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Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase

Started by Cain, July 12, 2017, 09:47:44 AM

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Bruno

Quote from: Trivial on August 14, 2017, 06:25:03 AM
Quote from: Emo Howard on August 14, 2017, 05:13:09 AM
Quote from: Trivial on August 14, 2017, 05:05:34 AM
Grr annoyed at people's faulty memories.  "I remember when we could leave doors unlocked, we didn't have to worry about x y or z crime."

Yes we did.  We locked the fucking doors. Though I suppose it was your parents worrying and not you.

I just paid attention as a kid I guess.

My parents' house was broken into almost immediately after it was build back in the 60s. They religiously locked their doors whenever they left the house, and before going to bed at night my entire childhood, and even to this day. they lived, and still live in rural Tennessee

Today, I also live in rural Tennessee, and NEVER lock my doors. Though when I did live in town, I I locked doors, and it really pissed me off that my roommate refused to lock the door behind him when he left in the morning, and I was still asleep for a few hours after he left, even though I asked him nicely. It wasn't a terrible neighborhood, but it wasn't that great, either.

Wow, I mean, in any area where there's people there's the off chance some drunk will think it's their place and wander in.  Or maybe that's just Wisconsin.


Nope, not just Wisconsin. That actually happened to me once many years ago, now. Roommates left beer sitting outside on the porch. Huge old drunk guy sees them, and decided to walk in and ask if he can have one. I was home alone in bed at the time, and heard someone yelling in the house. I got up and opened my bedroom door, and there was this big drunk guy standing there rambling about his life story.

Apparently, he was the ex-husband of the super-weird, super-religious old cat lady next door.
Formerly something else...

Cain

You mean you didn't leave your door unlocked during the crack cocaine epidemic?

Vanadium Gryllz

So some company called Pastdue Credit Solutions keeps sending me letters saying i've got outstanding debt with NPower for the student accomodation I lived in.

Hilariously they managed to get the dates, address and my name wrong on the letter which were my first clues that something wasn't right.

General consensus online agrees that this is a company just trying to scam people with scary letters.

Suggestions for amusing/effective methods of retaliation welcome.
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

Bruno

Quote from: Cain on August 14, 2017, 04:57:44 PM
You mean you didn't leave your door unlocked during the crack cocaine epidemic?

Can't lock your doors when you already sold them for crack.
Formerly something else...

Cain


Cain

Quote from: Vanadium Gryllz on August 14, 2017, 05:39:36 PM
So some company called Pastdue Credit Solutions keeps sending me letters saying i've got outstanding debt with NPower for the student accomodation I lived in.

Hilariously they managed to get the dates, address and my name wrong on the letter which were my first clues that something wasn't right.

General consensus online agrees that this is a company just trying to scam people with scary letters.

Suggestions for amusing/effective methods of retaliation welcome.

Write back posing as another family member's solicitor.

Tell them you have run off to join the YPG.

As a member of a desginated terrorist organisation, trying to collect funds from you would put them in contravention of the Terrorism Act (2006) as pertains to terrorist financing and they are advised to confer with the National Crime Agency on how best to seek repayment.

LMNO

Quote from: Cain on August 14, 2017, 06:09:58 PM
Quote from: Vanadium Gryllz on August 14, 2017, 05:39:36 PM
So some company called Pastdue Credit Solutions keeps sending me letters saying i've got outstanding debt with NPower for the student accomodation I lived in.

Hilariously they managed to get the dates, address and my name wrong on the letter which were my first clues that something wasn't right.

General consensus online agrees that this is a company just trying to scam people with scary letters.

Suggestions for amusing/effective methods of retaliation welcome.

Write back posing as another family member's solicitor.

Tell them you have run off to join the YPG.

As a member of a desginated terrorist organisation, trying to collect funds from you would put them in contravention of the Terrorism Act (2006) as pertains to terrorist financing and they are advised to confer with the National Crime Agency on how best to seek repayment.


