News:

We've got artists, scientists, scholars, pranksters, publishers, songwriters, and political activists.  We've subjected Discordia to scrutiny, torn it apart, and put it back together. We've written songs about it, we've got a stack of essays, and, to refer back to your quote above, we criticize the hell out of each other.

Main Menu

The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cain

Chemists are weird though. He'll probably take to it just fine, if not obsessively.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on December 19, 2019, 09:52:28 PM
Chemists are weird though. He'll probably take to it just fine, if not obsessively.

I'm kinda counting on that.  I hired him because he's a nerd, and you can never get enough of those.
Molon Lube

altered

That is an interesting approach.

Benefits: If you want to see him turn colors and start smoking like a tire fire, you can always ask him every few months if he knows anyone who knows anything about chemistry, then say "Never mind" if he volunteers himself.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: nullified on December 19, 2019, 10:49:33 PM
That is an interesting approach.

Benefits: If you want to see him turn colors and start smoking like a tire fire, you can always ask him every few months if he knows anyone who knows anything about chemistry, then say "Never mind" if he volunteers himself.

Naw, I like being the nightmare boss, but not like that.
Molon Lube

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 19, 2019, 09:46:14 PM
What Norton doesn't yet understand is that I didn't need a chemist, I needed an electronics/coding guy.  Which Norton just became, though he won't know this until sometime after Christmas.  I prefer to think of this as Induced Dunning Kruger.  Because he is an expert on chemistry, I will treat him as an expert in servo drives.  I am and will remain deaf to any pleas of ignorance and/or inexperience.

Electricity comes from batteries.  Batteries are chemical.  Therefore, all electrical processes can be reduced to chemical equivalents.  Or something.

But seriously, if Norton is a reasonably bright B.Sc, I'm sure he'll be fine.  A basic grounding in a physical science tends to be transferable to all sort of fields.  Holders of advanced degrees are harder to predict.  With a PhD you could get a rock star, or you could get a prima donna who refuses to get their hands dirty.

Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on December 20, 2019, 01:59:43 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 19, 2019, 09:46:14 PM
What Norton doesn't yet understand is that I didn't need a chemist, I needed an electronics/coding guy.  Which Norton just became, though he won't know this until sometime after Christmas.  I prefer to think of this as Induced Dunning Kruger.  Because he is an expert on chemistry, I will treat him as an expert in servo drives.  I am and will remain deaf to any pleas of ignorance and/or inexperience.

Electricity comes from batteries.  Batteries are chemical.  Therefore, all electrical processes can be reduced to chemical equivalents.  Or something.

But seriously, if Norton is a reasonably bright B.Sc, I'm sure he'll be fine.  A basic grounding in a physical science tends to be transferable to all sort of fields.  Holders of advanced degrees are harder to predict.  With a PhD you could get a rock star, or you could get a prima donna who refuses to get their hands dirty.

He starts grad school next fall, which means that by law I can pay him in Ramen.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Me:  "Welcome aboard, Norton."

Norton:  "Thanks."

Me:  "You're over-dressed."

Norton:  "Excuse me?"

Me:  "If you insist on walking around in nice clothes, soon they will expect all of us to do it.  Worse, they might expect *me* to do it.  Jeans and a collared shirt are acceptable."

Norton:  "Okay."

Me:  "Now, down to business, and I hate to throw you in the deep end on your first day, but we have an urgent task."

Norton:  "That's why I'm here."

Me:  "Very good.  We need to write a vision statement."

Norton "..."

Me:  "What, you thought it was *all* deathbots and no paperwork grind?"

Norton:  "How do you even write one of those?  They seem to be a bunch of words that say exactly nothing."

Me:  "This is true.  I know a guy that has turned that into an art form.  Anyway, you and I have *real* vision, and we won't be doing that."

Norton:  "How about 'the last vendor you'll ever need'?"

Me:  "Oh, you're going to do well.  How about 'Give the archaelogists screaming nightmares'?"

Norton:  "Be the reason the aliens don't know what ever happened to us."

Me:  "Nice."

Norton:  "I just shot Marvin in the face."

Me:  "SOLD!"
Molon Lube

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 23, 2019, 05:47:02 PM
Norton:  "Be the reason the aliens don't know what ever happened to us."
Yup, he'll do.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

altered

Norton knows just enough about the world he's joined.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: nullified on December 23, 2019, 07:02:22 PM
Norton knows just enough about the world he's joined.

His last suggestion, from Pulp Fiction, is about the most accurate motto for this place that I've ever seen.  Because this is a large collection of smart people that have to be stupid to bring on the future.
Molon Lube

altered

I'm in the opposite situation: a massive collection of morons trying to hold back a tide of even greater stupid before it crushes us flat.

I have been putting together an exit strategy. Next year it will be yet another piece of roadkill on the side of the smart home IoT road of failure.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on December 23, 2019, 08:01:19 PM
I'm in the opposite situation: a massive collection of morons trying to hold back a tide of even greater stupid before it crushes us flat.

I have been putting together an exit strategy. Next year it will be yet another piece of roadkill on the side of the smart home IoT road of failure.

Where are you going to go where the standard American zero-sum game bullshit doesn't turn everything into poop?

That's the fundamental flaw, of course.  We have been conditioned to accept that there have to be winners and losers.  The concept of "everyone having a life" involved a technical challenge that we are no longer prepared to face.

And that's deliberate, because there is no point in the winners being winners if there are no peasants to lord it over.
Molon Lube

altered

Much though I'd love to say I was escaping the shit, I am a realist and so my goal is only to pick a less horrible variety of shit. This shit is horrible, it could only get worse by being openly bigoted.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Norton:  "So, you're a pessimist."

Me:  "No.  No, I am not.  Because optimists AND pessimists have figured out how to be right AND be stupid at the same time."

Norton:  "How's that?"

Me:  "The optimist believes that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that the optimist is right.  But this is clearly not the best of all possible worlds, that's self-evident.  But it can also always get WORSE, so this is also not the worst of all possible worlds.  What it is, is a world full of half-bright primates that have more engineering skill than brains.  Looking around, that is undeniably a fatal mutation."

Norton:  "So you're a nihilist?"

Me:  "I don't even believe in nihilism."

Norton:  *laughs*

Me:  *straight face*

Norton:  "..."

Me:  *straight face*

Norton:  "So, what DO you believe in?"

Me:  "I believe that if we don't finish this PLC, we aren't taking lunch."

Norton:  "Oh, right."

Me:  "The eschaton waits on no man."
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Doktor Howl's First Ironclad Rule of Accepting Venture Capital:

"Do not allow the investor signing authority on spending the capital that they have extended."
Molon Lube