Author Topic: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)  (Read 147242 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #795 on: December 01, 2020, 05:31:37 pm »
Mass tells space how to bend, and space tells mass how to move.
Money tells the market how to trend, and the market tells money how to move.
Physics is what kills you, but it's biology that wants you dead.

 :mittens:
Poetic and HORRIFYING as usual!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Cramulus

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #796 on: December 02, 2020, 07:26:08 pm »
Mass tells space how to bend, and space tells mass how to move.
Money tells the market how to trend, and the market tells money how to move.
Physics is what kills you, but it's biology that wants you dead.

:mittens:

I really like that

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #797 on: December 17, 2020, 07:09:01 pm »
New project file tomorrow!

:banana:
Molon Lube

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #798 on: December 21, 2020, 10:52:56 pm »
At work today:

Dan:  "So, how do you feel about the new project?"

Me:  "It's good.  Very interesting stuff."

Dan:  "I always thought of you more as an 'explody' guy."

Me:  "Geez, you do a couple of weapons gigs and people think that's all you do."

Dan:  "Touchy, touchy."

Me:  "Besides, you could totally weaponize this."

Dan:  "Weaponizing...advertising analysis?"

Norton:  "You act like you've never sat through an election, Dan."

Me:  "Or watched people peddle dangerous drugs to old farts on the TV."

Norton:  "Or just wanted to be able to steer loads of people into doing what you want them to do."

Dan:  "You guys are just determining effect, not writing ads."

Me:  "Correct.  We are not trained in writing ads.  But what we're doing here will make the people who DO write ads more effective."

Norton:  "And that's what the world needs right now.  More effective ads."

Dan:  "Jesus, is this how you guys think all the time?"

Me:  "No, mostly just when I'm pimped out to figure out how effective dick pill ads are."

Norton:  "Yes, we're not really happy about that part of it."

Me:  "AND"

Dan:  "AND what?"

Me:  "And we will have our revenge."

Dan:  "I thought you said you were okay with it."

Me:  "That's before you reminded me of it."

Dan:  "You said it was interesting."

Norton:  "Much like advertisements, Hamish lies all the time."

Me:  "All MY lies are TRUE."

Dan:  "..."

Me:  "See?  I'm lying right now."

Molon Lube

The Johnny

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #799 on: December 22, 2020, 02:15:00 am »

Are you doing focus groups with people wired up? I suppose you cant talk about it
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

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Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #800 on: December 22, 2020, 04:34:40 am »

Are you doing focus groups with people wired up? I suppose you cant talk about it

No, sadly, this is strict trends resulting from ads.  Raw data in digital format.
Molon Lube

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #801 on: December 31, 2020, 07:28:21 am »
WOOT.

More better project with murderbots AND neither Norton nor I have to go to Wyoming.  My boss does, though.

:hammer:
Molon Lube

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #802 on: December 31, 2020, 07:45:36 am »
WOOT.

More better project with murderbots AND neither Norton nor I have to go to Wyoming.  My boss does, though.

:hammer:
EXTREMELY glad for you Howl! Also probably a wize business move on your employer's part. Moving you would almost certainly demotivate you, and I dare say you have some amount of passion for murderbots occupationally. Your boss getting shipped out is just a bit of extra Slack on your Slack cake really.
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You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #803 on: January 12, 2021, 04:04:06 pm »
Our huge-ass facility is moving across town.  I have 15 months to be complete.  Bear in mind that the monster CNC tooling will take 11 months to move, and I need a month to let their pads cure ahead of that.

Today I was reprimanded by the CEO for planning the move.  Not for taking concrete steps, but for making plans (ie, where do we need electricity and how much, etc).

This will end nicely for everyone, I think.

« Last Edit: January 12, 2021, 04:16:30 pm by Doktor Howl »
Molon Lube

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #804 on: January 12, 2021, 05:26:26 pm »
Thinking ahead? How dare you? No-one gave your permission to think.

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #805 on: January 12, 2021, 06:17:01 pm »
thought is abomination
action is abomination
foresight is heresy
only naptime until i decide otherwise and then you should have been secretly ass-in-gear months ago
I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.

There's a hole in everything.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #806 on: January 12, 2021, 06:41:23 pm »
Thinking ahead? How dare you? No-one gave your permission to think.

I am occasionally reminded that my paychecks are signed by the lovechild of Emperor Palpatine and Bricktop.
Molon Lube

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #807 on: January 12, 2021, 06:50:02 pm »
I mean, at least they're real. Someone you describe that way, I'd expect 18th century factory-town company scrip to start, and getting worse from there.
I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.

There's a hole in everything.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #808 on: January 12, 2021, 09:44:17 pm »
CEO:  "Get rid of that electrical contractor.  I want to use <other contractor>."

Me:  "<Other contractor> has given us a no bid, due to being too busy."

CEO:  "You heard me."

Me:  "Oki doki."

CEO:  "What, no pushback?"

Me:  "Nope.  You own the company, you can micromanage it into insolvency if you want to."

CEO:  "..."

Me:  "That's an alarming shade of purple, boss."

CEO:  "Explain to me why I shouldn't fire you on the spot."

Me:  "I can't think of a single reason.  Assuming, of course, that you know someone who can handle the new EPA permitting, the existing EPA issues, and can conduct day to day business without all those annoying 'ethical' concerns and constant pissing and moaning about the effect of our company on the world."

CEO:  "Dammit, just get me <other corporation>.  I've known that guy for years."

Me:  "That might be the problem, apparently it took you 3 years to pay him last time."

CEO:  "Bullshit."

Me:  "Nope.  38 months, to be exact.  I saw the old lien papers he had on you."

CEO:  "That was him?"

Me:  "Well, this is that guy's son.  That guy himself has been dead for 5 years."

CEO:  "Well, shit."

Me:  "So can I call the contractor back?"

CEO:  "Let me think about it."

Me:  *hums Jeopardy tune*

CEO:  "YARGANARG!"

But Hamish was gone, like a fart in the night.

Molon Lube

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #809 on: January 12, 2021, 09:44:48 pm »
It is worth mentioning that our CEO is old.  Like really old.  Like Yoda ancient.
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