The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

[LMNO]

I like Amanda and John.

[Doktor Howl]

I like Amanda and John.

I like all 3 of them.  Jackie might be the best of the three on paper.  I have spoken to 7 people this morning, with 7 more to go starting in 6 minutes.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Me:  "Do you have any experience working in a horrible corporate environment where your dreams are crushed just because?"

Amanda:  "My last job was programming for Oracle."

She seems nice.  And since she's coming from Oracle, she shouldn't have any moral qualms about weapons manufacturing.

[Doktor Howl]

Me:  "Do you have any experience working in a horrible corporate environment where your dreams are crushed just because?"

Amanda:  "My last job was programming for Oracle."

She seems nice.  And since she's coming from Oracle, she shouldn't have any moral qualms about weapons manufacturing.

Yeah, I feel like I'm hiring Cave Johnson.

[Doktor Howl]

My first three interviews tomorrow are Kyle, Karen, and Chad.

Ask me if I'm joking.

[The Johnny]

My first three interviews tomorrow are Kyle, Karen, and Chad.

Ask me if I'm joking.

I can smell tanning lotion, mountain dew and anti-maskers in the air already.

[Faust]

That is a really morally dark sector to work in, theres a lot of dodgy stuff I am willing to do, but working with Oracle is that step too far

[Cramulus]

My first three interviews tomorrow are Kyle, Karen, and Chad.

Ask me if I'm joking.

yeah, this is defintiely some kinda advanced joke setup


I've been staring at the screen for 5 minutes trying to think of the punchline but it somehow includes the manager wanting to talk to Karen.

[Cain]

The Chad Interviewee vs the Virgin Kyle (feat. Karen speaking with the manager)

[Doktor Howl]

The Chad Interviewee vs the Virgin Kyle (feat. Karen speaking with the manager)

[Doktor Howl]

Me:  "Apparently there are liability issues with allowing weaponized robots to hunt rats at the workplace and we have to stop testing them that way."

John:  "Um."

Me:  "Did I not mention this?  I could swear I mentioned this."

John:  "I thought you were kidding."

Me:   "I was.  Ignore any odd noises over the ceiling risers, it's just the building settling."

John:  "I thought you said you had to stop."

Me:  "And I will.  Just as soon as the batteries run down."

John:  "Can't you just send a command for them to stop?"

Me:  "What part of 'autonomous' are you not understanding?"

John: "Wait.  You didn't install a kill switch?"

Me:  "This is all normal, John."

John:  "What?  No.  It's not.  How do we know they won't attack people?"

Me:  "They can't see through the ceiling risers.  So, you know, don't remove any ceiling risers for the next 72 hours or so."

John:  "..."

Me:  "Welcome to The Corporation, Cyberpunk."

[altered]

 

How much fun are you having?

[Doktor Howl]

How much fun are you having?

More than is strictly reasonable.  I have 12 new people at once.

[Cain]

Is it fair to say you are having more fun than the rats?

Incidentally, you do know that eventually if you keep breeding the rats who make it away from the drones you will have another potent warfare resource to hand.

[Doktor Howl]

Is it fair to say you are having more fun than the rats?

Incidentally, you do know that eventually if you keep breeding the rats who make it away from the drones you will have another potent warfare resource to hand.

I figured I'd just go down swinging in ratpocalypse.  Stephen King did a great short story about that.