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The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

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Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on June 30, 2020, 01:58:03 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on June 30, 2020, 01:36:52 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 30, 2020, 12:58:56 AM
Well, that was more fire damage than I expected.

How much were you expecting?

I'm choosing to believe that the fire was only, in fact, put out just now.

It's been 10 days above 100F since we could get into the plant, HVAC out, and that abandoned potluck dinner didn't do so well in the break room.

Also, the dip tank was left full and we had to pour 6 gallons of bleach into it to get rid of the stink.  You could have cut the water with a knife.
Molon Lube

Ari

Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 30, 2020, 04:05:03 AM
Also, the dip tank was left full and we had to pour 6 gallons of bleach into it to get rid of the stink.  You could have cut the water with a knife.

Do you want another small pocket of dark magick? Cause this is how you *can* get another small pocket of dark magick.
パンクビッチ

Doktor Howl

What's worse than realizing that the fire has gotten around behind you?

The cleanup, obviously.

BUT:  Building already cleared for reoccupation, electrical permit took ONE DAY (always pick the contractor with the shady officer manager), and insurance is buying all of our damaged shit, etc.

I am worn down to a nub.

Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Norton:  "Okay, so far we've had the plague, the move, the fire, and that thing with the drones."

Me:  "Yep.  Hell of a year."

Norton:  "What next?"

Me:  "What the fuck did you just say?"

David: *walks in*

David: "Looks like we lost the water main.  There's a geyser over in finishing."

Norton:  "..."

Me:  *pointing at Norton*  "YOU."

Norton:  "What?"

Me:  "YOU DID THIS.  YOU DELIBERATELY PROVOKED THE GREMLINS."

David:  "What did he do?"

Me:  "He asked 'what's next'."

David:  "You sorry son of a bitch."

Me:  "I'm calling a plumber and then I'm going home.  Norton, you get to wait on the plumber."

David:  "Don't look at me, Norton, I'm going home, too."

Norton:  "HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?"

Me:  "See you on Monday."
Molon Lube

The Wizard Joseph

He did provoke the gremlins and he's getting off light.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Doktor Howl

The problem with grad students is that they get their advanced degrees and then you can't pay them in Ramen anymore.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Norton has the coronavirus.  Which apparently means "he can't work."

This is bullshit.  This wouldn't have stopped Oppenheimer.
Molon Lube

altered

Norton is no Oppenheimer.

And you're more on the order of a mad scientist supervillain dwelling in a lab built in Houska Castle than you are a Leslie Groves, so, you know, different circumstances all around.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on August 03, 2020, 11:51:54 PM
Norton is no Oppenheimer.

And you're more on the order of a mad scientist supervillain dwelling in a lab built in Houska Castle than you are a Leslie Groves, so, you know, different circumstances all around.

I'm working on a get well card.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Dear Norton,

I asked you to hand me an Allen wrench today, and I did not receive one.  Upon asking around, I was astonished to learn that you have been out since Thursday with the coronavirus.  Please do not take this lapse in attention to mean that I do not miss you.

In any case, I approached HR with the idea that we could put you in a giant hamster ball to allow you to continue your work, but this is apparently against policy.  I had no better luck when I suggested building a functioning replica of Captain Pike's wheelchair.  HR clearly does not understand the importance of our work.  But I know you do, and so I have attached some code to be debugged.  You should find this to be restful and easy work, as you wrote the series of infinite loops you called a routine yourself.

Now, I have been made aware that there is something like a 3% chance of you dying, and an additional 4% chance of mental impairment, so please make that debugging a priority.  If you put 3 bad addresses in 50 lines of code when you were well, there's no telling what you're capable of with millions of virus specimens sawing away at your frontal lobes.

Wait.  I didn't mean to actually type that last paragraph out.  Please disregard.

Get better soon,
Hamish
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Everyone in the lab are now NOT in the lab, because all 18 of my direct coworkers are either confirmed to have the plague, or are waiting on test results.

And I alone hath survived to tell thee.

On the plus side, nobody complains about my music choices.  And I don't have to wear a mask in the lab now, I suppose.  On the negative side, I can't really leave the lab, which means all of my other treacherous reports will be fucking off.  Well, not too bad, I do have supervisors out there.  BUT STILL.  It's the fucking principle of the thing.  Did Signor Paesor ever have days like this?




Molon Lube

altered

Norton infected everyone but you?!

You need to include an addendum to your get well card. This insubordination cannot stand, on account of barely being able to breathe.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 04, 2020, 03:24:05 PM
Everyone in the lab are now NOT in the lab, because all 18 of my direct coworkers are either confirmed to have the plague, or are waiting on test results.

And I alone hath survived to tell thee.

:eek:
Don't die yet.  There is still Work to be Done.

But should you fall, I shall set off the Yellowstone Caldera (a.k.a. "The Ass of the World") in your memory.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

altered

You do Yellowstone, I'll go for the Siberian Traps.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: altered on August 04, 2020, 08:01:50 PM
You do Yellowstone, I'll go for the Siberian Traps.

I'll see if we can stir up more of that shit they found in the Great Pacific Gyre.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl