Democrats Decide to Just Go Ahead and Implode

[POFP]

It's like that shopping cart at the store that's got month-old coupons sitting in the top compartment, and the front wheels haven't turned properly since the store opened. And you're pretty sure that every time the front-left wheel does turn, an orphan dies. At least, that's what it sounds like.

The employees hear the noise as you use extra effort to push the cart along, but they don't care. That cart will be there for years to come. Eventually people will look back on what the cart used to be and think "Ah, when carts used to roll smoothly. Those were the days." But people weren't even alive for those days, and the carts were actually hand-baskets, because carts have never rolled smoothly.

But people will continue to say the wheels will roll smoothly if we just "make them the way we used to."

New people will come in and say we need to replace the wheels, and it will be fixed. Others will say we need to remove the coupons, or the top compartment altogether. And some people will say we need to go back to hand-baskets, but no one listens to those freaks.

And that's where we come in. We WD-40 them wheels, fill the cart up with FUCKING ORANGES, and send that bad-boy full-force, straight into the canned-goods isle.

That's an incredibly accurate illustration. Left-right ideology seems to be either about returning to a past that never existed, or moving towards an impossible future.

Thanks. That's what I was going for.

Problem is, we don't have enough FUCKING ORANGES, and they banned the "WD-40" in all important states except California, Colorado, and Nevada. Not to mention, the canned-good isle is currently occupied by Roger. But that's okay, he's just preparing it for the real party.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Just over a year ago, progressives and Democratic voters had a chance to really change things - to reform not just the Democratic party, but the country as well. Establishment Politics was the theme of Election 2016, and the Established Left shot themselves in the foot trying to stamp out the revolution.

They blew an election that they should have had in the bag.

Meanwhile, American progressives, in their march towards acceptance and equality, found themselves unsatisfied with all of the accomplishments they had made over the last eight years and actually began to alienate those to the right by entitling themselves to a brand of political correctness so far ahead of its time that even the moderates found themselves unable to defend it. Identity politics mixed with a right-wing paranoia of losing cultural control and created the Alt-Right, a band of misfits and misanthropes who not only delighted in triggering the left into abandoning their civility, but were masters of navigating the means to do so.

Winning that election empowered them to come out in full force and declare their pride in revisionist monuments to dead men who fought on the wrong side of history; a history that the cities they reside in have finally begun to evolve beyond. But it wasn't enough to show up in a sea of blinding whiteness. They came out in full cosplay as the one thing the left hates most.

And the progressives, so easily distracted, didn't take this opportunity to reexamine their ideology or the political party that had cannibalized itself in vain. They didn't try to figure out where they went wrong or why they lost. Instead, the radicals shouted "Hey, everyone! Look at the Nazis!"

And they looked.

The parties are built on not being the other guy, not about what they are for, but it's been this way for awhile, it's just exploded to this level of loud, screeching gridlock.  And so we're now in the period where both parties are going to, not elect the person with the best platform and ideals, but the one who's best at being a carnival barker.

The solution? There is no solution. 

Buckle up and enjoy going nowhere.

Welcome to all of humanity's political history.

And yet the wheels somehow stay on the cart.

It's like that shopping cart at the store that's got month-old coupons sitting in the top compartment, and the front wheels haven't turned properly since the store opened. And you're pretty sure that every time the front-left wheel does turn, an orphan dies. At least, that's what it sounds like.

The employees hear the noise as you use extra effort to push the cart along, but they don't care. That cart will be there for years to come. Eventually people will look back on what the cart used to be and think "Ah, when carts used to roll smoothly. Those were the days." But people weren't even alive for those days, and the carts were actually hand-baskets, because carts have never rolled smoothly.

But people will continue to say the wheels will roll smoothly if we just "make them the way we used to."

New people will come in and say we need to replace the wheels, and it will be fixed. Others will say we need to remove the coupons, or the top compartment altogether. And some people will say we need to go back to hand-baskets, but no one listens to those freaks.

And that's where we come in. We WD-40 them wheels, fill the cart up with FUCKING ORANGES, and send that bad-boy full-force, straight into the canned-goods isle.

You're having an exceptional case of The Holies™ right now. 

