Author Topic: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.  (Read 4021 times)

Cramulus

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PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.

Fuck it. I'm starting a death cult

If anybody wants in, let me know. We're gonna off ourselves at the same time on a Monday. Why Monday? So we can get in a good weekend before the finale. 

The only rule is that you have to kill yourself in a way that nobody's ever heard of. When people find our bodies, it'll really make their day.


So here's how I'm gonna go ---

I'm gonna glue living field mice all over my naked body, and then lay down in a room full of hungry eagles.

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 01:59:33 pm »
I'm in. Gonna drink a couple of litres of silly string formula then splodeyvest myself in a crowded area. I'll be remembered in the history books as the human yarnbomber.
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
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Faust

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 02:05:53 pm »
I'm going to participate in an orange eating contest.
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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2017, 02:14:24 pm »
I'm gonna go to Africa and eat raw bats until I develop a novel hemorrhagic fever for folks to enjoy because I don't have the guts to die of eating ORANGES like Faust does.
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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2017, 02:46:18 pm »
I'd put myself into a guided missile that looks like a nuclear warhead and have myself given to North Korea for testing. The missile itself has no explosive capability.

But it is filled with 300 lbs of FLAX.

And all-you-can-eat stuffed crab.
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Mr. Gone

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2017, 06:49:08 pm »
I'm going to give several vision-impaired individuals several poison and blade-tipped saxophones and violins, then I will stand up against a wall and tell them to have at er.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2017, 08:02:35 pm »
I'm going to get a genie to grant me the conditional wish that I slowly and painfully transmute into gold when I make psychical contact with Trump, then make that handshake happen.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2017, 08:45:22 pm by Q. G. Pennyworth »

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2017, 08:07:19 pm »
I'm going to participate in an orange eating contest.

 :lulz:

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2017, 11:10:33 pm »
strap cats to myself and hop in the shower.
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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2017, 11:57:15 pm »
This whole fread! I'ma sculpt it all.
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2017, 01:02:23 am »
Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.
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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2017, 05:52:30 pm »
Ninjas. I'm going to be killed by ninjas.

When I'm old and I've done all the things I want to do or there's no chance I'll do any of the things I haven't done, I'll contract assassins to hunt me down. It can be any time, any place, just as long as I don't know when and where. The only rule is that they need to be many, and it must be with swords.

And I'll carry a katana with me for the remainder of my days, because I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight. I might have hired them myself, but they won't know that, and I'll be damned if I'm not determined to take a few of the bastards out with me.

Oh FFS man, that is soo fucking bourgeois - lay off of the ninja's by all that's holey, they are only doing their bloody jobs
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Cain

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2017, 06:10:02 pm »
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2017, 06:40:51 pm »
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.
Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and itís not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesnít matter." -- Max Tegmark

PoFP

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Re: PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2017, 08:30:38 pm »
 
Anyone who dies to more than one ninja is lame anyways.  Conservation of Ninjutsu means you should fall only when facing a lone ninja.  If you're facing, like 50, then you should be perfectly safe.

Every straight-to-vhs ninja movie I rented in the 80's corroborates your hypothesis.

 :spittake:
Listen carefully. I don't have much time, and I only have 462 characters left. I'm a scientist from Area 52 (Area 51 was used to draw attention from Area 52, where the aliens were ACTUALLY stored) who was working on neural interfacing with networked devices. In an experiment gone wrong, I accidentally uploaded my mind to the internet. In the 2 seconds I had before my mind scrambled itself with the world's network traffic, I was able to store this snippet in this random internet signature. If you're reading this, let the world know tha