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The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

Started by Doktor Howl, November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 AM

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Doktor Howl

So, today I bought the old building back from the potheads and sold them the new building, with a 10% positive difference, and neither one of us has to pay municipal taxes for two years, because we are both *technically* moving a business into the city (both businesses are changing zip codes).

I shouldn't be proud of this sort of shit, but I am actually proud of this shit.
Molon Lube

TheAudience

Yeah, proud is probably the right reaction. Good on Ya!
registered to see the fatberg.

Doktor Howl

Today:

Me:  "Okay, so I can get that sick new PLC software now, right?"

Dan:  "Sorry, there is no money."

Me:  "WTF?  I just recovered $780K AND saved us $1.5 million in moving costs."

Dan:  "Moving costs?  I know nothing of these 'moving costs'."

Me:  "Oh, you son of a bitch.  It's a lousy $9K."

Dan:  "9K is a lot of money."

Me:  "9K doesn't even show up on my budget."

Dan:  "See?  There is no $9K."

Me:  *incoherent screaming*.

Dan:  "This is all normal, Hamish."
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

One of my technicians didn't show up today.

Because on Friday afternoon, he did the road rage thing and shot a 50 year old man to death and wounded the man's 6 year old grandson.

There is no joy in Mudville.

https://tucson.com/news/local/man-turns-himself-in-after-deadly-shooting-near-south-side-tucson-store/article_aab2288e-cbab-11eb-8be7-e7b722599bc5.html
Molon Lube

Fujikoma

What the actual fuck? I suppose it's a good thing he never had a case of "work rage".

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Fujikoma on June 14, 2021, 11:40:40 PM
What the actual fuck? I suppose it's a good thing he never had a case of "work rage".

That was in fact the hot topic of the water cooler crowd today.
Molon Lube

Fujikoma

#861
I've been reading about an awful lot of incidents similar to this lately, people who just flew off the chain and killed people over little shit, like just recently in Georgia four were shot, including the gunman, and one store clerk died because a customer was asked to put on a fucking mask, there was the road rage incident in California where a 5-6 year old boy was shot and died in the backseat of a car, there's more, but listing all of them would be draining, there was the religious guy in Georgia who went through shooting up Asian massage parlors in Georgia because of his "sex addiction"...

Maybe I'm late to the party but it would seem we need to rethink a few things about the right to bear arms.

Lord Batwing Candlewaxxe

Quote from: Fujikoma on June 15, 2021, 12:45:36 PM
I've been reading about an awful lot of incidents similar to this lately, people who just flew off the chain and killed people over little shit, like just recently in Georgia four were shot, including the gunman, and one store clerk died because a customer was asked to put on a fucking mask,

There has been so much anti-mask conspiracy theory rhetoric (QAnon, etc.) that I'm rather surprised that this didn't happen a lot sooner, like the Pizzagate thing.

Quotethere was the road rage incident in California where a 5-6 year old boy was shot and died in the backseat of a car, there's more, but listing all of them would be draining, there was the religious guy in Georgia who went through shooting up Asian massage parlors in Georgia because of his "sex addiction"...

The mainstream news media leaned in hard to Long's sex-addiction claim; but tended to downplay his history of racism and misogyny.

QuoteMaybe I'm late to the party but it would seem we need to rethink a few things about the right to bear arms.

At least until Americans as a whole grow up and stop acting like spoiled two-year-olds.
"You know those days when things keep getting worse faster than you can lower your standards?" - Carrie Fisher


Perhaps the damned horse can fly.

Doktor Howl

Today at work:

Luis:  "I think I'm ready to retire."

Me:  "By an odd coincidence, your pay went up $5/hour."

Luis:  "But I'm tired.  I want to go home.  I'll be 69 next week."

Me:  "If you work a year or two at the new rate, your social security checks will be measurably larger, AND you'll get the higher rate for late retirement."

Luis:  "You son of a bitch."

Me:  "We're going to do great things.  Forever."
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Today at work:

CEO:  "Hey, Hamish..."

Me:  "Hamvin."

CEO: "What?"

Me:  "Hamvin.  Me and Kevin accidentally got fused and..."

CEO:  "You are so goddamn weird."

Me:  "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets.  This is an all-new nightmare.  Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"

Walter:  "He's right, man this is pretty fucked up."

Me:  "You hush, Walter, we're building a better world."

Walter: "I thought you said toilet drones."

Me:  "I did.  That's a better world than a world with no toilet drones."

CEO:  *walks out*

Walter:  "I'm going to the can."

Me:  "Can you hold it like 7 minutes?"

Walter:  *looks startled*

Me:  "A better world, Walter."



Molon Lube

Faust

I have questions:
Was the 7 minutes needed to get the drone OUT, or to get it IN before he arrived.

How does this identify if it has its target: has it got a variation on facial detection techniques for ass cheeks?
Sleepless nights at the chateau

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 28, 2021, 08:57:05 PM
Me:  "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets.  This is an all-new nightmare.  Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"

I was thinking about countermeasures for this.  By the time I figured that we might need an encrypted data channel between the toilet flush controller and the sewage interlock, it became clear that:

1.  I don't understand much about plumbing.
2.  Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Brother Flight Risk

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 29, 2021, 04:58:03 PM
2.  Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.

"The Right Honourable Member will be curling one out under Victorian Protocol."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Faust on July 29, 2021, 04:55:04 PM
I have questions:
Was the 7 minutes needed to get the drone OUT, or to get it IN before he arrived.

How does this identify if it has its target: has it got a variation on facial detection techniques for ass cheeks?

1.  In.  I might have to use the toilet, after all.

2.  It's not very discriminating.  37C +/2.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 29, 2021, 04:58:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 28, 2021, 08:57:05 PM
Me:  "Boss, I'm building a drone that goes up the sewer pipes into peoples' toilets.  This is an all-new nightmare.  Do you have some NORMAL people around to build that?"

I was thinking about countermeasures for this.  By the time I figured that we might need an encrypted data channel between the toilet flush controller and the sewage interlock, it became clear that:

1.  I don't understand much about plumbing.
2.  Any travelling heads of state would be best served to request a hotel room without a toilet, and they will just have to go in a chamber pot.

For most buildings, the sewer interlock is just a 180 degree trap, like you have under your sink.
Molon Lube