PREACH MORE, PLS.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It's like that shopping cart at the store that's got month-old coupons sitting in the top compartment, and the front wheels haven't turned properly since the store opened. And you're pretty sure that every time the front-left wheel does turn, an orphan dies. At least, that's what it sounds like.

The employees hear the noise as you use extra effort to push the cart along, but they don't care. That cart will be there for years to come. Eventually people will look back on what the cart used to be and think "Ah, when carts used to roll smoothly. Those were the days." But people weren't even alive for those days, and the carts were actually hand-baskets, because carts have never rolled smoothly.

But people will continue to say the wheels will roll smoothly if we just "make them the way we used to."

New people will come in and say we need to replace the wheels, and it will be fixed. Others will say we need to remove the coupons, or the top compartment altogether. And some people will say we need to go back to hand-baskets, but no one listens to those freaks.

And that's where we come in. We WD-40 them wheels, fill the cart up with FUCKING ORANGES, and send that bad-boy full-force, straight into the canned-goods isle.

That's an incredibly accurate illustration. Left-right ideology seems to be either about returning to a past that never existed, or moving towards an impossible future.

Thanks. That's what I was going for.

Problem is, we don't have enough FUCKING ORANGES, and they banned the "WD-40" in all important states except California, Colorado, and Nevada. Not to mention, the canned-good isle is currently occupied by Roger. But that's okay, he's just preparing it for the real party.

I'm just trying to see how many cans of tuna will fit in my ass.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, impossible futures are the only kind worth having.

Do great things or die miserably in the crash.

Hell, do both.

[POFP]

You're having an exceptional case of The Holies™ right now. 

PREACH MORE, PLS.

Thank you, I might later if I get some time.

Thanks. That's what I was going for.

Problem is, we don't have enough FUCKING ORANGES, and they banned the "WD-40" in all important states except California, Colorado, and Nevada. Not to mention, the canned-good isle is currently occupied by Roger. But that's okay, he's just preparing it for the real party.

I'm just trying to see how many cans of tuna will fit in my ass.

See? I knew he would turn this party into a RAGER.

Also, impossible futures are the only kind worth having.

Do great things or die miserably in the crash.

Hell, do both.

I had never really thought about it this way before. Congratulations Roger, you've just converted a Conservative Romantic into a Liberal.

You and Nigel always had a way of changing my mind with just words. Often times, it only took one line.

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

I'm just trying to see how many cans of tuna will fit in my ass.

It's more fun if you use live tuna and raw iron.

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

impossible futures are the only kind worth having.

I disagree, and yet, in a way, I agree. Either way, I like this quote.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

What good is achieving something that's possible? You don't prove anything and you don't learn anything that way. Trying to achieve the impossible is the only way forward, and even when you inevitably fail, you'll often be surprised by how close you came to succeeding. You'll make progress in spite of your failure.

I meant to add something snide here at the end but I couldn't think of anything.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

Perhaps what we really need then is an Impossible Party.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What good is achieving something that's possible? You don't prove anything and you don't learn anything that way. Trying to achieve the impossible is the only way forward, and even when you inevitably fail, you'll often be surprised by how close you came to succeeding. You'll make progress in spite of your failure.

I meant to add something snide here at the end but I couldn't think of anything.

Ron the Engineer: "I don't know if I'm cut out for this job.  It's insane."

TGRR:  "Shhh.  We're going to do great things."

[P3nT4gR4m]

Possible is huddling in a dark cave, picking fleas out each others fur and wishing for bison. Literally everything else humans have accomplished used to be impossible.

[LMNO]

Possible is huddling in a dark cave, picking fleas out each others fur and wishing for bison. Literally everything else humans have accomplished used to be impossible.

[POFP]

Possible is huddling in a dark cave, picking fleas out each others fur and wishing for bison. Literally everything else humans have accomplished used to be impossible.

for sure.



You guys mind if I use these recent quotes about "possible vs impossible?" I think I know a few people who might need to hear them, just as I did.

Let me know who I should credit them to, as well.

Also, if one of these was turned into a poster, I'd put it up in my apartment. And possibly all over town.


Edited for clarity.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Anything I write is up for grabs. Credit me, credit someone else, take the credit yourself if you want. I don't give a fuck.

[LMNO]

Also, paging QG for Big Words.