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Author Topic: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.  (Read 6657 times)

Cramulus

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PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« on: September 05, 2017, 01:41:46 pm »
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on September 04, 2017, 08:45:27 am
PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.

Fuck it. I'm starting a death cult

If anybody wants in, let me know. We're gonna off ourselves at the same time on a Monday. Why Monday? So we can get in a good weekend before the finale. 

The only rule is that you have to kill yourself in a way that nobody's ever heard of. When people find our bodies, it'll really make their day.


So here's how I'm gonna go ---

I'm gonna glue living field mice all over my naked body, and then lay down in a room full of hungry eagles.
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P3nT4gR4m

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 01:59:33 pm »
I'm in. Gonna drink a couple of litres of silly string formula then splodeyvest myself in a crowded area. I'll be remembered in the history books as the human yarnbomber.
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Faust

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 02:05:53 pm »
I'm going to participate in an orange eating contest.
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2017, 02:14:24 pm »
I'm gonna go to Africa and eat raw bats until I develop a novel hemorrhagic fever for folks to enjoy because I don't have the guts to die of eating ORANGES like Faust does.
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POFP

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2017, 02:46:18 pm »
I'd put myself into a guided missile that looks like a nuclear warhead and have myself given to North Korea for testing. The missile itself has no explosive capability.

But it is filled with 300 lbs of FLAX.

And all-you-can-eat stuffed crab.
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Mr. Gone

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2017, 06:49:08 pm »
I'm going to give several vision-impaired individuals several poison and blade-tipped saxophones and violins, then I will stand up against a wall and tell them to have at er.
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2017, 08:02:35 pm »
I'm going to get a genie to grant me the conditional wish that I slowly and painfully transmute into gold when I make psychical contact with Trump, then make that handshake happen.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2017, 08:45:22 pm by Q. G. Pennyworth »
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Freeky

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2017, 08:07:19 pm »
Quote from: Faust on September 05, 2017, 02:05:53 pm
I'm going to participate in an orange eating contest.

 :lulz:
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2017, 11:10:33 pm »
strap cats to myself and hop in the shower.
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P3nT4gR4m

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2017, 11:57:15 pm »
This whole fread! I'ma sculpt it all.
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I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
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walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2017, 01:02:23 am »
Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.
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MMIX

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2017, 05:52:30 pm »
Quote from: Pope Pelvis Flirtini on September 06, 2017, 01:02:23 am
Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.

Oh FFS man, that is soo fucking bourgeois - lay off of the ninja's by all that's holey, they are only doing their bloody jobs
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Cain

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 pm »
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.
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P3nT4gR4m

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2017, 06:40:51 pm »
Quote from: Cain on September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 pm
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.
Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.
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I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

POFP

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2017, 08:30:38 pm »
 
Quote from: Cain on September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 pm
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on September 06, 2017, 06:40:51 pm
Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.

 :spittake:
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This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.
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