....That's genius.

Cain

I based it on actual problems lawyers representing suspected terrorists have. 

POFP

Quote from: Cain on August 14, 2017, 10:08:34 PM
I based it on actual problems lawyers representing suspected terrorists have.

lolwut 

:lulz: :lulz:

Sometimes, I feel like the world turned out exactly how it was supposed to.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Emo Howard on August 14, 2017, 05:13:09 AM
Quote from: Trivial on August 14, 2017, 05:05:34 AM
Grr annoyed at people's faulty memories.  "I remember when we could leave doors unlocked, we didn't have to worry about x y or z crime."

Yes we did.  We locked the fucking doors. Though I suppose it was your parents worrying and not you.

I just paid attention as a kid I guess.

My parents' house was broken into almost immediately after it was build back in the 60s. They religiously locked their doors whenever they left the house, and before going to bed at night my entire childhood, and even to this day. they lived, and still live in rural Tennessee

Today, I also live in rural Tennessee, and NEVER lock my doors. Though when I did live in town, I I locked doors, and it really pissed me off that my roommate refused to lock the door behind him when he left in the morning, and I was still asleep for a few hours after he left, even though I asked him nicely. It wasn't a terrible neighborhood, but it wasn't that great, either.

Funny bit is, you're far more likely to suffer from property crime in a rural area.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Bruno

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 14, 2017, 11:41:57 PM
Quote from: Emo Howard on August 14, 2017, 05:13:09 AM
Quote from: Trivial on August 14, 2017, 05:05:34 AM
Grr annoyed at people's faulty memories.  "I remember when we could leave doors unlocked, we didn't have to worry about x y or z crime."

Yes we did.  We locked the fucking doors. Though I suppose it was your parents worrying and not you.

I just paid attention as a kid I guess.

My parents' house was broken into almost immediately after it was build back in the 60s. They religiously locked their doors whenever they left the house, and before going to bed at night my entire childhood, and even to this day. they lived, and still live in rural Tennessee

Today, I also live in rural Tennessee, and NEVER lock my doors. Though when I did live in town, I I locked doors, and it really pissed me off that my roommate refused to lock the door behind him when he left in the morning, and I was still asleep for a few hours after he left, even though I asked him nicely. It wasn't a terrible neighborhood, but it wasn't that great, either.

Funny bit is, you're far more likely to suffer from property crime in a rural area.

True, that. But We also have a couple other things to give us our false sense of security that traditionally come with rural living: Dog running loose in the yard, "extra" vehicles sitting in front of the house (in various stages of disrepair), etc...

The red car and blue truck are particularly unconvincing due to all the grass grown up around them.

That black station wagon, tho.
Formerly something else...

Trivial

ok so due date is the 29th, but I keep thinking my luck is such that baby will want to arrive during an eclipse related traffic jam
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Don Coyote

Quote from: Trivial on August 15, 2017, 02:23:51 AM
ok so due date is the 29th, but I keep thinking my luck is such that baby will want to arrive during an eclipse related traffic jam

Then the baby will be born with weird moon powers. It should balance out.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Don Coyote on August 15, 2017, 02:51:59 AM
Quote from: Trivial on August 15, 2017, 02:23:51 AM
ok so due date is the 29th, but I keep thinking my luck is such that baby will want to arrive during an eclipse related traffic jam

Then the baby will be born with weird moon powers. It should balance out.

But then will be unable to melt & work silver.

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 15, 2017, 04:16:56 AM
Quote from: Don Coyote on August 15, 2017, 02:51:59 AM
Quote from: Trivial on August 15, 2017, 02:23:51 AM
ok so due date is the 29th, but I keep thinking my luck is such that baby will want to arrive during an eclipse related traffic jam

Then the baby will be born with weird moon powers. It should balance out.

But then will be unable to melt & work silver.

:lulz:

Oh darn. So much for a lucrative career in silversmithing.  :lulz: