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The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

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Doktor Howl

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on February 15, 2020, 04:33:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 15, 2020, 03:05:12 AM
Quote from: Juana on February 15, 2020, 01:01:30 AM
Did he get a little wild eyed?

He seemed a little startled.   :lol:
So, is Norton not going to make it?  It sounds like he's beginning to crack under the strain.

"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality."

Norton is going to be just fine.  I am a Doktor.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Things that got said at work today:

Me:  "Of course my smile is unsettling.  That's because I'm not smiling, I'm GRINNING."

Dave:  "The next person to ask questions when I ask if there are questions gets to write a full-page vision statement about how questions are a non-performing strategy."

IT Bear:  "How come Hamish gets to dance in his office and nobody yells at him, but if I do it it's 'unprofessional'?"

Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Things that got said at work today:

Me:  "Covid19 is a kill-stealing son of a bitch."

Me:  "Can everyone please not die from the horrible virus until after May 1st?  We have some deadlines, here."

Norton:  "David's doing that thing in his office again.  We better order some drywall."
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Me (To Norton):  "Remember that Saturday is leap year day, and God can't see anything you do.  So have fun."
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Bruno

Formerly something else...

Cain

The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

Bruno

Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.
Formerly something else...

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Bruno on February 28, 2020, 08:37:40 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.

Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.

I fail to see how managers get upset about this.
Molon Lube

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 28, 2020, 01:44:15 PM
Quote from: Bruno on February 28, 2020, 08:37:40 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.

Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.

I fail to see how managers get upset about this.

Many managers lack foresight, unfortunately.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Doktor Howl

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2020, 04:51:58 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 28, 2020, 01:44:15 PM
Quote from: Bruno on February 28, 2020, 08:37:40 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.

Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.

I fail to see how managers get upset about this.

Many managers lack foresight, unfortunately.

It's not even that.  It's petty authority.
Molon Lube

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 28, 2020, 05:19:49 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2020, 04:51:58 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 28, 2020, 01:44:15 PM
Quote from: Bruno on February 28, 2020, 08:37:40 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.

Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.

I fail to see how managers get upset about this.

Many managers lack foresight, unfortunately.

It's not even that.  It's petty authority.
Yeah. I should be grateful that petty tyrants tend to be... Predictable in lashing out and suppression of dissent. That predictability has helped me immensely in certain recent projects. It's very unpleasant to be subjected to though. I fucking refuse to be, but know when I have an advantage in seeming to.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Bruno

Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 28, 2020, 01:44:15 PM
Quote from: Bruno on February 28, 2020, 08:37:40 AM
Quote from: Cain on February 28, 2020, 08:14:41 AM
The thing is, it works. It really does. Washing your hands on a regular basis can cut infection rates by up to 70%.

That's good news for me. Most everybody I work with goes to the bathroom for 10+ minutes 3-4 times a day just to check their facebook, and, of course, have to wash their hands afterwards for realism.

Okay, so that's 30 minutes of lost production in exchange for not having the flu or this weird ass shit rip through your workplace.

I fail to see how managers get upset about this.

Right? I mean that's just a small fraction of the production lost because of engineering screw ups, and where's the ROI on that?
Formerly something else...

Doktor Howl

Today I learned that a culture that can make 65" 4G monitors will use those monitors for morale by having messages on them that say things like: "We're never to [sic] busy for quality."

My morale is now measurably lower.
Molon Lube

LMNO