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PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.

Started by Cramulus, September 05, 2017, 01:41:46 PM

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Cramulus

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on September 04, 2017, 08:45:27 AM
PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.

Fuck it. I'm starting a death cult

If anybody wants in, let me know. We're gonna off ourselves at the same time on a Monday. Why Monday? So we can get in a good weekend before the finale. 

The only rule is that you have to kill yourself in a way that nobody's ever heard of. When people find our bodies, it'll really make their day.


So here's how I'm gonna go ---

I'm gonna glue living field mice all over my naked body, and then lay down in a room full of hungry eagles.

P3nT4gR4m

I'm in. Gonna drink a couple of litres of silly string formula then splodeyvest myself in a crowded area. I'll be remembered in the history books as the human yarnbomber.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Faust

Sleepless nights at the chateau

The Wizard Joseph

I'm gonna go to Africa and eat raw bats until I develop a novel hemorrhagic fever for folks to enjoy because I don't have the guts to die of eating ORANGES like Faust does.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

POFP

I'd put myself into a guided missile that looks like a nuclear warhead and have myself given to North Korea for testing. The missile itself has no explosive capability.

But it is filled with 300 lbs of FLAX.

And all-you-can-eat stuffed crab.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Mr. Gone

I'm going to give several vision-impaired individuals several poison and blade-tipped saxophones and violins, then I will stand up against a wall and tell them to have at er.

Q. G. Pennyworth

I'm going to get a genie to grant me the conditional wish that I slowly and painfully transmute into gold when I make psychical contact with Trump, then make that handshake happen.

Freeky


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m


I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard

Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.
"I never thought of shaving my beard and freeing the slaves, but I thought of shaving the slaves and freeing my beard!"
~ Abrahaham Lincololn

MMIX

Quote from: Pope Pelvis Flirtini on September 06, 2017, 01:02:23 AM
Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.

Oh FFS man, that is soo fucking bourgeois - lay off of the ninja's by all that's holey, they are only doing their bloody jobs
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Cain

Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Cain on September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 PM
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.
Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

POFP

 
Quote from: Cain on September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 PM
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on September 06, 2017, 06:40:51 PM
Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.

:spittake:
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.