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The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

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Doktor Howl

Quote from: Emo Howard on July 03, 2019, 09:17:20 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2019, 05:19:52 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 03, 2019, 04:51:24 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2019, 01:00:08 AM
Billy has no eyebrows, Steve shat himself, my two lowest-right ribs are broken, and I need to replace the shed on site 4.

Just another day in Side Effect City.

I guess you weren't kidding when you said it was the worst job in the world.  I'm glad you didn't get killed.

...I hope you at least got some useful experimental data?

Not really.  Aside from "It is important to teach Billy not to ignite aluminum."

Most of the injury stuff happened when all 3 of us tried to squeeze through a regular sized door all at once.  Heroes, one and all.

Steve is very small, though, and I think he shat himself when we stepped on him in the scrum...But he's no wimp, and has not blamed us.  I am in fact blaming Billy, though, because my fucking ribs HURT.

How old are these two?

Would they even know who Moe, Larry and Curly were?

They are zygotes, which means I get to steal a lot of good jokes.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Today at work:

All of us were frozen with fear, as the pissed off tarantula hawk flew around the carbon room.  Then the little bastard flew into the altitude chamber.  Billy slammed the guard down, and I sent the evil little bastard 6 miles up, atmosphere-wise.

Goodbye flying sadist.
Molon Lube

altered

You need me around there. I'd have grabbed the little guy with my bare hands. I've done it before with them, they don't sting unless you smell of fear.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Junkenstein

Tell us more about this altitude chamber. That sounds like all kinds of possible fun.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Junkenstein on July 12, 2019, 03:17:50 AM
Tell us more about this altitude chamber. That sounds like all kinds of possible fun.

It's a 2 meter piece of 60 centimeter pipe with plex on either side and a vacuum pump.  Not as sexy as it sounds, but it does wasps in pretty good.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Today at work:

1.   It turns out silent propellant isn't really silent.
2.  "Capture" pistols do not work as advertised.
3.  Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.
Molon Lube

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 16, 2019, 04:33:02 AM
Today at work:

1.   It turns out silent propellant isn't really silent.
2.  "Capture" pistols do not work as advertised.
3.  Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.

Can't tell if this is bad day or best day.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 16, 2019, 04:40:05 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 16, 2019, 04:33:02 AM
Today at work:

1.   It turns out silent propellant isn't really silent.
2.  "Capture" pistols do not work as advertised.
3.  Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.

Can't tell if this is bad day or best day.

Yes.
Molon Lube

TastyCle

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 16, 2019, 04:33:02 AM
3.  Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.
Don't you worry, carbon detector will be viable after everyone important switches to a metal body!
Very painful to get rid of, why even bother.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: TastyCle on July 16, 2019, 08:43:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 16, 2019, 04:33:02 AM
3.  Carbon firearms set off no metal detectors.
Don't you worry, carbon detector will be viable after everyone important switches to a metal body!

Yeah, no.  We have managed to seal the carbon to the point where you have to damage it before it can be detected.  It has zero ablation or offgassing.

This, however, causes some interesting brittleness issues that are maybe not the best thing for firearms in general.  It's like a 30 Years War musket that can't be detected.
Molon Lube

Al Qədic

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2019, 12:16:00 AM
This, however, causes some interesting brittleness issues that are maybe not the best thing for firearms in general.  It's like a 30 Years War musket that can't be detected.

This sounds like the basis of some really niche action game mechanic and I'm all here for it.
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

Cain

Is the likelihood of a misfire any higher than a normal firearm?

I can still see a lot of use for a single, reliable shot that no-one can see coming...

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on July 17, 2019, 09:02:04 AM
Is the likelihood of a misfire any higher than a normal firearm?

I can still see a lot of use for a single, reliable shot that no-one can see coming...

The chance of misfire is dictated by the bullet, and we are in fact having some difficulty with carbon casings.  We are considering paper, as it will not cling and distort when the pin strikes it.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Today, my boss announced that I am a wizard, because I can read a set of utility bills and eliminate redundancies.  Like $30K of redundancies.

But I have 4 hangnails.  Would a wizard have 4 hangnails?
Molon Lube

The Johnny

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 23, 2019, 03:20:22 AM
Today, my boss announced that I am a wizard, because I can read a set of utility bills and eliminate redundancies.  Like $30K of redundancies.

But I have 4 hangnails.  Would a wizard have 4 hangnails?

Saving 30k on utilities in a single month??? Thats like enough to start a bitcoin farm.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner