News:

Your political affiliations, your brand loyalties, and your opinions are all quicker, easier, and contain no user-serviceable parts.


Main Menu

The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on September 12, 2020, 01:56:19 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 11, 2020, 11:04:51 PM
Quote from: altered on September 11, 2020, 09:41:35 PM
Are you seriously talking about fucking with the strong force? Cause that's about all I can see ending in "expended matter". Also, if my memory serves, that's a path to truly horrible things, like quark matter (by which I mean quark matter that isn't bound into safe, clean baryonic subunits the way something nice and friendly like plutonium is...)

I'm still reading, but yes.

I don't think I want to make any of this on the planet where I keep my stuff.

This is definitely one of those situations where if someone said "Tsar Bomba" I'd say "revise upward". Christ.

You need to check the person responsible for possession of an unlicensed Grin. You know the type.

Far more quiet than Tsar Bomba.  It doesn't explode.  Things just kinda fall apart.
Molon Lube

altered

Oh, I know. I just meant the sheer destructive capability.

Though if quark matter is less stable than baryonic, it makes a boom too. (We don't know yet, conflicting theories exist depending on how easy it is to yoink virtual gluons from the vacuum.)
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on September 13, 2020, 01:53:07 AM
Oh, I know. I just meant the sheer destructive capability.

Though if quark matter is less stable than baryonic, it makes a boom too. (We don't know yet, conflicting theories exist depending on how easy it is to yoink virtual gluons from the vacuum.)

Yeah, that is on the list of 14 ways the universe can end, by the way.
Molon Lube

Fujikoma

Please write a guidebook for the end of the world, Doktor Howl.

altered

Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.

This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on September 13, 2020, 05:59:00 AM
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.

This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.

*slams start button right through the console*
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Fujikoma on September 13, 2020, 05:54:19 AM
Please write a guidebook for the end of the world, Doktor Howl.

I did.  It's an apple talk somewhere.
Molon Lube

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 13, 2020, 06:39:58 AM
Quote from: altered on September 13, 2020, 05:59:00 AM
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.

This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.

*slams start button right through the console*

If you're going to trigger a vacuum collapse, please give me a few minutes advance notice.  I'd like to climb up on the roof so I can enjoy the spectacle.

The End of Existence seldom happens more than once in a lifetime; I wouldn't want to miss it.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 13, 2020, 05:37:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 13, 2020, 06:39:58 AM
Quote from: altered on September 13, 2020, 05:59:00 AM
Oh, I know. Fucking with the strong force could seed a vacuum collapse.

This is a very bad idea by any measure. Christ.

*slams start button right through the console*

If you're going to trigger a vacuum collapse, please give me a few minutes advance notice.  I'd like to climb up on the roof so I can enjoy the spectacle.

The End of Existence seldom happens more than once in a lifetime; I wouldn't want to miss it.

Vacuum collapses propagate at the speed of light, and appear to be unbounded.
Molon Lube

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 13, 2020, 05:46:53 PM
Vacuum collapses propagate at the speed of light, and appear to be unbounded.
...but if it travels at the speed of light, then I wouldn't be able to see it.  :sad:

What a sorry world this is, that it should end suddenly, pointlessly, and unremarked, like an old man choking on a pancake at a waffle house!

I would rather it ended in glory, like Evel Knievel jumping the Amazon River on a rocket-powered unicycle.

yes, i know Knievel actually died of pulmonary disease
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on September 13, 2020, 09:09:14 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 13, 2020, 05:46:53 PM
Vacuum collapses propagate at the speed of light, and appear to be unbounded.
...but if it travels at the speed of light, then I wouldn't be able to see it.  :sad:

What a sorry world this is, that it should end suddenly, pointlessly, and unremarked, like an old man choking on a pancake at a waffle house!

I would rather it ended in glory, like Evel Knievel jumping the Amazon River on a rocket-powered unicycle.

yes, i know Knievel actually died of pulmonary disease

This is why I disapprove of this sort of apocalypse, really.  There's no opera
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Zoom conference this morning:

Dan:  "So, Hamish, I gather you and your team had a brainstorm on Saturday."

Me:  "Yes.  While you can't aim a femto-laser at a particular electron, you can in fact 'spray and pray'."

Billy:  "So, you're doing the equivalent of hosing down a club with Uzis rather than shoot your target with a pistol."

Me:  "Pretty much.  Only we don't actually care if we get our target, just that we get *a* target."

Dan:  "So how does that work?"

Me:  "It works with more lasers.  We should really talk to the client about actual prototyping here, rather than dicking around with 2 lasers."

Dan:  "No, you will not make exotic matter in my plant."

Billy:  "Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea."

Me:  "Balls.  If the worst case scenario occurred, it probably wouldn't propagate past the middle of New Mexico.  You guys are in Delaware, why do you care?"

Dan:  "It's a liability thing.  If you sank the Southwest, we'd probably get sued."

Billy:  "What are the odds that anything at all will happen?"

Me:  "Greater than zero, but not even worth considering.  This entire project is potato.  It's like getting a DARPA grant to make tachyon beams or some shit.  I'd bitch about this colossal waste of my time, but it turns out that I get paid regardless."

Dan:  "Then why do you want to do it?"

Me:  "Because more lasers equals more better."

Dan:  "..."

Billy:  "Seems obvious to me.  Dan, you should call the client."

Dan:  "..."

Me:  "That's an alarming shade of red, Dan.  You should relax."

Billy:  "Yeah, you have Hamish reporting to you now, and that is more fun if you don't fight the feeling."

Dan:  *rage noises*

Me:  "This is all normal, boss."





Molon Lube

altered

I can't see it, Dok. I just can't see any number of lasers hitting any number of electrons making anything truly scary under conditions we can make on earth. Seems impossible here.

But more lasers does indeed equal more better, so Dan should just give in.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: altered on September 22, 2020, 12:47:42 AM
I can't see it, Dok. I just can't see any number of lasers hitting any number of electrons making anything truly scary under conditions we can make on earth. Seems impossible here.

But more lasers does indeed equal more better, so Dan should just give in.

Naw, it's just engineering.  The brits managed fusion with lasers.  This is just sort of a bastardization of that.

But it's engineering that we aren't up to, yet.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

So my son was hired by The Corporation over in another department.

Two generations of nastiness in one company.  :)
Molon Lube