Author Topic: Random Internet Horror, Part 1  (Read 5999 times)

Jenne

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2011, 08:58:06 pm »
HIS BROTHER?

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #46 on: August 14, 2013, 08:32:04 pm »
http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/

Look at this page.  By the bottom, you'll wish you'd been born in Sierra Leone or some other, more civilized place.  Seriously.  This is kitsch hell.  I mean, who the FUCK takes pictures of the tour bus driver?  And why does everyone look like they're trying not to scream?

Hell, the lead off pic is bad enough.

Holy shit, I hate humanity, even when they're not being outright assholes.

Bump because Branson.
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Cramulus

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #47 on: August 14, 2013, 08:38:17 pm »
:vom:

All I know about Branson is the collection of wretched VHS videos that EverythingIsTerrible.com has been collecting.

It's one of those places that Neil Gaiman described as America's equivalent of the holy spot. Like, if you drive around Europe there are all these 500 year old churches and mystical valleys and spots which drew people there and they had to do something religious.

In America, somebody recognized the inherent holiness of those spots and capitalized on them. They're all road side tourist traps. And places like Branson, which are midway between the two. HOLY LAND USA comes to mind too.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #48 on: August 14, 2013, 08:52:29 pm »
:vom:

All I know about Branson is the collection of wretched VHS videos that EverythingIsTerrible.com has been collecting.

It's one of those places that Neil Gaiman described as America's equivalent of the holy spot. Like, if you drive around Europe there are all these 500 year old churches and mystical valleys and spots which drew people there and they had to do something religious.

In America, somebody recognized the inherent holiness of those spots and capitalized on them. They're all road side tourist traps. And places like Branson, which are midway between the two. HOLY LAND USA comes to mind too.

And they smeared Dolly Parton all over it.  Because nothing says "Holy Spot" like saccharine.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #49 on: August 14, 2013, 10:26:28 pm »
As best as I can tell from google maps, Branson makes a kind of smushed upside down pyramid with Graceland and Dollywood. I think the Opry is in it.
Need to work up some kind of Illuminati thing.  :lol:
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #50 on: August 15, 2013, 01:18:11 am »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #51 on: August 15, 2013, 01:22:44 am »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #52 on: August 15, 2013, 01:27:36 am »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"

No, I am actually pretty sure that the people who put this http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/ up are really pretty damn happy.

Angel figurines and flowerpots with personality.

It doesn't take much to make my dog happy, either.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #53 on: August 15, 2013, 03:14:51 am »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"

No, I am actually pretty sure that the people who put this http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/ up are really pretty damn happy.

Angel figurines and flowerpots with personality.

It doesn't take much to make my dog happy, either.

I always got the feeling that underneath, they're SEETHING.

And they want to shred everything that's NOT Precious Moments/happy flowerpots/angels. With their TEETH.
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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #54 on: August 16, 2013, 10:38:44 pm »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"

No, I am actually pretty sure that the people who put this http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/ up are really pretty damn happy.

Angel figurines and flowerpots with personality.

It doesn't take much to make my dog happy, either.

I always got the feeling that underneath, they're SEETHING.

And they want to shred everything that's NOT Precious Moments/happy flowerpots/angels. With their TEETH.

I've known some people like them, and they were basically simple and mostly happy. They get mad or scared about dumb things and it's easy to hurt their feelings but they recover quickly. I think we make a mistake in attributing to them excessive layers of complexity.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #55 on: August 16, 2013, 10:46:23 pm »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"

No, I am actually pretty sure that the people who put this http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/ up are really pretty damn happy.

Angel figurines and flowerpots with personality.

It doesn't take much to make my dog happy, either.

I always got the feeling that underneath, they're SEETHING.

And they want to shred everything that's NOT Precious Moments/happy flowerpots/angels. With their TEETH.

I've known some people like them, and they were basically simple and mostly happy. They get mad or scared about dumb things and it's easy to hurt their feelings but they recover quickly. I think we make a mistake in attributing to them excessive layers of complexity.

Probably true.  I find that I don't WANT them to be that simple.  But what I want and what the universe IS are often very different.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Random Internet Horror, Part 1
« Reply #56 on: August 16, 2013, 11:01:30 pm »
Those are probably the happiest people on earth.

Think about it.

Not really.  But boy, do they SMILE a lot.  They smile like people in Phoenix smile.  "EVERYTHING IS GREAT!  I FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU THINK I MAY BELIEVE OTHERWISE!"

No, I am actually pretty sure that the people who put this http://www.kodachrome.org/branson/ up are really pretty damn happy.

Angel figurines and flowerpots with personality.

It doesn't take much to make my dog happy, either.

I always got the feeling that underneath, they're SEETHING.

And they want to shred everything that's NOT Precious Moments/happy flowerpots/angels. With their TEETH.

I've known some people like them, and they were basically simple and mostly happy. They get mad or scared about dumb things and it's easy to hurt their feelings but they recover quickly. I think we make a mistake in attributing to them excessive layers of complexity.

Probably true.  I find that I don't WANT them to be that simple.  But what I want and what the universe IS are often very different.

The thing to remember is that they aren't the bad guys. The bad guys are the people who know they're simple, and manipulate that simplicity for their own gain.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


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