The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

[Fujikoma]

FUCK YES!

[Doktor Howl]

Today, my boss announced that I am a wizard, because I can read a set of utility bills and eliminate redundancies.  Like $30K of redundancies.

But I have 4 hangnails.  Would a wizard have 4 hangnails?

Saving 30k on utilities in a single month??? Thats like enough to start a bitcoin farm.

Yeah, and the same amount going forward.

Also, and Cain will appreciate this, a joke on my part has let to what we are calling "Project Detritus".

[Doktor Howl]

I may have had to sit though a meeting with people literally wearing MAGA hats, while some AM talk radio crap played in the office. I may have seen fit to have Billy in the meeting, because young people are weak and need scars. I may have strained my poker face in an effort to remain professional.

But at the end of it all, I got funding for Project Detritus (anyone who has read Terry Pratchett will catch the reference) and I am dragging the world into a more horrible yet hilarious future.

I am a very scary man today. I know this because I gave myself my wallet when I was looking in the mirror shaving, to avoid a beating.

[altered]

You're living the dream, Howl. I can't wait to see what happens next.

[Doktor Howl]

You're living the dream, Howl. I can't wait to see what happens next.

My guess?  We'll do awesome things and then I will be fired in 22 months.

I mean, aside from Sasol, that's the trend.

[Fujikoma]

To my understanding, wizards, don't have extra bones, but shaman do.

EDIT: Also, wasn't Detritus the Golem on the watch?... ok, my amusement, stops here, WHAT have you done?

[Doktor Howl]

My desk.

[altered]

That desk speaks to me. It says "I'm going to burn a house down. I don't have any specific house in mind, but if you have any suggestions, it will be your house."

[chaotic neutral observer]

The crossbow doesn't worry me.  Without seeing what kind of bolts are going to be used, it's entirely possible that it's only intended for some innocent target practice, as opposed to hunting The Most Dangerous Prey.

The electric pencil sharpener, however, frightens me.  It frightens me greatly.  The only reason to have an electric pencil sharpener in your possession is if you are planning things.

[Doktor Howl]

Me:  "595 lines of undocumented code.  I want to find the engineer that wrote this and choke his ass out.  This is BULLSHIT and..."

Billy:  *reaches into a file I had looked through at least twice, pulls out documented code*

Me:  *stares at Billy*

Billy:  *stares at me*

Me:  "AND ANOTHER THING..."

[Junkenstein]

Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.

And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.

[altered]

Google saves every single one of them for me. I knew what CNO was missing about that crossbow, and I've never read a Pratchett book (Good Omens excepted). They just aren't my thing.

[Doktor Howl]

Google saves every single one of them for me. I knew what CNO was missing about that crossbow, and I've never read a Pratchett book (Good Omens excepted). They just aren't my thing.

I'm not wild about most of his stuff, but the Vimes novels are an exception.  They are superb.

[Doktor Howl]

Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.

And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.

It's the crossbow thing, really. 

Great big bastard.  Trying to double the fastest existing crossbow.

[Bruno]

Never apologize, explain or bring it up again.
Standard operating procedure for progress.

And detritus was the troll folks. I suspect a lot of prachett jokes have been utterly wasted on some of you.

It's the crossbow thing, really. 

Great big bastard.  Trying to double the fastest existing crossbow.

Has anyone gotten past Mach 1 with a crossbow, yet?