance, I let my control slip, and I lost my son. I failed. I looked away. And the consequences were everything I ever feared, they were what I became this way to prevent in the first place.

So you go on and relax, you kick back and have your blanket-fort days. Indulge yourself by doing nothing, take care of your heart and your beloved, fragile spirit. We will be watching. We will always be vigilant. We will kill ourselves with the sheer will to protect you, because we love you, and we know the consequences of failing in our duty.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Q. G. Pennyworth

Ow.

I wish I had a more substantial reaction for you. This is well written and hurts.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Thanks, QG. I've made a decision to write about this more, and the only place I really feel like I can post about it is here, so I apologize in advance because some of my upcoming posts are gonna be real bummers.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 12, 2017, 07:34:21 PM
Thanks, QG. I've made a decision to write about this more, and the only place I really feel like I can post about it is here, so I apologize in advance because some of my upcoming posts are gonna be real bummers.

I'm the last person you should apologize to, I vomited all my fucks here after mom died.