The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

[Doktor Howl]

The Hickman Principle:  "During a start up or expansion, the sucker believes that the last man at the table wins.  Always eat first."

[Doktor Howl]

Howl's Second Law of Venture Capitalism:  "The depth of the pockets of your investors - not their actual investment - is inversely proportional to the amount of control the owner of the company retains."

[Doktor Howl]

These laws are based on my observation of the woobie that is buying our facility for the purpose of growing pot.  She is in way over her head, the sharks are circling, and she is just now beginning to look worried.  It's far too late for that.

[Doktor Howl]

Howl's Third Law of Venture Capitalism:  If possible, always issue venture capitalists common stock, even if it means giving up votes.  Giving them preferred stock ensures that they eat first at the expense of everything else.

[chaotic neutral observer]

These laws are based on my observation of the woobie that is buying our facility for the purpose of growing pot.  She is in way over her head, the sharks are circling, and she is just now beginning to look worried.  It's far too late for that.

Everybody wants to get in on the ground floor, but hardly anyone bothers to check the elevator inspection certificate.

Or the "recalibration-due-by" date on the gas pump, for that matter.

[Doktor Howl]

These laws are based on my observation of the woobie that is buying our facility for the purpose of growing pot.  She is in way over her head, the sharks are circling, and she is just now beginning to look worried.  It's far too late for that.

Everybody wants to get in on the ground floor, but hardly anyone bothers to check the elevator inspection certificate.

Or the "recalibration-due-by" date on the gas pump, for that matter.

Well, yeah.

But in this case, it is a sad case of someone who didn't educate herself enough to even understand the business model of her investors.

Step 1:  Invest in 10 companies.  9 will fail, one will cover your investments and deliver a profit, AND
Step 2:  Set all 10 up to be cannibalized, so that you shrink your exposure and maximize your profits on the one that DOES deliver.

Goal:  20+% profit over 24 months.

"These people are not your partners."

[Doktor Howl]

Today, at work:

Me:  "Norton, you can judge your clout by the angle of your monitor to your office door."

Norton:  "Okay..."

Me:  "It's absolutely true.  If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb.  If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle.  If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager."

Norton:  "I don't have a door."

Me:  "You're new."

Norton:  "I don't have an office."

Me:  "You're an engineer."

Norton:  "My desk is in a hallway."

Me:  "You're a new engineer."

[Doktor Howl]

(It bears mentioning that he's not an engineer.)

[Faust]

When he gets more clout he can go back to not being an engineer

[Doktor Howl]

When he gets more clout he can go back to not being an engineer

Yes.  That will take a while.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb.  If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle.  If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.

Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.

[Bruno]

If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb.  If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle.  If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.

Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.

My job will compensate us up to $300 per year for "Fitness equipment" if we take the health assessment (blood test and questionaire_{(I lied about my mental health, tee hee)}) and apparently "fitness equipment" includes an apple i-watch since it includes a heart-rate monitor, so it's basically a $300 fitbit, with internets.


My dumb ass bought a $400 home gym, and now I have to get rid of my couch to make room for it.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb.  If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle.  If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.

Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.

My job will compensate us up to $300 per year for "Fitness equipment" if we take the health assessment (blood test and questionaire_{(I lied about my mental health, tee hee)}) and apparently "fitness equipment" includes an apple i-watch since it includes a heart-rate monitor, so it's basically a $300 fitbit, with internets.


My dumb ass bought a $400 home gym, and now I have to get rid of my couch to make room for it.

Or you could just flip the home gym. With decent benefits like that, I'm guessing they'd pay for a membership somewhere?

Hey, where is Dok?

[Doktor Howl]

If your monitor is facing your door, you are a pleb.  If your monitor is perpendicular to your door, you are somewhere in the middle.  If your monitor faces directly away from your door, you are the general manager.

Fact.
The big fish can fuck off online openly, while the little fish must be stealthy.
There's people at my job who dropped $400 on smartwatches just to get fucked up internet.

My job will compensate us up to $300 per year for "Fitness equipment" if we take the health assessment (blood test and questionaire_{(I lied about my mental health, tee hee)}) and apparently "fitness equipment" includes an apple i-watch since it includes a heart-rate monitor, so it's basically a $300 fitbit, with internets.


My dumb ass bought a $400 home gym, and now I have to get rid of my couch to make room for it.

Or you could just flip the home gym. With decent benefits like that, I'm guessing they'd pay for a membership somewhere?

Hey, where is Dok?

I've been binge-watching the entirely of Star Trek Discovery.

[Cain]

Thoughts?