The aliens haven't contacted us because

[The Johnny]

Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush? 

[Doktor Howl]

Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush? 

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

[Cain]

Maybe the aliens are even dumber than us? Spaceships aside, I'm not so impressed.

"Yup, this is definitely a human anus. Just like the other two million we've probed. Remember when we used to mutiliate cattle? I mean, don't get me wrong, we had the DNA sequences from the start so it was equally pointless, but at least it was a change. Something different."

[The Johnny]

Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush? 

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain. 

[The Johnny]

Maybe the aliens are even dumber than us? Spaceships aside, I'm not so impressed.

"Yup, this is definitely a human anus. Just like the other two million we've probed. Remember when we used to mutiliate cattle? I mean, don't get me wrong, we had the DNA sequences from the start so it was equally pointless, but at least it was a change. Something different."

"Sure, 2 million is a good sampling, but how about another 2 million? 1,999,999 more to go!"

[Doktor Howl]

Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush? 

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain. 

That's fucking awesome.

[chaotic neutral observer]

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

Johnny, stop trying to make contact with your food, and finish eating it.  Don't you want any dessert?

[altered]

Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush? 

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain. 

That's fucking awesome.

Damn, it sure is.

Good to see you back, Johnny.

[The Johnny]

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz 

Johnny, stop trying to make contact with your food, and finish eating it.  Don't you want any dessert?

Fiiiiiine mom, but do we still have Soylent Green Jell-O?

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Finding another inhabited planet, assuming there are any, would be like finding a particular needle in a haystack sized pile of mass-produced needles