The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)

[Doktor Howl]

Norton saw his first Tucson moment today.

He and Renee (one of his wives) and I were coming back from lunch when this dude jets into traffic, cuts two people off, and gets creamed by a box truck.  Guy flies out of his window and lands across a fire hydrant.

Norton:  *turns green*

Renee:  *smiles*

Renee is my current short duration personal savior.

[Faust]

Incredibly relieved he only hurt himself, generally the play stupid games win stupid prizes games on the road results in people who weren't even playing getting the prize

[Doktor Howl]

Incredibly relieved he only hurt himself, generally the play stupid games win stupid prizes games on the road results in people who weren't even playing getting the prize

What?  No, that dude was as dead as you get.

[Faust]

Sorry I meant I am glad he got creamed and not someone else, no sympathy for him

[Doktor Howl]

Sorry I meant I am glad he got creamed and not someone else, no sympathy for him

Yes, it scored low on body count, but got full marks for grotesqueness.

[Doktor Howl]

So, life has been very complicated for the last month or so.

I went back into the biz, bringing my crew with me, and the bastards seconded me to a government contractor doing urbanism again.

Then the primary contractor poached us all, with very nice offers.  So we jumped ship.  Again.

Now the four of us are doing disaster planning for one of those weird acronym agencies that sound both unfamiliar (ie, not FBI or CIA) but also so bland that it seems somehow threatening.

In short, we get paid to think about system failure and what plans need to be in place, but in a far more general way.  We get paid to be obsessive pessimists.  Which I was already doing for free.

[Faust]

Sounds like your crew landed the perfect job to suit the interests. Do you get to set up an explosive fatberg group or are those too well established as:
We know they can go wrong, we know they WILL go wrong.

[Doktor Howl]

Sounds like your crew landed the perfect job to suit the interests. Do you get to set up an explosive fatberg group or are those too well established as:
We know they can go wrong, we know they WILL go wrong.

We haven't actually been told what to look at, just that we look.

This is the best of all possible worlds.

[Doktor Howl]

Today, at work:

Me:  "We have been asked for an analysis of recovery time from another Carrington Event."

Billy:  "Um."

Norton:  "Do they know what that even is?"

Sideways Dave:  "Everyone dies.  Our remains are eaten by coyotes.  THE END."

Me:  "You have all impressed me by knowing what a Carrington Event IS.  However, you have all failed on the proper response to a contractor being asked that question."

Norton:  "What do you mean?"

Billy:  "He means that the study will be very difficult and cost lots of money."

Me:  "Bingo."

SD:  "I will start modeling the effects."

Norton:  "I feel dirty."

SD:  "That's because you ARE dirty now, Vato.  We are those guys in the movie that place profit over long-term survival.  You can't react to a Carrington Event, you have to do all the work before it happens, and..."

Norton:  "...And nobody will do that work, because you'll never get it past congress, so we'll just study it and shelve it."

Me:  "We're going to great things, Norton."

[Fujikoma]

Great. Howl will defend us from the sun, I can't wait to see our odds.

[Fujikoma]

Better than being asked to fend off vacuum collapse, at least.

[Doktor Howl]

Great. Howl will defend us from the sun, I can't wait to see our odds.

It's casino odds.  Eventually you're fucked and no more food or electric light.

[Fujikoma]

Great. Howl will defend us from the sun, I can't wait to see our odds.

It's casino odds.  Eventually you're fucked and no more food or electric light.

Worth betting on, I mean, if I lose I'm ravaged by feral, starving city-dwellers when the food doesn't come in. Honestly, the question being asked here is an important one, I looked it up, scary stuff. It makes sense for us to be as prepared as possible if/when this happens, but yeah I see there's not a lot of money to be made on that, because it hasn't happened yet, and when it does, it'll be too late for preparation.

[Fujikoma]

The thing I have to remember is that just the other winter, Texas froze over and their grid wasn't winterized, a few hundred people died, not huge, but even one is huge to someone close to them. They could have, but when the option was left to them, they opted for profits over being prepared.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Today, at work:

Me:  "We have been asked for an analysis of recovery time from another Carrington Event."

Dear God.

They're paying you to be Dr. Strangelove.